Can music be 'too feminine' for men?

Ridiculous! No, music cannot be too feminine for a man to listen to. Music moves us in different ways, it doesn't matter which genre. Whatever touches you for whatever reason, is just fine.

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originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: ColeYounger

Just because it doesn't resonate with you emotionally doesn't mean that someone else is a girly-man for listening to that. I get it you think your man card is in check if you have to listen to it, but really it just doesn't appeal to you. You don't have to hate on someone else for liking it though.

Oh God, here we go. Yea, you're right. My masculinity is threatened, so I'm "hating on people".
By your logic, it's OK for a grown man to play with Barbie dolls while listening to Justin Bieber as long as
it "resonates" with him.

a reply to: ColeYounger

Sure why not? If it's fun and the person enjoys it then what's wrong with that? I played with stuffed animals well into my teens. I loved it. Seriously stop hating on what other people enjoy. Just because you don't enjoy it doesn't mean someone else is a sissy for liking it.

It's people like you who peer pressured me into quitting playing the cello in high school instead of sticking with it because I'm musically talented.

a reply to: Profusion

I don't like that 90's style song you posted. However, I do like lana del rey. She can be considered "pop". It's really just up to one's music preferences.

The feminine thing is just from how guys react to everything. It's some deep seated masculinity thats rooted in society.

The reason why men don't cry.

a reply to: Profusion

You know how you can tell when a guy is trying too hard to be manly? Well, the same thing goes for girls. When they're trying too hard and produce that cheesy sappy stuff, like a bad lifetime channel movie, then you know its too far to want to identify with them. (Okay to be attracted to them for it but not identify with them for it.) And yes, the same goes for girls. If there is a girl that wants to be like insane clown posse or something similar then its probably too much.

a reply to: Profusion

Can music be 'too feminine' for men?

Only the ones who are at risk of losing their "manliness" everytime a butterfly flaps its wings.


But for those of you who do live in fear of "the other side", you can all rest easy gentlemen... science tells us that the feminine-girly disease is not contagious.

originally posted by: intrptr
Guys that tell you music is too feminine are bigots. They think women are 'less than', should do what they say cause they are the masters.

I've almost never had that criticism from men. I've had that criticism almost exclusively from women.

I think this thread is fascinating because as far as I can tell, only two women posted in this thread. And, of course, those two women took the side that there's no such thing as music that's "too feminine" for men.

Why?

I don't think any female ATS poster would come into this thread and admit that they believe that there is such a thing as music that's "too feminine" for men. That would be "uncool" and very few posters are willing to look uncool on this website which is a supposed haven for unconventional thinking.

If guest posting were allowed, I would think there would be women willing to admit that they felt that there is such a thing as music that's "too feminine" for men. I have the feeling that no woman here wants to be associated with having that unpopular belief.

This site often seems to be like a high school where people are looking out for their popularity and perceived "coolness" first over almost anything else.

originally posted by: wastedown
It is very hard to put emotion into a vocal delivery in a studio.

This is why I believe that artists who often rely on outside writers to write their songs should not be criticized for a "lack of talent" if they can sing their songs with the right emotion. I don't know why people don't recognize that infusing a song with the right emotion takes talent. In fact, singing songs with the right amount of emotion is enough for me frequently to consider a musician to be talented.

originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight
a reply to: Profusion

Why do you react? I don't expect an answer; from your history you average about 3 threads a day,,,but find it beneath you to ever respond to posters

Your repeated criticisms of my posting style are out of line. I don't mind it because you bump my threads, however.

a reply to: Krazysh0t

Oh, come on, Krazy. What’s this, political correctness in music appreciation?

There is an entire genre of music which no self-respecting male can listen to: sensitive, man-despairing female singer-songwriters. The ones who are all about Women’s Lib but have only one lyrical subject: unsatisfactory men.

Yes, there are some artists working in that field who transcend the genre, just as there are in every genre: I think of Suzanne Vega, Tori Amos and even Alanis Morrisette when she wasn’t hiccuping. But for the most part, that genre of music is targeted at women and most men (rightly) find it unlistenable.

And then, yes, there are the chopslappable hearttrhrobs like Michael Bolt-on and the rest.

And there are boy bands. If you’re not a prepubescent girl or an older gay man, you have no business listening to them. Full stop.

I could go on. It will take a lot more than Bolt-on emoting the piratically significant phrase 'far Tortuga' to get me to change my mind. That was a horrid, horrid, horrid video you posted. O tempora, O auriae!

a reply to: Night Star

Ridiculous! No, music cannot be too feminine for a man to listen to.

Madam, I beg to differ. And how would you know, anyway? Evidently you are not a man.

a reply to: CranialSponge

Only the ones who are at risk of losing their "manliness" everytime a butterfly flaps its wings.

Without going into autobiographical detail, allow me to say that there is ample evidence I don’t fit your stereotype.

There is music for boys and music for girls — just as there is art for boys and art for girls, literature the same, movies the same, games the same, toys the same, everything the same. Guess what? It’s biological. Hardwired.

Yes, there are exceptions; nature’s experiments, the sports of evolution. We should help them in their effort to make their lives as painless and meaningful and ‘normal’ as possible. Yes, we should celebrate what unites us rather than harping on our differences. But we ignore those differences at our peril.

'Push Nature out the door with a pitchfork, and She will climb right back in through the window’ — old German proverb.

I imagine you’ve had enough experience of that in your own life to know what I’m talking about. Does the name James Tiptree, Jr mean anything to you, by the way?

a reply to: ColeYounger

I used to play with dolls all the time with my daughter. And tea parties with stuffed animals and dress up.
I'm guessing in your eyes that makes me a sissy.
In mine, it makes me a good Dad.

a reply to: Profusion

Maybe the reason women didn't post is that the the question isn't really valid. Too feminine? Whats that even mean?

If you had asked are women softer, more feeling, more empathetic, maybe.

Some more prideful ego driven men might think showing emotions is "weak" (like a female, in their minds).

Plenty of guys like classical, and other softer full of feeling music, has nothing to do with being "feminine".

originally posted by: DAVID64
a reply to: ColeYounger

I used to play with dolls all the time with my daughter. And tea parties with stuffed animals and dress up.
I'm guessing in your eyes that makes me a sissy.
In mine, it makes me a good Dad.

Nice.

Of course girls like men with a softer side. In fact girls augment men that way. Its not that one is weaker or stronger than the other, men and women compliment each other, balance each other out.

a reply to: intrptr

Maybe the reason women didn't post is that the the question isn't really valid. Too feminine? Whats that even mean?

If you had asked are women softer, more feeling, more empathetic, maybe.

Some more prideful ego driven men might think showing emotions is "weak" (like a female, in their minds).

Plenty of guys like classical, and other softer full of feeling music, has nothing to do with being "feminine".

Exactly !

You hit the nail on the head.

"Too feminine" ?? As in, what the hell does that even mean ?

And it also comes across as some kind of derogatory term and insulting to females... which is why I answered in the way that I did in my original post.

It's bloody ridiculous to refer to music as "too feminine" or "too masculine". Music does not have a gender bias. That's the beauty of music, it doesn't have any boundaries.

Both my husband and I have an appreciation for all kinds of music genres. Music ranging from Marilyn Manson to Mozart... our tastes have nothing to do with "masculine" or "feminine" and everything to do with tempo, rhythm, vocals, instrumental riffs, etc etc.

Hubby can listen to Pink Floyd one minute and Sarah McLachlan the next.

And I can listen to Motorhead one minute and Loreena McKennitt the next.



"Too feminine"... pfft.

What an asinine way of looking at a piece of art.

a reply to: Astyanax

I still disagree. There are times for all types of music. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that all other men will hate it. Telling me that I'M politically correct with music is just silly. I'm the one telling people there are no barriers to music. You are the one erecting them. Or trying to at least.

Music is music. You use it to augment your emotions and feel something from it. Just because I'm not a woman doesn't mean I can't sympathize with a woman singing about a man who did her wrong.

a reply to: CranialSponge

Your husband is a lucky guy. Tell him for me.

originally posted by: Astyanax
Without going into autobiographical detail, allow me to say that there is ample evidence I don’t fit your stereotype.

So, you are a man?

originally posted by: intrptr
Maybe the reason women didn't post is that the the question isn't really valid. Too feminine? Whats that even mean?

I left the definition of "feminine" open because I'm trying to understand the mindset of the people who would say that music is too "too feminine for men." I was hoping that they would define it for me. Astyanax did a good job of defining what music is "too feminine for men" to him (see below). Since the issue is so subjective, each person who claims that music can be "too feminine for men" probably has their own definition of what that means. That's why I left the definition of "too feminine music for men" open. I wanted to get the definition from those who believe in the concept so I could understand the issue better.

You can see my intention clearly concerning this thread in the title (please note the quotation marks):

Can music be 'too feminine' for men?

originally posted by: Astyanax
There is an entire genre of music which no self-respecting male can listen to: sensitive, man-despairing female singer-songwriters. The ones who are all about Women’s Lib but have only one lyrical subject: unsatisfactory men.

And then, yes, there are the chopslappable hearttrhrobs like Michael Bolt-on and the rest.

And there are boy bands. If you’re not a prepubescent girl or an older gay man, you have no business listening to them. Full stop.

originally posted by: CranialSponge
"Too feminine"... pfft.

What an asinine way of looking at a piece of art.

It doesn't make much sense unless you take the lyrics, sound effects, style of the singing, etc. into account as being part of the music. There are some songs that I really like that make me twinge a little because I feel like they are too feminine for me to be listening to.

The Donnas - 40 Boys in 40 Nights


www.youtube.com...

To me, "40 Boys in 40 Nights" is a great rock song. I believe rock is almost always a masculine medium. But, the concept behind "40 Boys in 40 Nights" is so feminine that it makes me twinge sometimes when I listen to the song.

Britney Spears - Boys


www.youtube.com...

I don't know how anyone can listen to Britney Spears' "Boys" and not think of it as feminine. For that reason, I sometimes twinge when I listen to the song. The relevant question to me is the question posed in this thread, "Is it too feminine for men?" I don't think so. But, there's no question in my mind that it's feminine.

I do think people should listen to whatever they they like, other people be damned. That said, I'm not dating a guy who listens to Kenny G or Enya.

a reply to: intrptr

Your husband is a lucky guy. Tell him for me.

Maybe I'm the lucky one.


My hubby can fix the car, build a backyard deck, and then braid our daughter's hair and paint her toenails...

... whilst listening to a random cd mix of Lynyrd Skynyrd, ACDC, Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra, The Wailin' Jennys, James Taylor, Tracy Chapman, Mazzy Star, and Led Zeppelin.



All in the same day.