Redundancy

OK guys, not a rant as such as I happen to agree with the business decision, much more or a rant of the wife's reaction!

I work for a Global company, last week, i was told by my boss (based in Italy) that he was going to visit the UK and wanted a meeting on Thursday 30th June 2016 at 08:30hrs, I shrug shoulders and say sure, i am at your disposal all day, i have made sure the calender's clear for all that day, call me when its convenient to you, at your leisure so to speak, call me and i will drop anything as i know you are onsite, after all, it is H1 2016 is over so, i think it is strategy / way forward into H2

Bottom Line

Meeting today at 08:50:

Meeting wasn't about H1, performance or anything. The department in HQ was being re-structured and my job, locally was being made redundant.

I have been granted 2 days leave to reflect and consider issues.

This is where the rant begins :-

I took the option of 2 days paid leave to reflect and get my statement together and left the office immediately

Wife is upset when i get home and told her the situation, now the world is falling around her ears and she has to support me!

Process is at least 5 months

Wife, i dont care, this means i have to support you, we will have to rent etc etc

Me, not for at least 5 months, i'll sort it

Wife ...... whatever, i'm not loosing the range or the american fridge (UK based)

So, i have now two problems, work and wife, work i can live with as their comments are, in my opinion true. If i was running a business i would make the same decision. However, the wife's comments at the Zero hour +/- 2 hours was not what i expected

ATS, how would you react? and is her reaction reasonable?

a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

Her reaction is entirely off in my opinion.

In times of stress and difficulty we need support from our spouses not additional conflict. I would call her reaction immature and not based on the logic and compassion that I would expect from my spouse.

a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

We don't know your wife to enable us to make an informed decision, but I would hope for a little bit more support and faith in me being able to find alternative employment within 5 months.

Business is business, but is the re-structure due in any part to the referendum decision?

No, her reaction is unreasonable, but her world is falling apart. It's natural to be upset when your local world order topples. You need to give her some time because there is nothing she, personally, can do about it. And you're not dead. I don't like the attitude that it's okay for you to support her, but it's not okay for her to support you, or the materialism involved, but that's just part of the reaction. You'll very likely get another job and all this will be moot. And if you don't, it just might be time for her to lend a supporting hand. That's kind of what marriage is about.

I'd give it some time. You sound like you have a good attitude. Good luck.

originally posted by: Cobaltic1978
a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

We don't know your wife to enable us to make an informed decision, but I would hope for a little bit more support and faith in me being able to find alternative employment within 5 months.

Business is business, but is the re-structure due in any part to the referendum decision?

Hard to believe after only 7 days, possible though

originally posted by: schuyler
No, her reaction is unreasonable, but her world is falling apart. It's natural to be upset when your local world order topples. You need to give her some time because there is nothing she, personally, can do about it. And you're not dead. I don't like the attitude that it's okay for you to support her, but it's not okay for her to support you, or the materialism involved, but that's just part of the reaction. You'll very likely get another job and all this will be moot. And if you don't, it just might be time for her to lend a supporting hand. That's kind of what marriage is about.

I'd give it some time. You sound like you have a good attitude. Good luck.

Thanks for the response, my world is falling apart never mind hers, i am looking at options to proceed, sh1t happens. It could happen to us all, i know i would support her without question, why even mention it? I would say ......... oh well and probably give a hug, we'll get buy, not her response although she has her own sh1t do deal with, with her sick mom

a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

I have learned that the first thing to say to a man who is losing/lost his job is to say, "I am so sorry Honey, that this is happening to you. Let's have a nice dinner/relax/ go out/let him play the XBOX (whatever it is would make him feel better).
I have learned that the hard way. Talking about arrangements or the future financials can wait.

She is probably scared. I don't personally know her, but since you are married to her, you probably believe she loves you. Youy don't seem to be in panic mode, but she is. Maybe, in this case it would be better to calm her, even if her fears continue or seem unreasonable.

a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

Wow, I can't imagine my wife reacting this way. For better or worse, unless....

Maybe give her five months leave too, if she has a better attitude she can come back.

a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

So this just happened? Just now. You speak as if you are in the present tense, and IN that two day reflection period.

You get home and tell your partner. She, having come to rely upon two salaries as she said " now I have to support you" and now that is not the 'sure thing' it used to be. Right?

I am only supposing here but did it go like this? You had the meeting with Mr. Decision Maker. Your job was one of cow-towing to the boss as I guess from your lead up, you would remarriage your whole daily schedule to meet with him. So you were ready for something.
When it came it was not what you were ready for but still, you were ready for something. You then had the time to reflect and pick up your stuff, all still under the mode of obeying the boss. You did not get outwardly upset but just followed orders. You might also have been in shock.

Then you drive home, with all the anticipations and fears and all and when you get home, you tell your partner. She, with no warning at all goes loop de loop, into shock and goes freek-a-zoidal for a bit.

Again, I see that you say this all took place with in a period of a couple of hours. So, your work life was oriented to taking and I suppose giving orders. You are expected to follow orders at work and I suppose if you give them, to have them followed. Most likely with alacrity.

Do you expect the same kind of work relationship at home? Do you expect that what you have to say will be taken and followed without question as they might be at work? If you and your partner are in a relationship that is authoritarian, where you give the orders, then maybe I can agree with others here, that her reaction is entirely off, as any authoritarian would believe it to be. But if not, if your relationship is mutual, where you share in decision making and supporting the short comings of each other, than I would say cut her some slack, Giver her time and she will get over her 'shock' and then together the two of you can decide on how to go about preparing for this change that has come upon you.

You are upset because she is upset?

Are you letting her be upset for both of you? Are you saying that you, the good employee, are simply bowing out of your job and salary with no feelings at all about how much that sucks, even if you agree with the decision? Doesn't it suck for you too?

I'm just saying, no one likes to be fired, for whatever "good" reason. At the very least, its a hassle and stress to find new work.

Are you saying you feel she has no justification, upon hearing the news that your lives are so radically altered, to freak out a little? Why?

I guess if you took it as a pride-thing that you would smoothly handle it in 5 months (which you might) and a lack of trust on her part, then I can see why you might see her reaction as "inappropriate." You are hearing "I don't trust you to fix this!" However, I would invite you to hear it differently as "I'm scared!" Give her time. Give her assurance. Tell her how you plan to handle getting a new job and how much you appreciate her hard work, too.

If you show you are handling it, putting out your resume, making your plans, going out on interviews, etc., she will be less scared. If you line up another job, then you will relieve her heart. All shall be well.

Good luck finding a new and better job/life - I wish you both the best!

- AB

Thanks for all your responses people of ATS

All were read and digested, seriously, it was nice to see different "unbiased" comments from people that are not in my "bubble".

Noted, we move on

Thanks again

CbG

Your wife might be feeling a bit bad about the way she reacted. At the least she is very worried. Perhaps try reassuring her that you understand and that you need to work together for the future.

Whip up a bit of team spirit

Just one thought. Don't leave it too long before you start looking for new work.

Five months sounds like a long time now but it will be November by the end of that period.

People generally don't leave their jobs in the run-up to Christmas, they're all hanging on for their Christmas bonus. You don't want to have a period of unemployment until things pick up in the New Year if you can avoid it.

a reply to: berenike

thanks for that advice, you're right