being told i'm wanted to be dead

peppycat

Meh.. I knew a monster once.. he was the very definition of the word. Definition 1.1 in the Oxford Dictionary

Funny thing about monsters is when you know what they are.. can define them.. their power over you is lost.

Sort of like this Grimm Brothers tale: Rumplstiltskin

No one wants to hurt you Peppy..and no one wishes death upon you. As the first poster says..the monster lies.

In my thoughts...
blend57

a reply to: peppycat

Where on earth is this coming from?

You need to get out of that situation asap! You most certainly do not need to die. I think we'd all miss you very much. The world is better with you here.

The monster can go stuff himself.

a reply to: peppycat

Cheer up Peppy. Nobody hates you. I think people may not understand you sometimes, myself included. Like another poster has said on another thread of yours, your writing/typing sometimes seems cryptic or something. Keep your head up!

And like others said, ignore whatever is telling you these things.

what if this person's an atheist and pious allegory is what makes them tick?

a reply to: peppycat

Dearest Peppy - I received your message and I am praying for you. You said this is a very real situation, but I do believe evil can fool us meaning tormenting us through life situations.

Remember you are the one in control and not some evil. The name of Jesus works.

Peppy I am so worried about you - you seem to have been mistreated and taught wrong all your life about men. Some men do think they matter more than women. This is wrong. I can say that and did say that so you could hear it. I know you know this. We are all humans on this planet, some are male and some are female. It's what twisted thoughts have taken hold in certain people that try to destroy others through their supposedly superior sex. When we are born we are male or female but we have no power. We are helpless. When we are laying on our death bed we are male or female and helpless. Unfortunately, the lessons we all learn in between those two phases can make or break not only our own lives but others. And so having said that I want you to concentrate on the points below:
- you are as important as any other human on this earth
- God loves you but has allowed all free will but you can use the name of Jesus to protect yourself. Freewill isn't just a spiritual thing - it's how you can take control over your life. What is holding you there in this home where you are being abused?
- It sounds like you are working very, very hard to earn a decent living but having to struggle even so with feeding yourself, etc
- You do not need to put up with anyone's abuse. I know you only have special friends and so perhaps there isn't a safe place to go to but just leave immediately if you are in danger
- do you have a car? Can you drive just to the nearest McDonald's and sit with other people that you don't know but will give you a feeling of comfort concerning people being nearby?
- is there a Y you could go to? Or a shelter? There is no shame in any of it. People want to help, and you only need help because someone is being dangerous to you. That's why these places exist.
- Is there someone you work with that could help?
-How old are you Peppy? I don't know that you've ever mentioned but it might help us direct you to the right resources. For instance there are lots of organizations that help with elder abuse. I'm not calling you old, just simply saying that there are all sorts of organizations for different ages so they get the correct kind of help

Sorry for going on and on but I am really worried about you. You are such a loving person and this male is taking complete advantage over your loving nature.

If I were near you I'd come and whisk you away and set you up with fresh sheets and a lamp for reading and my dog would give you kisses of comfort. I would make you a fresh stew of vegetable with a thick sauce and fresh made biscuits. I would nurture you and allow you to catch your breath and let you feel what love is supposed to feel like. Let us know how we can help you. We're all here for you. You are more powerful than you think my dear. And just so you know, all of ATS comes against all the ugliness and fear going on in your life. xox

a reply to: ccseagull thank you, I managed to slip out without having to explain where I was going after posting my problem, here on the internet...ATS...so your kind words, prayers did help the situation last night... and yes there are nice folks with non violent pit bulls in town.
They don't even need me to tell them why I was there... they just listened to a grievance of mine concerning a hitchhiking trauma that I escaped by the grace of God from years ago and reminded me that even though it took my friend Mr. James about ten minutes to help me out of a strangers vehicle we were in after I tried to crash the psychos expensive truck to let me out...I actually got out and did not worry about my friend still being with the driver and I have seen my friend and his kid and they are okay too...I had to get this out of my system because hitchhiking in the modern day is just as scary in hillbilly town as it has been in the past...I know there are good people out there in vehicles but I prefer to walk now after my experiences with strange drivers.
So, back to the folks on foot that were kind...i'm sure my friend that looks pretty scary is harmless because he has a broken arm and is in too much pain to be threatening... so he and I hung around for a bit with his other friend and a dog... and I have to help him and his arm as I promised him with medicine and wrappings... now I can freely go into town and see him and some other folks at anytime day or night.
Thank you and the other posters here, too...I just wish to stay out of trouble and conform to appropriate behavior without turning into a robot... or alien, legal or not...I do have proof of citizenship and will find work so I can improve my quality of living... thanks, I have many things to work on and hope to return here one day soon.

a reply to: peppycat

I trust in no religion. As such I can be very honest without fear of reproach.

Your posts make me smile. You add, not take away, from my life. Be well.

a reply to: blend57 you seem to be a person that understands me, I have been thinking of Rumplstiltskin for a very long while and there is a real lesson in what you wrote in your post, that makes very good sence to me. Thank you, one day soon I am going to find a good book to read and then go to sleep at a decent hour and get to wake up and go back to work as soon as my library debt is paid or I make it down to the city and go to a used book store where they don't follow me around and I can shop in peace.
Thank you your post made me feel much better and I will take your advice about knowing a persons name.
I do have native American friends that also understand the power or draining that can occur with the use or non use of ones name and they understand me too...~
I will take a rest and get back to what I must do... taking care of nature under a bridge that has been vandalized and trashed near a river spirit... so that I can set up a spot to put my clay cat figure... its a Japanese statue you put for ancestor work, I learned in pottery... can't recall the name... not just ancestors...people that have passed over into the next world...I'll try to research more about it... it was meant for my dad, and his grave is too far, but I believe spirits travel too.
Thank you, so you know what in'm up to and that in'm okay if I don't log on for awhile..I know some traditions and beliefs are disrespected and also similar on many other cultures and I believe in a common thread to respect and understanding or at least not pushing anything on anyone too much...i'm not a total missionary in strange land or territory...thanks for getting me as much as only you can.
I will miss being here and reading your threads, so glad you are a friend... hope to return and see your work again, when I can study better and make things written more clear and in good English.
Your, pal...RE'BE...b sounds like V...in my pronunciation,
Peppy.

a reply to: Jonjonj thanks I met a fellow with your screen name, he was nice too.

a reply to: peppycat

Us Jons are always nice, we just forget sometimes.

if someone told me they wanted me dead id laugh and tell them to piss off. so quit being weak and chose to be strong.

a reply to: AVoiceOfReason you don't seem to get it that this person has studied dark arts... so I laugh when and after they curse me... with a poisoned arrow I deal with in the feng shui of my home... so, any one from China, please help.
I never ever dissed the reality of this carefully studied medicine and so, I wish you well. Personally I am combating clutter... as I have a hoarding condition with mild OCD....it actually works in my defense, weird as it may be with OBE's trying to annoy me and such... so call me nuts or whatever...
Thanks for your reply, have a great sunshine day...i'm just not a keyboard warrior, I guess...I like air and trees and tending to the yard...
Nice to meet you, have a good day.
Thank you kindly for your advice.... will start pretending to be happy and laughing...or not

a reply to: odzeandennz its okay, as long as their breath does not smell like sulpher, a sign of demonic possession... and very real in the sense that the demon is an expression of their very own soul and not some random thing out of hell... personal experience of a friend of mine that was once atheist and now he battles his own shadow...a long lost brother.
He suffered greatly in this life and didn't know what made him mad or ''tick''...i'm still working on clearing his family lineage, from where this madness started.... cutting ties and clearing connections in shamonic ancestor work..so he can be free of these things that bound his soul and find peace and acceptance over what was taught through the actions and patterns in the family, his immediate family... and atheists can feel safe too, enter holy ground wherever, whenever to be healed from problems with out screaming, ''in the name of the Lord!'' you can use a name of friend of Christ if you have to or say, Lord God Almighty... release this demon and throw salt water on it... when you see the emanations of the smell.
I have never been an atheist myself...without teachings from anyone...I believed in God from a very young age... its the man in the sky in the clouds!

Sorry to hear that peppy cat; you're a nice creative person, if this is an actual person trying to control you. Then simply put they don't have any self control... such people are very insecure and clingy but actually hateful at the same time because of how much they fear losing whomever it is yet they are externalizing a battle they should internalize... because they are projecting onto others as being cause for their problems and pains and sufferings...

Such types of people love latching onto good hearted empathetic decent people, because it is everything they lack, so attaching to someone that has everything they lack they think they somehow are achieving the balance outside that they cant achieve inside but it takes someone else to do it. But then when they cant control you then they get mad an act out, because to begin with they couldn't ever control themselves and expect someone else to do that...

But at the same time you become that persons savior and enemy... you are what they lack but not everything they want you to be either.

It a viscous nasty cycle, getting entangled up with people like that... they'll try to offer every material thing in the world by any means if it means that you'll just be their slave and never abandon them. The only people get as a reprieve is obviously getting away, but since such people say if you do go away they kill everyone and anything you love or hold dear... hateful pos's, pathetic pos's, I can understand why one looks at death in such circumstances... because with such threats hanging over someones head? You're going to be with them until it's you or them.

There were quite a few of those wastes of space decades and decades ago, women being constantly beaten and abused with no help from anyone... many women turned to poisoning these nasty vile men to be able to escape being held hostage their entire lives, and if they have children with them(a common way they try to trap you) it gets even worse... fortunately, things have been changing but it used to be no where to turn... and well if someone is threatening such, to anyone reading this... there are ways out, it's not like it used to be... of course that may depend on where you live...

But womens outreach and other such places are better to call than the police... when police are just randomly shooting people these days empathy and understanding is going to be hit or miss, and if theyve broke no laws or physically attacked then nothing... but womens outreach will make sure you feel safe, they have places to stay someone will escort you to a place safe if you cant get there on your own.

Living in such a manner is like being already dead, coping and surviving one moment to the next... no one should ever have to live under such conditions. Life is beautiful embrace it and those that want to make it ugly leave them in the past. Hopefully theyd wake up and get some damned help, but they don't think anything is wrong with them for the most part... so one can wish or hope all they want, takes individual effort, and I would hope no one would stay in such an environment with such monsters... they aren't scary though they are like that mirror beast in Harry Potter trying to be your worse fear to control you, and in reality they're the same as the magic word to expel them ridiculous.

Now if it's spiritual? Ignore it they are even more pathetic, a freaking house fly is more imposing than any disembodied wanting a body... just tell them to go find a light they find pretty and they'll be gone that you're not the light they need.

a reply to: peppycat

Sociopaths tend to seek validation from complete strangers on the internet, because they can portray their made-up tales without being questioned.

How do we know that you're not the actual "monster," and are simply gaslighting this person you've described?

a reply to: peppycat

For the record, I obviously disagree with some of your opinions and we do cross verbal swords at times, but it is all just interesting debate for me, I can't remember ever thinking I don't like you as a person.

We would probably irritate each other in 'real' life, but you seem a decent person so I would step in if I saw someone being unkind to you, every time. Same in the digital world, just it's easier to click 'alert' lol.

So yeah, certainly with insignificant me, it's all about interesting debate, and I care for you as much as any other human I interact with. I got your back even if I disagree with you about X or Y particular issue in life.

a reply to: LordSatanmy childhood abuse and me being bigger than him and holding back against his attacks, is not on recording so maybe you can work on your own self and not focus on my problems.
Thanks for not helping.
Have a good day.

a reply to: grainofsand thanks, I hold nothing against you and never did or will a..take care.I appreciate your sentiments. And my good other brother would try to do the same in stepping in between the person i've written of in OP..a mean, jealous little brat. He really wants to act like he is the older one in charge of me... and I am sad for him really.
Have a grand day!😂😇😊

a reply to: peppycat

Well I look forward to interesting disagreements with you in future then

Hope your world becomes more chilled soon, and that nobody really actually wishes you dead, just silly angry words in the heat of the moment.

a reply to: peppycat

Wow whoever is being mean to you needs my fist. In their face.

Cause you're like one of the nicest people in the world.

Srsly, whoever that is... is just wrong.

And I for one(but clearly I'm not the only one) am glad you exist in the world with the rest of us, peppycat! I love you.