What Would You Do if You Moved to a New Town...Only to Have Your 14 Year Old Burgle the Neighbours?

originally posted by: Atsbhct
a reply to: Jefferton

Well I suppose it's not really a contest so much as it was just me telling a story, but if it makes you feel good to "win" ATS today, have at it.

Lol. Just, lol.

a reply to: Jefferton

That's VERY EASILY EXPLAINED BY

the absolutely epidemic proportions of

RAGINGLY INTENSE LEVELS OF RAD (ATTACHMENT DISORDER)

in our culture and evidenced here on ATS day in and day out 24/7/365.

Of course, that view is not alone.

My thoughts: you aren't nosey. You are a typical neighbor (first of all). I am a small town guy, so can give you another small town perspective (i've lived in several). Just to get that outta the way.

The mom and dad are both drug users. The kids may be as well. In my opinion.

The dog being chained....my only 2 solutions to that are to remove the dog from the chain for the owner, and use the chain to beat the owner when they take exception. In my small town, we have an ordinance against chaining/tethering dogs. And Im asshole numero uno at calling people out on it.

Its entirely possible that the kids beg/steal for mom.

a reply to: Atsbhct

I suppose . . . like the old joke . . . about prisoners sitting around telling jokes . . . by the number. I should just post:

"STOCK ANSWER #1"

and be done with it. LOL.

However, being me . . . I'll ramble and blather on as usual.

OF COURSE it is a matter of RAD (Attachment Disorder) of a huge degree and intensity.

Probably THAT goes back generations.

The degree of brain damage--literal physiological brain damage in those kids due to attachment disorder the first 6-8 years of life is probably in the upper 15% and maybe in the upper 5-10%.

That means that the area of their brains having to do with EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS, EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION and the area having to do with MANAGING RELATIONSHIPS--those areas are diminished, blunted, compromised, inadequate.

That means that they likely have great trouble

--managing anger--particularly constructively
--expressing frustration

--dealing with feeling hopeless and trapped
--desperately needing to be loved and being absolutely clumsy to stupid as to how to go about it in a mature way

--desperately needing to feel like they are worth something and having no hope of ever feeling that way
--feeling all gritchy, hurt, bewildered, hopeless, conflicted inside and not knowing a single constructive thing that they could do about it to any lastingly good result.

--managing ANY relationship in a stable, constructive, fruitful, reliably pleasant and enduringly constructive way.
--giving and receiving positive things in relationships predictably and dependably over significant time spans.

--learning from experiences--even horrendously harsh experiences
--managing delayed gratification. They likely would have flunked the marshmallow test in toddler-hood.

etc. etc. etc.

Consequently . . . they strike out in persistently dysfunctional and self-defeating ways . . . blame others . . . wash and repeat.

I don't think there's much of a solution for such kids. Either they will (most likely) end in prison . . . fall into some pseudo family gang type or cult type group

or . . .

miracle of miracles . . . have a miraculous spiritual experience connecting with the One who died for them and get turned around by loving folks who also call Him Lord. But those groups are also under a full court press and assault. So they seem to be fewer and further between.

But some such men's groups and outreach groups do rescue thousands of such kids every year. Even in small towns, in some cases.

Great narrative. Thanks.

You captured many thousands of stories all around the world and particularly in the USA very well.

originally posted by: BO XIAN
a reply to: Mandroid7

The oligarchy knows that such horrendously RAD afflicted individuals are so brain damaged that they will LIKELY never amount to anything constructive over the whole of their lives. It tends to consider them . . . human garbage only good for . . . dumping.

There are exceptions and tons of work with professional help CAN turn individuals around dramatically. But the person must want to change etc. etc. etc.

It would not surprise me if drugs etc. were involved.

HOWEVER,

DISCIPLINE

WITHOUT

SUFFICIENT EMOTIONALLY BONDED LOVE, HEALTHY AFFECTION, AFFIRMATIONS OF WORTH

WILL VIRTUALLY ALWAYS

RESULT IN REBELLION AND MORE REBELLION.

Certainly those kids need to be in an environment long term that has very strict limits etc. etc. but also caring adults etc. etc.

Not likely.

More likely, the kids will end up in prison and the beat will go on.

I agree with your stance, you bring some good insight to relationship issues, I enjoy reading your posts.

I have an extremely jaded stance on meth users. One close to me at the time , did some serious damage to me as he tried to kill me.

I have help pull people from the lifestyle, but it was early on in their addictions.

The rewiring of the brain is the scary part of the drug, it essentially turns people into zombies.

The only use for emotion is to manipulate others at that point.

"But, your my Mother don't you love me?"

It is very sad.

Addiction is no joke, especially when it's family involved.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
My thoughts: you aren't nosey. You are a typical neighbor (first of all). I am a small town guy, so can give you another small town perspective (i've lived in several). Just to get that outta the way.

The mom and dad are both drug users. The kids may be as well. In my opinion.

The dog being chained....my only 2 solutions to that are to remove the dog from the chain for the owner, and use the chain to beat the owner when they take exception. In my small town, we have an ordinance against chaining/tethering dogs. And Im asshole numero uno at calling people out on it.

Its entirely possible that the kids beg/steal for mom.

HIGHLY LIKELY.

Very highly likely.

Love your . . . uhhhhh . . . old Western justice mentality. LOL.

Sigh.

The social constructs in our culture were shredded long ago. The communities out West where we are used to police themselves rather effectively.

That doesn't happen any more in much of any way--much less any EFFECTIVE way.

a reply to: BO XIAN

I decided about 15 years ago that the best course of action was to ask forgiveness, not permission.

I also figured out a long time ago that just being bigger than someone typically keeps tempers under control.

BUt dogs are better than people 99% of the time (and half the time they are smarter). No way Im gonna let a dog live a life watching the world from a chain if I can help. You can call it theft, you can call it dog napping. But i have no problem defending a dog if he needs it. They'll do the same for you.

originally posted by: Mandroid7

I agree with your stance, you bring some good insight to relationship issues, I enjoy reading your posts.

I have an extremely jaded stance on meth users. One close to me at the time , did some serious damage to me as he tried to kill me.

I have help pull people from the lifestyle, but it was early on in their addictions.

The rewiring of the brain is the scary part of the drug, it essentially turns people into zombies.

The only use for emotion is to manipulate others at that point.

"But, your my Mother don't you love me?"

It is very sad.

Addiction is no joke, especially when it's family involved.

THANKS MUCH for your kind words. I just try. I can only do what I can do but I feel compelled to try. I hate to see folks hurting unnecessarily.

I agree about the drugs.

My adopted sister was on and off drugs & in and out of jail/prison from the age of 12. Very bright, musically gifted, etc. etc. etc. Died of an OD at 40 less than 100 feet from where I sit--but while I was in Asia.

The folks virtually never took sufficient responsibility nor followed through sufficiently on any plan of action to deal effectively with her. Mother once said: "We were too hard on you and too easy on her."

That was true but insufficient an explanation.

Not only was there early life RAD, there was my mother's own craziness and irrationality . . . and the DAMNED IF YOU DO AND DAMNED IF YOU DON'T way of relating to her kids. And both she and dad were alternately ENABLING with wide swings to harsh retaliations--often over surface stuff, the next minute or day.

Anyway--thanks for your apt insights.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Well put.

Could you be my neighbor, please?

LOL.

What an upside-down world this has become.

a reply to: Istaywoke77

imho,

WHEN the behavior of others is rubbed harshly in one's face repeatedly . . . particularly the whole neighborhood

there's no

"being nosey" involved.

One would have to be brain dead and comatose to avoid responding.

And . . . imho, it would be irresponsible to avoid responding in some constructive way.

As to nosey . . . the evidence is all over the neighborhood, the sidewalk, neighbor's homes etc.

It is not as though the family kept their craziness and criminalities in their closets remotely successfully!

It sounds like to me the mother is probably a nutcase and the man didn't know what he was getting into until after they'd had kids. The kids (being half nutcase) were probably nearly as bad and the man finally had enough and left.

After that, they probably had a certain amount of residual income as things fell apart around them. Most likely the crime spree was just their natural sociopathy doing it's thing as they started running out of necessities. Finally, money runs out and they have no way to pay the bills so they leave and go god knows where.

It's possible the man was the nutcase or that the parents were both a little wonky but who knows?

Maybe they are gangsters in the Witness Protection Program ?

Sal

a reply to: Atsbhct

Last I knew, because of a neighbor actually. Is that CPS doesn't talk accords state lines. So, if that family left to start over and got worried there may be repercussions... They just moved away again

originally posted by: Atsbhct
a reply to: Jefferton

No one here is a very nosy neighbour. It's just impossible to not see. They attempted to rob my own house, so I'm not really feeling too guilty about writing an anonymous post about why people might decide to up and move after an event like this.

It's a great story and a great question
You also have a right to be nosy, someone has to keep an eye on the children for their safety as well as your own
I think you have a right for concern

You have to be careful what you do these dayds as a parent. I thought your post was going to be about this recent story lol.

Louisiana Mother Arrested for Whipping Sons Who Burglarized Home

insider.foxnews.com...

A Louisiana mother was jailed for whipping her three sons with an electrical cord after learning that they robbed items from a neighbor's house.

30-year-old Schaquana Spears is now grief-stricken after her six kids were taken away and sent to live with their grandmother until Spears goes through the legal process.

Spears said that her children, ages 2-13, mean everything to her and she only wanted to show them what they did was wrong. She also said she punished her kids the way her own mother taught her.

So what the hell can you do? In my day My mom would have whipped me, my dad would have whipped me, the neighbors i robbed would have got a lick or 2 in, My dad would have let my sisters get a couple whacks in.

a reply to: Atsbhct

Judging by your use of the Word "Animal shelter", we tend to say RSPCA I would suspect you are in the state's but see you like to keep your locality private, given that I can not really judge but have suffered similar in the UK and we call it anti social behaviour.

Given your Probably location these young men if they are indeed behind the burglaries are putting there own lives at risk as well as making other's live a misery and there must be some kind of injunction or order that the local authority can have placed on them.

Sad but true this is all too common especially in broken home's, the mother may have had a nervous break down or maybe the father or at least step father left because of this or of course he could be in prison which from the sound of it is not too unlikely.

All you can really do is get together with the other neighbours and make a petition to your authority concerning there nuisance behaviour but I really don't know how it work's were you are.

I wish you the best though and sympathise, I actually feel sorry for these kid's too, wasted lives and bad parenting that will result in them likely suffering and causing other's to suffer for the rest of there lives but of course anything can happen and they are only young at the moment's so let's pray they recieve the help they need, social services or otherwise.

Also she may be a good mother just with two out of control kid's and a broken relationship so passing judgement on her because of them is really wrong on my part but it is the most likely scenario.

The best and only option available then to you is to remain vigilant and to make certain your property is locked up when no one is at home, an alarm with a visible exterior alarm box, anti climb paint on any easy to climb first floor veranda's or area's of access and secure window screen's or toughened glass and extra lock's may be your only option, also a neighbourhood watch would not go down bad but remember not to blame them automatically as there may be other's culprit's about though it is easy and tempting to blame the most likely culprits whom you know automatically even without proof but it is not correct to do so until proven to be the case, it does sound like they are out of control though and there is a need for social services to get involved especially if there mother can not cope.

Sounds like meph, honestly.
They probably got arrested for the manufacture of meph when the police searched their home.

m.youtube.com...

The story reminds me of this video.

And yes, I'm spelling it wrong on purpose.

originally posted by: Atsbhct
a reply to: Jefferton

They attempted to rob my own house

So. Why didn't you kill 'em? Are you a ...? well ... you know.

Check the local (county) tax records to see who owns the house, they should be available online. google search
"SDAT (name of state)" you should be able to find a link to the property tax records for your state and county.
They could be in the witness protection program.

It bears mentioning....this family sounds like the Glossners: