Am I wrong about this?

a reply to: YachiruKusajishi

Yo mumma, most excellent!!

a reply to: YachiruKusajishi

It seems I'm a bit late to the party, so I'll leave the two cents at the door:

The condition you said (about not letting him go to her house where the two of them were alone), was the same condition my ex-gf placed on me. And no, I didn't leave her because of that, but it was a contributing factor.

Anyway, as a guy with many female friends (in fact, one is my best friend as well), I don't quite see anything wrong with him going. Let's say you hated horror movies, and he wanted to go over her house to watch them because he knew you hated horror films. I don't know what kind of guy's you're dealing with, but in my case, I'm a one-person man. I'm completely comfortable being alone with a female friend, and knowing full well nothing will happen. In a relationship, everyone else is no-touch. At the time, I wasn't even happy with my then girlfriend - I could have started something plenty of times...but, I won't.

That said, I do find the choice of day that he wants to go over there a tad bit suspicious - Seeing as he's a father, he probably should be at home with the kids. I know my dad was.

-fossilera

PS: If I seem a bit biased in my decision, it's because of that particular EX. You sound a lot more lenient, as I wasn't even able to go out to eat with my female friends (couldn't even give them a friendly hug in public without getting daggers thrown my way; we were all band geeks in high school, so regardless of whether it's a guy or girl, we all greet each other with a hug).

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

I wouldn't call it a "policy", just a demonstrable preference. And there are always exceptions that prove the rule. I really, really enjoy the company of some women, but like me, they tend to be at the rougher end of the scale, earthy shall we say, rather than earth mothery. The point I was trying to demonstrate was that there are plenty of women and men, who are quite capable of having a platonic relationship because they treat each other as people, rather than representatives of the opposite gender. There is, as far as I can tell, no shortage of wonderful and interesting people in the world, I can't, nor want to, share time and space with all of them, so given that abundance I can choose those whom I respect and who respect me. I don't see any reason to "settle" for less than that. I am also a single working parent, being Mum and Dad all at the same time is lonely and difficult, but I do it very well, as such I make it look easy. There will always be those who think because I don't "have a man", I must need one, or as often, who because I am "nice" will put upon me and take without reciprocating the little energy that I have to spare. So, given the abundance of really nice people, I can afford to be choosy with the little let loose time that I get and I can avoid any unnecessary parasitism.

I'm a man and obviously don't speak for all men, but the day you marry, is the day your relationship with all other women changes. You don't get to hang out alone with other women anymore. I had a female best buddy. We almost did everything together for a while, but as soon as she started seeing someone, we only hang out in groups and I won't even think of hanging out with her alone ...any place. I'm married now and I won't even think of spending father's day without my family. Having said that, I'll get a bit p!ssed off if my wife don't fully trust me, but I'll hate it if she wants to hang out with anyone else on Mother's Day. You'll have to discuss it properly sometime and keep emotions out of the discussion. My wife and I don't always see eye to eye and it is dofficult for her to except that, although I don't always agree with her take on things, I can live with it. Spouses don't have to agree on everything, or like what the other does all the time. If I don't like something that my wife does, I tell her, but don't get angry at her when she decides to do it anyway. We all need our freedom of choice. Your husband needs to accept that you don't like it and you need to except that you don't have to like everything he does.

a reply to: Anaana

It can take awhile for that comfortble balance and im glad you found it. Friends are flowers in lifes garden and we choose those and plant them.

Im not a fan of insecure cis males wondering does this make manly? 24/7.

I dont mind the effimenate males as friends gay, bi, or trans... the bears um not so much because not interested but flattered.

But thats my personal balance.

I would never put Mrs spacedoubt in this position.

Having female friends is ok, perhaps I would offer to pick her up and bring her to our place for lunch.

I can't see myself wanting to keep friends from the Mrs, I would want them to get to know each other and get along.

The intent behind his request portrays being open, I suspect to cover up for a dishonesty.

a reply to: YachiruKusajishi


How did Father's Day turn out...?

a reply to: Anaana

I wholly agree, when I meet someone out in public I'm not thinking the gender of them but their character or self that they are presenting. I'm not attracted to men so their character can be gregarious or off putting, the same with women but if it isn't off putting and of course if the dialog turns into one of mutual interests then that hmm wonder what their situation is? Does cross the mind... but that would be a blunt thing to ask and unless intoxicated likely wouldn't; and instead get to know them over a period of time being a friends first sort of individual... I don't care for the drunk diving policy of head first and see what happens, as I've taken that route a few times and rarely the behavior leading up to such a thing occurring was actual looking but simply myself or them coping in some manner.