When should we help strangers in their time of need?

A week ago, I was walking into a mall store, and a man ahead of me collapsed and clearly began to have a seizure. People gathered around him, but nobody did anything, so I asked, should I phone 9/11. Somebody said yes, so I did, and I stayed on my cell phone until the ambulance arrived.

So is there a limit to helping strangers in need? A female is being assaulted by a male? Should we intervene? Maybe he has a gun. Maybe he is a big man and the witness is a small, old male such as me.

In that situation, I would get on my cell phone in a hurry, but I doubt I would have the nerve to confront a clearly superior nasty person.

a reply to: droid56

The first few times you see someone having a seizure it can be frightening. You did the right thing by calling EMS.
Another thing that you can do is protect them from injury by moving things away from them and turning them on their side, if possible so they don't aspirate.
If helping a stranger would put my loved ones, assuming they are with me at the time, in danger then the only 'moral' responsibility I would feel is contacting the authorities.

If someone has a gun and I run to 'save' the other person and now, potentially, we are both dead...what help was I?

I have talked folks off the 'cliff' (for lack of better words) and I don't regret it and all came out unsscathed but now that I have children...it's a little different, IMO.

I'd do what I can and what I feel safe doing but I don't know if it's in me to take a bullet for someone that I don't know or love. Honestly.

a reply to: droid56

Anytime you get 'involved' you risk getting arrested, sued and probably even shot by police. It is too damn dangerous to do the right thing anymore and I wouldn't risk it for a stranger. Plus, you can easily misinterpret what you see and come down on the wrong side.

Now, IF I had medical training or a black belt I might consider helping in some cases, but I am not trained to respond to such situations other than basic medical training I have as a high school coach to deal with sports type injuries and concussions.

My simple philosophy is that I dont have to change the world with some big idea, I just have to be as good a human as I can to anyone within 50 feet of me at all times. And to be humble in my helping, the minute one boasts their good deeds, they cease to be good deeds, I say. Give selflessly and you shall be rewarded ten fold.

Good on you for helping

I am saddened at both your responses. Where are the heroes? I pray to god that if my family or friends are in need that people around would RUN to help.
I've seen women being mistreated by their boyfriends and physically gotten between them and took some physical punches and I don't regret it.

I've talked people to give up weapons-I've fed the poor when crazy strangers were looking on-threateningly-
and I am just an old woman.

I miss MEN-who were unafraid to help out those in danger-strangers or not.

Honestly-this op question is a shock! Where are real men-of honor and bravery? Sitting on their fat butts playing video games or writing on blogs-virtual reality has stolen your manhood.

It's best not to intervene or put yourself at risk these days, but you should at least try to get help for the person in need. Depends on the situation of course.

I've been helped before when my ex husband was caught beating me. It most certainly scared him and stopped the assault.

I have been and always will be the type that run towards the fire or screams, stops to help someone who is having a seizure, etc. I've never been arrested, attacked, sued or got into any trouble of any kind. I have however, saved the lives of heart attack and car accident victims and gotten people out of harm's way. There is no question of when to help. You help if you can and if you can't or are too afraid to, get out of the way.
And if you're not actively helping, don't stand there and gawk. It's not a free circus, it's someone's life.

a reply to: droid56

That a stupid way to put it. If youre there, can help...do it. Youre not obligated...but damn, A phone call?

Im coming IN an ambulance and the best we can do for you is 7-10 minutes tops....and the person could have died....or been beaten up.

Follow your gut when time is of the essence...or life and death. We try...but a phone cant perform CPR or knock out a robber...

MS
EMT/ERT
Advanced LIfe Support

Listen, I'm a BLS instructor and feel very comfortable helping in any type of medical emergency...and have. I have also gotten 'in between' couples in a physical altercation and wound up with both of them turning on me. I know there are those out there who have experienced that. I have no regrets but, understand going in that this is a possibility.

I would have no fear being involved in a hand to hand combat type situation. Sure, I'll take a beat down or worse but, I've lived it and it doesn't scare me anymore and really, not even knives or batons especially if the individual is under the influence or wild with rage and not in control.

A weapon like a gun is another story.
I have two daughters that I am obligated to. I'm not taking a bullet for a stranger. Nope, not going to do it.
Life isn't a movie. If I die, that stranger is NOT likely to take care of my family so...if that makes me a horrible person than so be it. I'll call you back up, the kind with weapons and training. I'm no hero.

Take a bullet for my girls? Sure, I'd eat one!

Edit: Perhaps when my children are older and self sufficient, I will feel differently :/

a reply to: TNMockingbird

I have two daughters that I am obligated to.

You nailed it. I have a wife and son and I'm responsible for and to them.
That isn't to say I would never get involved in XYZ situation, but in the general sense I'm not going to get in over my head. I will call the police. If there is something more that I can do with a reasonable expectation that I'll be "ok" then by all means.
However, my wife and son expect me to return home each day.

We are all here to help each other the best we can. Put yourself in the place of the person who needs help and then listen to what your conscience tells you.

Sal

a reply to: droid56

originally posted by: DAVID64
I have been and always will be the type that run towards the fire or screams, stops to help someone who is having a seizure, etc. I've never been arrested, attacked, sued or got into any trouble of any kind. I have however, saved the lives of heart attack and car accident victims and gotten people out of harm's way. There is no question of when to help. You help if you can and if you can't or are too afraid to, get out of the way.
And if you're not actively helping, don't stand there and gawk. It's not a free circus, it's someone's life.

Bravo! Others are too afraid of being hurt, arrested or sued to step up.

You do what you can and wait for emergency help to get there dumbasses. Don't do anything that would get you hurt, arrested or sued. You can comfort someone without providing medical care, you can tell someone to 'stop' without getting hurt, and you can call authorities without getting sued.

Good for you David.

a reply to: angeldoll

These "What would you do if........?" questions are difficult to answer because there are a million different possible scenarios and no matter what we tell ourselves, I'm not sure if any of us know exactly what we would do in any number of situations.

I can acknowledge that in most scenarios that come to mind there is SOMETHING that can be done. Maybe it's call the police. If there are other people around, maybe it's possible to rally several people to intervene together.

Even in medical emergencies one has to be careful. Beyond the possibility of getting sued, without medical training (of which I have exactly none) it's more than possible I could make matters worse. I've heard second hand stories over the years about people being involved in a automobile accident and when a good Samaritan tried to extricate someone from their vehicle, then ended up causing MUCH more harm to the person they were trying to help.

a reply to: droid56

If a person is in mortal danger, no question im involved. I don't tend to be one of those "stand around" kind of people, although I get why they do it. But that is why I carry.

But I generally help people. The old lady who can't reach the top shelf at the store. The delivery guy who needs help with the door. I make sure my shopping cart gets returned to one of the stalls, so it won't hit someone's car or make the cart crews lives more difficult.

Its that whole "be the change you want to see" kind of thing.

The reward is the action itself.

originally posted by: droid56
A week ago, I was walking into a mall store, and a man ahead of me collapsed and clearly began to have a seizure. People gathered around him, but nobody did anything, so I asked, should I phone 9/11. Somebody said yes, so I did, and I stayed on my cell phone until the ambulance arrived.

So is there a limit to helping strangers in need? A female is being assaulted by a male? Should we intervene? Maybe he has a gun. Maybe he is a big man and the witness is a small, old male such as me.

In that situation, I would get on my cell phone in a hurry, but I doubt I would have the nerve to confront a clearly superior nasty person.

I have always followed my intuition when to help strangers in distress, but strangers seem to gravitate towards me for some reason and open up to me...for emotional help or just a friendly smile. I have also helped strangers out financially, because it felt to be the right thing to do at the time.

As for a female being assaulted by a male, I am a petite woman, so his rage may be turned to me, so I would definitely call the police.

a reply to: eluryh22

I wouldn't attempt to provide medical care either, but I'm talking about providing comfort, as in "you're be okay, I've called an ambulance, I'm going to stay with you until they get here", and maybe throw a coat over them if outside in the cold. That kind of thing.

I know a man who told me that once when he was with his wife there was an opportunity to help a stranger but he didn't. Years later he couldn't stop thinking about it and felt that his wife looked down upon him for not helping. Eventually they ended up divorced. There is more than one way to lose your family.

Sal

a reply to: TNMockingbird

originally posted by: SallieSunshine
I know a man who told me that once when he was with his wife there was an opportunity to help a stranger but he didn't. Years later he couldn't stop thinking about it and felt that his wife looked down upon him for not helping. Eventually they ended up divorced. There is more than one way to lose your family.

Sal

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Yet, his wife did not step forward to help, so, they both chose to 'do nothing'.

a reply to: angeldoll

Comfort just ain't what I do very well.

Although, when someone is in emotional shock....being present may be as much comfort as they are able to recieve. A hand to hold is easy to provide.

I've had an experience where communication was impossible anyway, so all I could provide was a hand to hold. They didn't die, but it was a rather scary wreck to witness. Im trained in stuff like CPR, but beyond that, nada. Amazingly, in any wreck I've witnessed, there's always someone with training that comes along shortly. Even out here in the sticks where people are more sparse.

The truth about this is that it can be scary for a woman to help a man because she is almost always going to be smaller and weaker...even a small man carries his strength in his arms and shoulders and is closer to being the equal to man in a fight than a woman who is equal size of the man.

Sal

a reply to: InTheLight



Yet, his wife did not step forward to help, so, they both chose to 'do nothing'.