'To be honest': What does the phrase bring to mind?

a reply to: Profusion

I never use those phrases. It would lead me to believe the person using those phrases is not being honest at other times.
But the intention of those phrases is to preface that what will follow is more personal than usual or missing any type of 'sugar coating'.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus not sure either...huh?
on topic, we live in an illusion between lies and truth...completely neutral.
thank you for your reply.

a reply to: reldra Stevia is another form of coating, yet sugar is the best, especially raw and or brown,
great post...makes the best scents. sence...I no longer have auto correct...sorry...
on topic, as long as you are speaking with love in your heart, mind and will...then the words spoken are pure and thats what counts...Namaste

I use such phrases sometimes, and for me, I mean to indicate that what I have to say causes me some discomfort.
I am concerned that it might not be well recieved, and would like the other person to know I am highly aware of the possibility and do not say it simply because I want to make them un comfortable.... but rather, it just seems important to me to continue being honest anyway.

It doesn't mean I am usually dishonest, only that the rest of the time I go about being honest without feeling that doing so might cause problems.

So this is how i understand it when others say that - I assume they are worried they might upset me.

originally posted by: kaelci
Ummm... I always say "honestly" or "to be honest"...
And whenever I do, I am always honest....

But I guess that's for whoever I'm talking to, to ascertain for themselves.

eta:

originally posted by: Bluntone22
So you judge someone's honesty by their use of a figure of speech?

Exactly, it's just a figure of speech.

Same here! It is just a figure of speech. If I say it, it doesn't mean anything else, only that I am being completely honest and nothing more.

originally posted by: Profusion
When I hear the phrase, "to be honest", I know I'm dealing with a liar. I start wondering how much of a liar the person is after that.
I would like to get people's opinions of the following substitute phrases:

"To be completely frank"

"To be completely candid"
I use phrases such as those to indicate that I am being more forthright than usual. Does that make me sound like a liar?

Those phrases are often used to pad out conversations which otherwise
would seem/appear abrupt.

Some years ago i noticed my grandson who is autistic, with echolalic tendencies
was starting every conversation with "and the thing is" which really puzzled me.
Curious as to where he got it from made me listen to others more
carefully, and I found it was something quite meaningless that was said very often
by almost everyone including myself.

It took a while, but I weaned myself from using that expression, not generally
noticed by surprisingly used often

It is a manner of speech that largely, in today's vernacular, indicates that someone is about to dispense with political correctness and pleasantries and dispense with some cold, hard, truth. Something you may not like.

It does appear to indicate that the person is not typically honest. They are stating they are making an exception for some particular reason, given the reception of criticism this may have led to this becoming the figure of speech that is today.

For example, they may be saying, "I am not typically honest and critical, however I feel this needs to be said... "

In other words, it may iindicate that the person would typically lie about the matter at hand, for example: "To be honest, I have had enough of you. Go away."

Truth be told, I would much rather people always be honest with me.