Softball with AugustusMasonicus

Welcome back to another edition of Softball. This afternoon’s guest is someone we could all take inspiration from. Notice I said ‘could’ since I don’t think this person drinks enough for me to be inspired by them. However, they have made their private battle with illness public on this forum and displayed more bravery in that thread then many of us could muster ourselves so I suppose I could make an exception.

Her posts pull no punches which means she’s probably poked you in the eye with a sharp stick on at least one occasion-and if you’re like me you probably deserved it. So, join me in warmly greeting ATS’s own Belle of Boston, Kali74. Thanks for taking the time to speak with us today Kali, let’s get right into it.





AM: Do I have to be nice to you because you have cancer?

KA: Nope lol.

AM: Good, we both have reputations as hard asses and I would hate in any way to ruin them. As a member of a conspiracy site how pissed where you when you received your diagnosis and knew A) That the government gave you cancer and B) Is hiding all the cures from you?

KA: While I'm 100% certain that the GOP had the Grey's abduct me and inject me with cancer cells (I think they took my eggs too!) in a counter shill operation. I pray to Bill Nye everyday to bless the researchers and I know He will grant them the wisdom to thwart the anti-Science heathens.

AM: What is your favorite miracle cure that someone has given you?

KA: I'm a hippie Leftist, what do you think? Alkaline brownies... duh.

AM: What makes you more nauseous, chemo or Trump?

KA: Trump. I didn't even know what nausea was until the very second he was sworn in.

AM: You’re not shy about discussing politics, do you intentionally get your family and friends riled up with this topic?

KA: Yes but only to make sure they're following their programming and only at dinner. I have an entirely different strategy when discussing politics with my redneck family but it's top secret Alinsky-level clearance.

AM: How does the other side of the family handle you? Can they even properly digest a meal when you are in the room?

KA: Well, we love each other, which I'm sure is largely due to the miles between Alabama and Massachusetts however I must confess that my Uncle's home made buttermilk biscuits can make me forget my duty to convert them.

Also, and I hate to admit this, but I think they're on to me. Every time I bring up Bernie and how his politics are the future they ask me if I've accepted Christ into my heart... I can't offend their religion so I'm screwed and end up praying to Jesus for the next 2 hours.

AM: Have you completed feminizing your son?

KA: I think I've done all I can, he's 17 so in another year or so he'll be off to college where he's not sure if he's going to be majoring in White Guilt or Male Privilege. Really either would make so, so proud. I tear up just thinking about it, he's smart enough and ashamed enough to double major.

AM: You must be so proud. Have you prepped him on what restroom he has to flail his junk around in?

KA: I tried really hard to raise him gender neutral but alas on top of being born male, he identifies as male and so I had to give up trying to get him to use the women's room. With therapy we have both come terms with this and moved on.

AM: Did you take your screenname in honor of the ultra-liberal west coast state or the white vegetable that looks like tiny brains?

KA: Both, I had to pay homage to my ideological homeland as well as my vegetarianism.

AM: Who does a better Southie accent, Wahlberg, Affleck, Damon or you?

KA: Mark and Donnie Wahlberg, hands down. I have that Southern taint so I don't actually have a Boston accent but I can fake it pretty well.

AM: Lobstah roll or chowdah?

KA: Vegetarian. Tofu.

AM: I don't think a Bahstan accent can make it any more appealing. Who is meaner in real life, you or Whitey Bulger?

KA: Me. The Mob is so tame compared to Che Guevara and the Black Panthers.

AM: New England is like a…

KA: Superbowl Champion!

AM: I like where you took that. Greatest place you’ve travelled to and why? (Sully’s in Charlestown doesn’t count.)

KA: Ireland, their Leftists wear combat boots and not just for protests.

AM: Okay, now for some softballs. Kali's favorite film?

KA: The Lion King. Who couldn't love a story about a young cub overthrowing a dictator so stupid as to ruin the water supply?

AM: Musician?

KA: Do drumming circles count?

AM: Of course. But if you had to pick one performer or band who would it be?

KA: Bob Dylan. I can only hope he comes out with some anti Trump doozies before retiring.

AM: Book?

KA: Any book about slavery so that I keep my white guilt fresh.

AM: Your favorite meal and/or restaurant?

KA: I'm pretty simple, don't care much to sit in a fancy restaurant in stuffy clothes with the evil rich, give me a grilled cheese at a mom and pop any day of the week.

AM: Final question. ATS member you’d most like to chug a beer with and why?

KA: That's not a fair question, there's several. Since I already have plans to do just that with one ATS member already... and in all seriousness for a moment, Spiramirabilis. She has been an incredible friend to me and held my hand from a far during my most vulnerable moments. She and I have a date with coconut drinks (hopefully served by hot, young men in banana hammocks), surf and sand someday.


Kali rolled out of a VW Microbus on July 19th 1974 in Boaz, Alabama of all places. She landed in a tin roof house that belonged to the maternal grandparents she would never meet. By the time Kali was a year old her hippie parents realized their ideal of raising a family on a farm was incompatible the local redneck politics and they decided to go back to Boston.

Kali really had no hope of escaping Leftist indoctrination and was educated in Public Schools where she learned how to hate white people and worship Science. And so she grew up, fell in love with a Conservative (she really does love to argue), had a wonderful son and then ran off his Dad with a shotgun so that she could raise him to be a feminist.

That's how she got to be the paid Soros shill you all know and hate today.

That concludes this month’s edition, I hope you all enjoyed our guest and her candid, anti-everything-you-stand-for dialogue. Remember that there is more that makes us the same than there is that makes us different. I also promise that I will not say anything sappy like that ever again.

Thanks again Kali for participating, this is the spot where I usually hand out some inane parting gift, but instead I have my respect and admiration to give. Stay strong sister. Until the next time.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I really enjoyed that my friend, thank you for the laughs.

originally posted by: Kali74
I really enjoyed that my friend, thank you for the laughs.

You are very welcome. It was fun for me as well, especially since you are like smart and stuff from all the public school learneding you got.

I also enjoyed that, didn't know Kali was so funny!

Cool.

originally posted by: geezlouise

I also enjoyed that, didn't know Kali was so funny!

Cool.

She's very funny, anyone that liberal has to be.

Kali is American?

Go figure. I always thought she was from Cuba or Narnia.

I just wish the interview has spent more time focusing on the important things, like how the Pats suck and are going to lose in just a few hours, but another great interview with one of my favorite foes!

Bahahaha! That was great! I really needed a good laugh today so thank you both! Fun interview!!!!

originally posted by: DBCowboy

Kali is American?

Go figure. I always thought she was from Cuba or Narnia.

Nope on Narnia, the Trump Executive Order banned refugees from literary fantasy lands. He was trying to prevent the White Witch (Hillary) from coming back and shut that wardrobe down.

Kali really enjoyed your interview.

You have a great spirit.


Have really enjoyed this thread. Thx Augustus.

originally posted by: crappiekat
Have really enjoyed this thread. Thx Augustus.

Thank you, but it's all the guests.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

"Temporary" ban on Narnians.

Temporary.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Kali has been there for me in so many ways her own self. So, this is how it goes

She's special

____________________________

That - was a really great read

You two should go on the road

:-)

originally posted by: Spiramirabilis
You two should go on the road

:-)

Only if we can take the Cowboy with us.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

They've remade everything else - why not Road to Morocco

:-)

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

You just want someone to carry the luggage and to purchase stuff with my AARP card.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
You just want someone to carry the luggage and to purchase stuff with my AARP card.

Yeah, my current personal assistant had 'an accident'.

And before you ask, not the kind that you keep having, this was more of an injury type thing.

originally posted by: Spiramirabilis
They've remade everything else - why not Road to Morocco

:-)

Is that the one where the female lead kills both of the smart mouthed privileged male characters?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I don't see why not

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Yeah, my current personal assistant had 'an accident'. And before you ask, not the kind that you keep having, this was more of an injury type thing.

Would that be the kind of accident that requires Depends?