Hello, self, who are you?

a reply to: Profusion

She gave me more advice, and following it will be hard. She told me not to talk about any women on that forum. That includes the women on the forum. She said I sound very creepy and weird when I do that

I'm going to have to agree with this, as that's what I believe makes you sound "creepy" (loosely speaking) and repetitive in most of your threads.

If you go through most (most, not "all".) of your threads, I'm certain that you'll see that at least once, whether in the opener or later on in the comments, you mention that, "I've been contacting the women on these boards..." "I send messages to the women on these boards..." "I've sent messages to -this number- of women..." "Women.. women... women..."

We get it. You want to talk to women. However, repeated so often, it's very off-putting.

I'm sure a lot of the men on these boards want to talk to women. But they don't plaster it in nearly every thread that they create, they don't send random out-of-the-blue messages to every poster they recognise as female. Some might, I don't know, I've only had three random out-of-the-blue messages myself and I also tend to be the person to contact others, and only one of those I received I found disturbing, from a freshly created account that hasn't been logged into since that day.

As to your actual OP,

Anyway, I started posting as myself, and I was surprised. I was thinking, "Who is this warm, kind, friendly person?" The thing is, that's how I am in real life. But, I always post as a persona online and probably have for over 10 years. As I reread the posts I made today on that forum, I thought, "Who is this person?" This is the first chance I've had to see my true self objectively, probably ever. The reason for that is simple, I can compare the difference between what I used to post on that forum and what I post now. It's night and day. It's a completely different person.

I post as close to "myself" as I can manage, and I'm sure most others do the same. (once again, most, not -all-.)

Do you prefer this? Knowing that when you post as "yourself" you're a kind and warm person? Or do you prefer the persona of "I want everyone to dislike me." ?

Does this discovery compel you to post as "yourself" more often? Or do you prefer the game?

a reply to: kaelci

Wow kaelci!! What an excellent analysis and response. I think you nailed every point factually, unemotionally, and with valuable suggestions and some thoughtful questions. Very nice job.

Peace

KD

originally posted by: kaelci
If you go through most (most, not "all".) of your threads, I'm certain that you'll see that at least once, whether in the opener or later on in the comments, you mention that, "I've been contacting the women on these boards..." "I send messages to the women on these boards..." "I've sent messages to -this number- of women..." "Women.. women... women..."

We get it. You want to talk to women. However, repeated so often, it's very off-putting.

I'm sure a lot of the men on these boards want to talk to women. But they don't plaster it in nearly every thread that they create

I use this forum for therapy. Thinking back to the threads I made when I was in a real-life relationship, I don't think I ever mentioned talking with women. The only women I spoke to as friends when I was in my last real-life relationship were my ex-wife and my girlfriend. I had no problems with that, and thus I don't think I ever mentioned speaking with women as a problem until after I broke up with my last real-life girlfriend. Please, put things in context.

The issue of talking to women has come up recently because I'm thinking about it a lot recently. I'm trying to improve in that area, and I'm putting a lot of effort into it. The problems I've had with talking to women all involved technology. None of them were face to face. That's my strength. I do obviously have trouble with communicating through technological means sometimes. The events associated with this thread (and this thread itself) have helped massively. These threads are therapy for me. It's certainly not bragging. How could anyone consider these bizarre situations to have any relation to bragging? I think they make me look weird. But, I have to admit it to get the therapy I want. I'm just stuck in that dilemma.

originally posted by: kaelci
I post as close to "myself" as I can manage, and I'm sure most others do the same. (once again, most, not -all-.)

Do you prefer this? Knowing that when you post as "yourself" you're a kind and warm person? Or do you prefer the persona of "I want everyone to dislike me." ?

Does this discovery compel you to post as "yourself" more often? Or do you prefer the game?

Those issues led to the threads below.

Having a Trashed Username

Advantages of Using a Persona Online

Do you prefer this?

I don't prefer it. As I described in the first thread referenced above, I feel like things are so far gone with this username that there's no point in changing course. In the second thread referenced above you'll see why changing course is probably a suboptimal decision.

Knowing that when you post as "yourself" you're a kind and warm person?

I really appreciate that. I believe the kindness and warmth comes through here, but it's muted. I find this to be such a cold place that I don't think it matters, really.

Does this discovery compel you to post as "yourself" more often?

I'm probably going to do it at every forum I post at except this one. I like that better. It feels a lot better.

Or do you prefer the game?

If you look at the second thread referenced above you'll see why I would want to keep posting with a persona. One huge advantage in relation to using this forum for therapy is the fact that as a persona I can talk about myself openly, easily, and essentially without restrictions. On the other hand, normally I don't like talking about myself in public, and I do it as little as possible. In order to get the best therapy I can here, I believe using the persona is the best option.

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: vethumanbeing

I likely could have worded that a little differently, i did not mean to sound like an ass...(although i do most of the time so why should it be any different this time)...

No taken so (I am not an ass either).