A Change of Heart for no good reason

Like a lot of other people, I never stop trying to learn about myself and what makes me tick. While we are all are own worst critics, we also can't always see ourselves clearly. Something along these lines happened last night. The specific scenario isn't all that important, but the question it made me raise is (at least, to me).

I'm what you might call a "drive-by soccer fan." I never played or watched growing up. It wasn't until we signed up our son for soccer that I started to watch some of the more significant games (World Cup, etc). I mostly wanted to get a general understanding of the game. I do admit that while I still am only a "drive-by fan," I really do enjoy watching the international tournaments.

So, there's Messi. I've watched him here and there over the past few years and although of course I've never met the guy, he always sort of "struck me" as a nice guy. Talented, for sure. Although I couldn't say I'm a fan, I could say with sincerity that I liked the guy and unless he was going up against one of "my" teams (U.S.A., Belgium, Chile, England) I always wanted him to do well.

Until last night...

If it's a match between Argentina and Chile, I want Chile to win. Hands down. However, provided Chile would be winning, I would have still liked to see Messi do well. In fact, prior to last night, I sort of told myself that if Chile lost because Messi was running around being awesome, I could live with that. (Easy for me to say because, again, I'm not a huge soccer fan AND the US had already been eliminated).

I had the pregame coverage on while my wife and I were straightening up the house. We weren't glued to the screen but all we seemed to hear was Messi is wonderful about this, Messi is so fantastic about that. Messi, Messi, MESSI! My wife actually joked that we shouldn't be surprised if they cgi in a halo over him during the game.

Here is where I'm going with this.... By the time the match got started, I couldn't STAND Messi. I actually was overjoyed when he sent that penalty kick flying over the cross bar. I was reveling in his defeat.

The thing that bothered me on my way to work this morning was "Why?" Why did I go from liking the guy to disliking him? He hadn't done ANYTHING. For goodness sake, he didn't even get on the pitch when I started to "can't stand" him.

It bothered me because I started to wonder how that happened. It bothered me because it is making me wonder what other things/people do I "can't stand" because of other people. In Messi's case it was hearing the commentators go on and on and on. Whatever the psychological term for my little transition last night, how else has it affected me in ways that I'm just not seeing? Or, is this an isolated incident?

That being said, I'm no saint. There are plenty of people and things I can't stand for good reason. But Messi? Why?

Hopefully I was able to convey what I was trying to.

So whats really bothering you?

originally posted by: intrptr

So whats really bothering you?

I didn't think I got that out right.

I guess if you boil it down to brass tacks...

I liked person A

Then, after hearing persons, B, C, D and E praise person A over and over and over. For some reason, because of this, I couldn't stand person A.

Why? Person A didn't do anything to cause this change.

The example was about a soccer player which has no significance in my life. But what I wonder is... is this same cause-and-affect happening in my life in other circumstances that I'm not aware of? Possibly in more significant ways?

Does that make any more sense?

The more I watch Football, particularly England games, I have taught myself to expect the unexpected. I could see Iceland getting a result, and the way England were playing, they could play all night and not get a second goal.

Fair play little EEA country!

Although I appreciate this is about Messi, and not the woeful England team.

Anyone with too much talent eventually gets on your nerves.

a reply to: eluryh22

Maybe you're just a contrarian that hates popular things

a reply to: Cobaltic1978

Anyone with too much talent eventually gets on your nerves.

In general, I agree with this. But Messi wasn't even playing at the time.

I can't watch the European games over hear. Sorry England sucks but I believe my Belgians are still hanging in there....?

originally posted by: BelowLowAnnouncement
a reply to: eluryh22

Maybe you're just a contrarian that hates popular things

Sometimes... I resemble that remark.

a reply to: eluryh22

Maybe it is envy. I don't mind complimenting you if you long for it.

Good read.

a reply to: eluryh22

John Madden did the same thing to me when he used to go on and on about Troy Aikman. I was like, dude, are you secretly in love with this guy?

a reply to: eluryh22

The easy answer is jealousy or envy. How dare anyone be so worth all that praise from all those people.

originally posted by: TheTory
a reply to: eluryh22

Maybe it is envy. I don't mind complimenting you if you long for it.

Good read.

Oh, I'm no stranger to envy. Hell, I've been straight out jealous here and there over the years. Not the "paranoid husband" jealous but I've seen some people's professional accomplishments and some of the things that allows them to do and I've been jealous.

However, I did learn over the years to use jealousy as a tool. When I would see someone who did or had something that I wanted too, I wouldn't just hate them. I would use that as a reminder to examine what I'm doing and what I can do differently or better to get myself there. It's served me well thus far.

Also, if "I don't mind complimenting you if your long for it" followed by "good read" was an intened pun..... I LOVE it. Hahaha!

originally posted by: Metallicus
a reply to: eluryh22

John Madden did the same thing to me when he used to go on and on about Troy Aikman. I was like, dude, are you secretly in love with this guy?

Assuming you liked Aikman to begin with.... did it make you no longer like the guy?

That's what bugged me. I should have been able to distinguish between the fanboys and the player himself.

a reply to: eluryh22
When the Athenians were voting whether to ostracise Aristides the Just (i.e. send him into exile), an illiterate voter asked a stranger to write the man's name on the voting shell.
The stranger (who happened to be Aristides himself) obliged him. As he was doing so, he asked the voter "Do you know this man? Why do you want to send him away?"
The voter replied "No, I don't know him. I'm just sick and tired of hearing everybody calling him Aristides the Just".

It seems to be an old story.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: eluryh22

The easy answer is jealousy or envy. How dare anyone be so worth all that praise from all those people.

Maybe, but in the few years I've been paying attention to soccer, there has been no shortage of praise. I, myself have said over the years the guy was simply born to play this game.

a reply to: intrptr

He recognized that he's been had by the media.

a reply to: DISRAELI

That is amazing. I never heard of that one before.

a reply to: eluryh22

While we are all are own worst critics

I think SOME of us are our own worst critics. Others, maybe not so.

I am familiar with this thought of 'just how did I get like that". What made me think that? I don't know as most of us know how we got to be how we are in the first place. We take it axiomatically, 'this is how I am' and over time just more of the same.

But I think that much of how we are is an accumulation of influences throughout our lives that keep adding up and adding up until we notice all of them together and call it "me". And that 'me' can continue to not only grow, but change as those 'outside' interests continue to play upon us morphing who we are sometimes without our even knowing.

One time I had just had a conversation with an old friend about human behavior patterns and habits and how we follow them without much thought. After the conversation I was taking a shower and realized that I always rotated clockwise while showering. So just for #s and giggles I finished out that shower turning counter-clockwise. It was difficult to do, it felt so awkward, so unfamiliar. Anyway, when I was out and sitting on my bed putting on my shoes and socks, something felt weird, as weird as had turning counterclockwise in the shower. And then it dawned on me that I was putting on my right sock first and my left sock second, and that I had always done it opposite with left sock first and right sock second before. By breaking that cycle in the shower I some how had broken my old habit of what order I put my shoes on.

Yeah, we are far more complex than most of us are willing to admit.

originally posted by: eluryh22

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: eluryh22

The easy answer is jealousy or envy. How dare anyone be so worth all that praise from all those people.

Maybe, but in the few years I've been paying attention to soccer, there has been no shortage of praise. I, myself have said over the years the guy was simply born to play this game.

Let me try to explain it this way:

I am a Big12 Football Fan here in the states. That means I went through the four years of RGIII at Baylor. Now, I like Robert Griffin III. He has always seemed like a decent guy with his head more or less screwed on straight and he was all kinds of talented and fun to watch ... when he wasn't carving up your own team that is.

However, when you were watching him on TV play against your team, the announcers tended to fall into an RGIII love fest no matter what all else might be going on. It was very easy to start wishing the man would pop an ankle or something and miss the rest of the game, but even then, you knew they'd keep showing him sitting there all dejected on the sidelines and talk about it all game.

It was like you clicked over to watch RGIII and nothing else, and I realized my frustration wasn't with him, but with the announcers and crew who couldn't focus on the game which is what I really wanted to see.

So, I turned on my alma's radio crew who still praised RGIII ... when he was doing something involved with the play and who spent most of their time actually talking about the action on the field. No one in the Big does color and analysis like Wyatt and Stan! Now if only I could get rid of the 3-second delay between what they say and what happens on screen ... It's like knowing the future.

a reply to: eluryh22

Nice well thought out question. I did not get to hear the pre-game as the bar had a baseball game on. But I'm just guessing all the "Messi is god" talk (they do the same to Reynaldo, Serena, etc) that made you feel dirty. It is like, "Marry the guy if you love him so much already!"

Part of it is also the "under dog" sympathy. I openly laughed when he shot it over--my bad. All apologies Senior Messi. It is a cruel world out here and we take our little victories where we can.

But to retire because you can't win? So much with "it is how you play the game" platitude. I guess it is now, "If you deserve it and don't win, f# 'em all". Which is just as good of a reason to not like the guy now as having a change of heart.

Try and notice whether this sudden dislike 'sticks'. It might be you were just in a pissy mood, and your opinion/feelings about him might change back to what it was at a later time. Maybe what you really didn't like was straightening up the house, and you put that feeling off on him, or associated it with him.

When I'm in a bad, bad mood, I don't like much of anything. Thank goodness it passes.