Stefan Molyneux Advises a Woman to Be Hypergamous

a reply to: Profusion

Interesting topic. In my perception and experience, most men like dating and marrying/long term commitments with a woman established in some sort of self sufficiency...so a woman looking to settle down with a man and raise children would like to be with a man also well established financially. Its a two way road as i see it...however, i do believe love and faith conquers all and i have seen many start families out of love and their love paving the way...love will make either partner want to find a good job and provide for their family.
Any gender looking for the other partner to be successful and wealthy as a requisite for entering into settling down seems a bit shallow..although its nice for either to be able to depend on the other should one loose work or what not...
A little song that could go either way,

I have noticed many males do not want a female "scrub" too!
This brings to my mind thoughts of so many folks having issues with feminism... not every woman is lucky enough to have a kind, loving and fincially stable man to depend on..plus many women like earning their own dough and feeling successful in their self sufficiency.

a reply to: peppycat

Hah! That song was stuck in my head when I was reading this thread, actually!

And you're right, it goes both ways. My spouse and I were both commenting on a strange anomaly where we live. So far, all of the men we've dated here have roommates and no car. And all of the women we've dated here live alone and have a car.

It's really been surprising.

Abysha

Wealth, poverty... I've dated people from both extremes and it never even once swayed my romantic attraction towards them.

I am the same, I have dated both well to do and ones that can't seem to get a foothold on steady income...and as my luck in romance seems to be, the ones I really loved were the ones too afraid to leave their mom's basements!

It's the 21st century, people. Our survival doesn't depend on hooking up with the jerk with the most animal pelts. So silly.

LOL!
Great post all around,btw.

a reply to: Abysha
Scrub was the first thing that came to my mind when i read the OP, lol!
It is interesting how some areas have differing mindsets when it comes to finance than other areas...my town seems to be filled with mates that want the finances to be on equal footing...and a few towns over, males don't seem to mind as much being more supportive with money.
Your post makes me wonder why some males in certain areas don't have as much motivation and if the anti-feminist grumblers see things like you and your spouse notice...and think that motivated, self sufficient women are part of the reason men can be so unmotivated (not having to worry over being the main bread winner..?)...any how, you gave me some more food for thought on things of this nature, thank you!

a reply to: peppycat

If Jesus were alive today, it sounds to me like he would be in the "scrub" category for you. One of the things that I admire about Jesus is exactly what's described below. I find it fascinating that as a Christian you apparently do not support Jesus' views on material wealth whereas I align with those beliefs fairly well as a non-Christian.

When He launches His public ministry, Jesus lives a life that embraces poverty. After His baptism, Jesus goes into the wilderness, living as a starving person might, without food for forty days. He lives the life of a poor itinerate preacher, walking on foot for thousands of miles and often sleeping outdoors. He lives with the poor, heals the poorest of the poor, the blind, the lame, the lepers and the possessed. He lives like the homeless, saying, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (Matt 8:20). Jesus tells the rich young man to give away all his possessions and to follow Him (Luke 18:22). He applauds the destitute widow who, even in her poverty, gives a penny to the Jewish treasury (Mark 12:42-44). Prior to Holy week, Jesus spends time in Bethany (from the Aramaic, meaning “The House of Poverty”). Jesus dies like a common criminal, stripped bare, beaten and hung on the Cross and watches the soldiers gamble for His robe, His one material possession (John 19:23-24).

There can be no denying that Jesus Christ embraces poverty and that “poverty” is one of the core messages in the Gospel; Jesus preaches a Gospel of Poverty. Jesus comes to “preach good news to the poor” (Luke 4:18). “Jesus shares the life of the poor, from the cradle to the cross, He experiences hunger, thirst and privation” (CCC 544).
LINK

a reply to: Profusion

he knew
this fleeting life

like dogs chasing their tails
humans chasing money

you could let money decide
who you will remember
on your death bed
who to share your life with

you wont be able to take any of it with you
was it worth it ?

a reply to: Abysha

Exactly.

When I look back on human history, particularly the history of my own nation, I have found it to be full of instances where choices that we would consider abominable, were made as to whom a person ought marry. Far from the noble, virtuous, and beautiful ideal of marriage for love, many unions of princesses and princes, kings and queens, have been entirely or mostly arrangements of convenience, to stop wars, to unite people, or to gain land or stature for a Royal house.

And so it has been even in the "lower" segments of society. Marriage traded for a given improvement in circumstance for one or another party, rather than because either part of that union would want to live without the other in their lives, regardless of the consequences to their pocketbooks or status. And since those times, wars were fought, equality arose, and yet still, there is this notion that love is irrelevant, that it can be learned. It cannot.

Love is not something you figure out how to do while doing it. Love is something that informs what you do from the moment you contract it, till the moment your heart is broken by it, and no amount of money, or prestige, or connections one might gain from pretending to that status, will ever be equal to the need human hearts have for deep, and total love. To fool oneself into believing that mere economic factors will ever compare to that subatomic pull that drags one constantly into the orbit of another, is to do nothing more than stand in the way of ones own legitimate joy.

a reply to: TrueBrit

That's all well and good but there is nothing stopping one find 'true love' in a higher social demographic than ones own.

I could frequent a working class social club and find love at Bob's Karaoke night on the weekend, or alternatively by frequenting the expensive bars at the harbour, could find love ending at a boat on the marina.

it's all about the pool of people you are sifting through, and if I was a woman I'd be looking for a mate who is associating in circles other than Bob's Karaoke night or the local homeless shelter.

There is absolutely no argument to make that choosing to look in a higher social demographic means true love cannot be found.
Same as I could probably find love in the food bank queue, I just wouldn't want someone with such problems in their life so wouldn't look there.

a reply to: grainofsand

I never said that there was any reason to suggest that finding love outside ones social sphere is impossible or illegitimate. I said that marrying for any reason other than pure love, is an illegitimate methodology.

a reply to: TrueBrit

And I was pointing out that a hypergamus path doesn't necessarily equate to marrying someone you do not love.
That has been the main complaint in this thread and I don't get the assumption that aiming higher means no love. It's ridiculous.

I have plenty of female friends who only frequent expensive bars for that reason, and yes some have found deep love.
As I said initially on the previous page, if I was a girl, I wouldn't be hanging around with scrubs at the social club looking for love, nope, guys in sharp suits at the marina would be my target group and yes love could easily be found.

a reply to: grainofsand

That has been the main complaint in this thread and I don't get the assumption that aiming higher means no love. It's ridiculous.

The issue stems from the OP.

Stefan Molyneux interviews a woman in the video above who I would say is in a relationship for the right reasons. She is happy, content, and satisfied. She seems ready to marry the love of her life. She doesn't seem to be in the relationship for hypergamous reasons at all.

Stefan Molyneux advises her to be hypergamous.

She is in a relationship. She is happy. She is in love.
She then gets told, basically, "You can do better, you should do better. Ditch the person you love and find someone more financially capable."

That leads to the impression that love is irrelevant, and is why the complaint is existent within this thread.

*Also noting hypergamy itself, which is to not marry for love, but to increase social standing, to be of a higher caste than you once were, and ultimately for gain other than love and companionship.

a reply to: Profusion

I think your reading too deeply into a silly song that i posted in relation to your topic...sorry i didn't keep with the heavy mood you must be in with thinking of hypergamy.
your usually more thorough in reading the words i post. if you read the reply i made to Abysha, you'll see that i stated my romantic dating history as all inclusive when it comes to "status''...money, no money ect...
As to your post in reference to Jesus... YOU my friend, have mentioned not wanting to date below your status in a thread about a woman that asked to marry you.
What you are suggesting is Jesus wants for me to do is give up everything, wander around preaching and waiting for handouts and maybe i find love in a shelter catching scabies, hoping not to be assaulted in my sleep out doors... I really think Jesus is okay with me working, feeding myself, wearing clean clothing and having a roof over my head and that he wants me to find romantic love no matter the status...I personally want a motivated man that ALSO works...that does not mean that i am attracted to men with more money, status than me...and i personally do not think it is love if a man wants to loaf around, not working for his family, unmotivated about our future or children's future, while because of marriage i take up his child support payment debts from his previous marriage and struggle to tend to all finances...That stress maybe love for some, i see it as stress... marriage (especially with children) is a team effort...either one partner has enough to care for the whole family and wants too or both partners support the family...non- gender specific.
As far as what i was trying to convey, folks need money to raise a child no matter which partner is of "higher status" it is not love to let your children go hungry, wondering when they are going to eat or sleep and i do believe Jesus wants children to be fed, clothed with a roof over their head.
If you start a thread about the life of Jesus and what he wants for those that put their faith in him, i will happily take part in that thread.

a reply to: peppycat

Wow I'll leave you guys to the thread lol x

a reply to: grainofsand

i had a bit of a nerve hit...now i just need a beer!
don't let my post stop you from this thread!

a reply to: peppycat

Lol the whole Jesus thing!
No god gives a # about acting god lies to local populaces, haha why would they? Got any testable and/or verifiable evidence???

originally posted by: peppycat
As to your post in reference to Jesus... YOU my friend, have mentioned not wanting to date below your status in a thread about a woman that asked to marry you.

I never wrote anything like that. I think the quote below is what you're referring to. I specifically wrote that I could date her.

originally posted by: Profusion
I could date her, but it would never be serious in my mind. In my mind, if I dated her I would just be using her to have someone to hang out with for a while. She wants marriage, and I would never marry someone who's interested in hypergamy first and foremost...it's a dead end and pointless to go there in my opinion.

LINK

As to the rest of what you wrote, I understand your position better now. Thank you for taking the time to explain your point of view.

originally posted by: peppycat
If you start a thread about the life of Jesus and what he wants for those that put their faith in him, i will happily take part in that thread.

Good idea. I think the poverty topic is very interesting, so I'm sticking with that. I'll be looking forward to your contributions.

The Poverty of Jesus Christ