Did Generation X fail as parents?: RE Millennials

originally posted by: Bloodydagger
I used to get a leather belt up and down my ass as a kid when I got out of line. Kids these days are quick to scream child abuse and other things due to stuff they hear at School, Social Media and elsewhere. They even complain to teachers at school that Mommy or Daddy beat them the night before when all it was, was a discipline whipping. Parents hands are tied these days. Nobody wants CPS called on them. Somewhere along the line, I'd say in the 1990s, there was an illusion that took place that transformed discipline into abuse.

My parents used to spank me. They eventually gave up because I didn't care. The pain of a spanking only lasts a moment, but the loss of something being destroyed due to me misbehaving was permanent. So it didn't work on me.

Plus, I quickly figured out that people, even my parents weren't omnipotent. For every 30 things I did, they would only catch 1. I was not a good kid.

There are normal kids.. and they DO respond to spankings and explanations IMO. Then there are kids like I was.. the harder you hit, the more resolved I was to not let you make me cry and not comply. My dad called me a wild horse that needed to be broken.. and now looking back I agree. I regret being such a huge pain. You cant say "spanking works" or this works or that works. Its so individual with kids.. you have to really get to know them first. Spending a few hrs before bed with your kid isnt enough to get to know them as a person in and of themselves.

As a mother... I am a hard person. ( hell, as a wife, friend, boss, coworker.. Im a hard person.. I know this) I demand a LOT. Mainly because I know each of my kids as an individual and know what they can and cant do. I demand to the limits of what they are capable of, and to put their best effort forth for things they cant. There is failure and success. You cant know the true sweetness of success without tasting the bitterness of failure. Kids understand this.. sometimes more than parents do IMO. I have an adult daughter and her fiancee.. and my new grandson...who moved back in. Im a taskmaster on a good day. My future son in law is a good guy.. as in good in his heart. Hard to find this truly. However, he is a foster care kid.. abused.. ex addict.. and Im rough. He also loves me and would take a bullet for me LOL! Kids.. even adult ones.. need a parent. They need a parent to BE a parent. Love, the true love of a parent, is giving your kid all that you have to give them. When its hard.. when they hate you for it.. you stay the course of whats in their best interests.

My girls know how to be WOMEN.. not the modern woman I guess.. but "old fashioned" women. They know what loyalty is. They know what work is. They have their own very high standards, but they also dont trample on others. ( IE they are not gay themselves, but they are all 3 tolerant of and even loving toward human beings who happen to be gay. 2 of them are pro lifers, but dont expect others to make their same choices and are tolerant toward and even loving toward friends and family who are for abortion rights) My girls can hunt, dress a deer, understand clean kills, mercy and where there food comes from. One is a vegetarian! LOL! Like I said.. all of them are individuals. I have promoted that they make their own choices and decisions since they could speak and understand things. I will give them MY view on things.. and encourage them to investigate ALL views.. then make their decisions.

I have not been a perfect parent. By far. But I have some wonderful daughters who are so unique and stand out among a sea of fools and kardashians. My daughters are beautiful.. some here have seen their pics.. but arent vain. I am so very proud of my daughters and not becaause of what Ive done.. but because of their choices, decisions, and lives theyve chosen are so uniquely theirs.

a reply to: Bloodydagger

Gen Y here - and no...my Gen X parents did not fail as parents. In fact, the only reason my grandma had to babysit me was because they couldn't find a sitter in time. I lived my life realizing that like them, if I wanted to succeed in something, I had to earn or do it myself. Additionally, I was taught that not everyone will get a ribbon.

Hardly "coddled" - I still have plenty of scars from my misadventures. I saw the good and bad of the world from them too. Though my parents were divorced, I wasn't running around on the streets; if I was out there, it was because I was keeping myself out of trouble.

My parents also used to spank, which led to timeouts, and in extreme cases, forced me to stay indoors on a nice day.

In short: I don't think it's the parents that failed my generation/future generations, but society as a whole. As kids, they are raised in a school system that encourages everyone to get a trophy, allows for something like grading on a curve (in my case, it didn't matter if two people studied and got an A; we all would get graded on the curve to boost our scores), and gives them a safe spot by kicking out someone being disruptive ("Jonny! You called her an idiot. Go to the principal's office now!").

You then turn these kids out into the real world after 12 years of that, and now these same kids (now adults) expect the real world to be like this. Instead, they find that college is expensive, jobs in their field expect 10 years of experience for an entry-level position, and people can offend them without being sent to the adult Principal's office (unless they are in corporate, in which case they get sent to H.R.).

Which generation do you fall under?
-fossilera

Fossilera has just rooted out the reason. Very true you know. But, it all started with my generation.. born 1964.. a barely boomer. We allowed the school to become the parent more than we were the parent.. because making a dollar to keep up with Suzy down the street meant success. THAT is the origin. You were a stupid pet if you stayed at home, sacrificed a second income to raise your kids, and didnt work. There was a lot of pressure to do that and leave the child with the school as parent. We were pressured by society that we werent good enough if we werent working and "contributing" and etc.Material excess and greed were now the right things to feed inside. Everything from advertising to tv shows to magazines told us what we should be and what we were if we didnt. We forgot our children and our community and the state both are in are the yard stick of success. Rich or poor, new car or bus pass... your kids are a reflection of your success.

My parents were born on rez, and my dad moved off to work inside of the real America he loved so much. He was very successful and I really had what youd call a charmed life.BUT.. culturally I was raised as both. One foot in each and accepted by neither.. so I got a degree and worked my butt off because I thought THAT was what a woman was supposed to be.

Its not a conspiracy. We have been purposely programmed to break apart a family and everything that has been a family unit throughout the ages has been disrupted. We have these cascading problems within our culture and societies due to it Im convinced. Theyve absolutely destroyed black American culture and black families in particular. Theyve done it the same way .. gotten into our brains. TV, music, Advertisments, beauty dos and donts, whats acceptable and not, THEY have told us.. and they are wrong.

We can dicker over methods, but I think the real problem is that somewhere, parents stopped being parents so much as they wanted to be friends with their kids.

a reply to: fossilera

You then turn these kids out into the real world after 12 years of that, and now these same kids (now adults) expect the real world to be like this. Instead, they find that college is expensive, jobs in their field expect 10 years of experience for an entry-level position, and people can offend them without being sent to the adult Principal's office (unless they are in corporate, in which case they get sent to H.R.).

I agree with you. You seem to have hit the trifecta. One of the rare ones, flexible, lucky, and smart.

Old fart boomer here.

You remind me of my nephew. He is 16. His parents are divorced. He has played hopscotch across the State. Every year with a different parent or grandparent, every year a different school, but it has made him strong, independent, understanding, compassionate, and extremely generous.

He is a lucky one also, because he has never had to doubt that he is loved. He just had to ride along while the adults in his life rode the winds of circumstance. I think not having everything he wanted, when he wanted it, taught him to appreciate what he did get. It also helped him become compassionate and generous.

Spending time with his grandparents taught him independence and respect, for himself and others. He has had a chaotic life, but he is a good person and I think his future is going to be much brighter than his life is now. I don't worry about him. He is always telling me, "Auntie, don't sweat the small stuff, it is going to be okay."

The younger generations are products of their parenting and society. They can''t be blamed for what they have been taught and conditioned to expect. They also have the additional burden of the i-phenomenon. Being globally, electronically connected near 24/7, has done little for their humanity, and has cemented them into a self-centered world of instant gratification, with a need to self validate constantly.

That is why they are easily offended, why they take pictures of every second of their day and post them to the world for global approval. They are more connected with the people on the internet than they are the people in their own homes. They are the product of our brave new world and it won't get better.

a reply to: Bloodydagger

What is "Generation X"?

a reply to: paradoxious

umm, can't tell if thats a serious question or not.

a reply to: trollslayer

Dayum....bravo...not much to say but I likes it.

I did read it, thanks!

a reply to: Aazadan

Great points....I'd put 2 cents on that