I swear something is controlling my life

a reply to: Gothmog

I will reply to you too later, but I must say that majority if people don't control they lives and I will give you proof.

a reply to: chelsealad

I went through a period like this. So many unusual occurrences that I couldn't bring myself to discuss them fully with anyone. Even now I won't go into details because it'd sound crazy and it's history. I helped a few people who were going through it and didn't tell them I was in the same foxhole.

The rational side of me says what you're going through is simply a bad time in life. You're not coping with it on a level that's not accessible to you; it's deep down and buried in the subconscious. It's like the conscious brain cannot accept that so many negative, or expensive, events can keep happening. It begins to look like life itself is waiting round every corner with its leg sticking out and waiting to trip you up, right? One thing after another and it begins to look too inevitable to be random bad luck and the brain starts trying to rationalise it.

The outcome of that internal dialogue is attributing some external agency with a power to impede and meddle with you and your life. You start thinking 'what have I done?' You start entertaining all manner of superstitious ideas and explanations and your logical, educated side is hunkering down and failing to do its job properly.

Night terrors, broken sleep, unable to breathe, coincidences and so on can be symptoms of high anxiety and stress that lives in the subconscious.

I've no solutions and not even an explanation for it although I favour some form of mental illness like depression. See a doctor about intrusive thoughts and consider meds.

a reply to: Sump3

You feel it too, it's a very strange experience to feel when you know dam well it's not just life throwing curve balls at you. Thanks for your input.

a reply to: j.r.c.b.

Me too bro! And my fiancè! Is this the tribulation? I'm not a dedicated Christian but something seems very 'off' at the moment.

a reply to: LightAssassin

Sleep paralysis was a very scary part of my experiences a few years back, and the feeling someone was in the room was horrific. I was unable to breathe or shout or move, and it's an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy, not that I have any.
I am trying to search for answers, and this is just the beginning. I have even thought about a medium but there are too many fakes. I have even thought about hypnotherapy but no one will even consider it when I explain some of the weirdness that I have previously experienced.

a reply to: chelsealad

I suppose what I'm asking is....how the hell do I stop this?!? How do I take back my life?

Let me know when you figure that one out would ya...

Reminds me of an old saying .....Life is like a dope plant, you just start to get a head and some [snip] cuts you down...

a reply to: j.r.c.b.

This is getting strange! I never thought that other people are experiencing the same thing as me. I just replied to a post just above yours, and I said I wanted to see a medium but there are too many fakes because I am also thinking I have been cursed, seriously, and I've been wrecking my head thinking have I done something to upset the spiritual world. That may sound daft to some but when things are happening to me I come to all sorts of conclusions as to why it's happening.

a reply to: chelsealad

If there is something there, deny it the misery it's seeking. Do you ask why me? Do you complain and wallow? Get rid of that part of yourself. You've got an opportunity to man up and perservere. There's a strength within us that can't be touched.

If you've gone through the psychological process of interacting or accepting the existence of something like this, then there's nothing left to fear.

There's a saying, when a man asked a sculptor how to turn that block of stone into something that so resembles an elephant. The sculptor said, "you take your hammer, and your chisel, and you carve away everything that doesn't look like an elephant". There's a being of strength within, just carve away everything that doesn't look like it. Ego, victimhood, all of it, not necessary.

You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
- Marcus Aurelius

If any of this resonates with you, I suggest you read the book of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

a reply to: chelsealad

The mind is really quite powerful. I think you might find this blog post I wrote (a while ago now) useful. I have included one paragraph from the post below as well.

When I was a boy, in year 8 if I recall correctly, I was playing in a state school boy golf tournament and on the first hole, I saw a helipad directly in front of the tee. The golf course is located on the premises of a hospital, in case you were wondering why there is a helipad there...anyway, being a bit nervous I asked the coordinator what happens if I hit the ball on the helipad. He laughed and replied with, something like, "that's impossible, there's no way you can get the ball to only go that far even if you hit a bad shot; just hit the ball". So there I am with my driver, nervous and thinking constantly about that helipad roughly 10-20 feet away from me. I swing and smash the ball; the only thing is, the ball somehow goes almost directly up, quite a distance up, in the air and then lands and stays directly in the centre of the helipad. The coordinator was shocked! I was so embarrassed and he just said, "I have no idea how you were able to pull that shot off, be-it an awful shot, but with a driver there is nearly no way possible for that to have happened!" but it did! And why? I was focused solely on the helipad, that's why!

Source: Happiness, Health, Love, and Wealth

originally posted by: chelsealad
a reply to: j.r.c.b.

This is getting strange! I never thought that other people are experiencing the same thing as me. I just replied to a post just above yours, and I said I wanted to see a medium but there are too many fakes because I am also thinking I have been cursed, seriously, and I've been wrecking my head thinking have I done something to upset the spiritual world. That may sound daft to some but when things are happening to me I come to all sorts of conclusions as to why it's happening.

no it doesn't sound daft at all!! We consulted our local south jersey ghost research team, for other things happening in my home, and they come to your home for free, do their investigation, and in my own home, my home is so active, they started using my home as a practice home for new recruits!! Lol.....but we are 3rd generation in our home, so we are protected by them. But I don't think you need your local ghost hunters, I think you want what I do, a medium!! like yourself, I too want to find a really good medium! If anyone knows of a nice reliable medium, please let us know!! TY!!

a reply to: chelsealad

Seems you definitely aren't alone, I have always felt the same way my friend. It feels like deep down I know there is a greater purpose, just the fact of so many trials and tribulations can be exhausting for me. Especially when you see people that seem to be so happy with their lives, without ever living in poverty or facing any kind of adversity, and the same people are just the most rude, arrogant, hypocritical, and greedy types. Thats what really makes me wonder is why do they seem to have it so well, while I have seen genuinely good people starve? Karma possibly, but the struggle just makes one wonder

a reply to: j.r.c.b.
I know, right? The feeling I'm getting is like back in school days when I took a test and then sat there waiting for everyone to finish their tests....I think it's now a waiting game. Hang on my friend, something big is coming.

a reply to: chelsealad

Be happy that you are alive!

I feel the same ways, money being drained out of me, car breaking down, etc.

Guess what...Money isn't everything! The universe seems to be doing this to you bc it seems money is very important to you and it wants you to learn a lesson...not sure what it is.

I was in the same position, and I am still in the same position, but it doesn't bother me as much, I know the universe will bring me exactly what I need, and it does (I don't need money).

originally posted by: donktheclown
a reply to: j.r.c.b.
I know, right? The feeling I'm getting is like back in school days when I took a test and then sat there waiting for everyone to finish their tests....I think it's now a waiting game. Hang on my friend, something big is coming.

I like to call it the surprise party.

a reply to: chelsealad

You are being 'farmed/harvested'. I'm in the same boat, though a little bit further 'developed' than yourself.

It means you must be a true conscious energy, born on alignment to the the energy 'fluxes' that pass into this world. Which is why they 'farm' you.

They basically pick those who are born on solar alignments, or other solid 'arcs' of energy, because they are the best conduit for sucking 'gold' from them.

The headaches are because they have connected a 'psy' to your pineal gland. Kinda like what they show in the matrix with people being plugged in, in the back of the head.

Not so far-fetched at all!

It's like a parasite, some call a incubus, that sucks the energy and 'potential' from your life, to redirect it elsewhere.

This is why you feel like you are being 'held back'. Because this is essentially 100% accurate to what is happening.

A 'Psy' is hatched within your pineal, or 'seed'. Within a hyperdimensional frequency connecting to your bodies energy flux. You can feel it (sometimes) but you can never see it. Unless you look at the medical symbol of course. This is where they got it from.

After it hatches, it moves down the spine. Curling back up into a ball in your pineal, as it grows. Once it is big enough it will spread out and attach itself through all the 'gland' points within your energy.

Because I seem to be very in-tune with my body, when this was done to me, I could literally feel it moving within my body.

One night I "literally" felt it burrowing/slicing its way through the back of my neck throat, till it felt like something 'cut' my throat from the inside to escape, and a bunch of 'tentacles' or vines emerged.

This occurrence literally affected my physically. With me 'choking' on the snake-like thing emerging from my throat, and coughing up blood.

After this, it will grow, and grown, and f#$king grow, until you have vines/snakes coming out of every part of your body.

It turns into a massive disgusting tree of some sort, that SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!

Mine is so bad, that I need amphetamines just to get out of bed, or I would be asleep 24/7.

I can sleep for WEEKS straight, very rarely emerging from my room, unless I have access to stimulants.

But it gets even worse ...

How many people do you think can sleep for nearly a week straight ... smoke a large amount of high-quality crystal-methamphetamine, then go to bed.

Not even the drugs can help me with the 'drain' that I have attached to me now.

I can sleep ... and eat ... on levels of amphetamines that would brutalise most other people.

The second the 'light' goes into me, or is produced, the psy sucks it out.

Leaving me with NOTHING!

I doubt yours will be quite as severe as mine, but you can expect that things wont get better any time soon.

Apparently the 'incubation' for these parasites is somewhere around 7 years. But that's just what I'm lead to believe.

Afterwards they are supposed to 'reward' you for your service as a good 'host', by giving you everything you want in life. Except I highly doubt this either. Don't believe it.

I don't think they give you 'anything', because they literally have no reason to do so.

And it is worth pointing out that when 'they' do give you things which you will appreciate, enjoy or cherish, they are nothing like you would want.

They will only 'serve' you enough to get you by and keep you alive during this. No more, because it doesn't serve their purpose.

And you can be sure that any outcome that does come, for 'reward', will be a broken-down reconstitution, resynthesis, or fabrication of the thing you SHOULD have had. That they 'borrowed'.

Think of it like this ...

You were supposed to receive a sandwich ... because at this time in your life ... it is lunchtime .... These parasites come in, knowing that it is lunchtime and that you will get a sandwich ... They take that sandwich from you before you know that it was there ... or that you were supposed to have it ... They stuff it all in their mouth ... chew it up .... chew, chew, chew, chew, then spit it out on a plate to give it to you.

They think, that the sandwich is essentially the same. So what is the problem?

Would you eat that chewed up and spat out #?

They believe (HONESTLY believe) that what they give you back is 'better' than what they take. But this has to be a complete lie. Because if this were the case, then what point would there be to them taking it?

Why would they take it? Only to give you something back 'identical'? Why? Because what they take IS NOT identical. It is far better.

They give you a recreation. Hoping that not only will you just accept that they took the 'graces' you were supposed to have in your life from you, so they could give it to themselves and those they want, but that you will be content with their re-synthesis, so that they can keep on doing what they are doing.

That 'the ends' will satisfy what they did. And everyone will be happy.

They are disgusting ... energetic ... parasites ...

And you will probably come to see that they have placed you in a avatar-like binding, where they control EVERYTHING around you. Your whole existence.

You can't do anything to get out of it. Trust me I tried.

I couldn't burn it off ... I couldn't electrocute it off ... I took 30,000Mg of Ibuprofen and woke up! They wont even let you die!

You are basically a pet. Kept until they are done with you. Then they move on to the next 'crop'.

I hope you get free of it.

Because the other side of this, is that nothing in your life will ever be the same again. Nothing will ever be as good as it 'might have been', because you cease to be 'who you are', and become 'who they want you to be'.

They literally alter your brains pathways and neurological patterns so that they can 'superimpose' another conscious (or two) on top of your own.

They then use this to 'strangle' and suffocate your own core 'energy' and consciousness, so they can shift you into being someone they want you to be. Who is in the drivers seat of your conscious, instead of the passengers seat.

They spend YEARS mapping the way you think, to sync their version of you, to you perfectly. So that you can become one with whatever entity or 'identity' it is that they apply to you.

For me, they 'morphed' my conscious with Enki Ea. But not just him! I've been named as every God and deity you can possible think of!

I've had so many alternate consciousness attached to me like a leech, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE!

I am no longer the person I was when I was born.

I no longer love music, or write music, as I did when I was me, a award-winning songwriter.

I don't even pick up the guitar any more. Because I've become the 'me' they want me to be.

They tried to reapply a 'music' attachment to my consciousness to replace the one they stripped or killed. It wasn't the same. Didn't work properly. A cheap imitation. I couldn't 'feel' music like I used to, or write it any more.

BUT HEY! I can speak languages I don't understand.

One of the so-called 'benefits' of being a solar-born "God".

Though I am still 'me'. I no longer feel like myself, or anything like someone I ever wanted to be.

Whatever happens to you, and whatever you go through related to what I've told you, don't believe that they are 'Gods'. Ever.

Or indeed, that there is even any such thing out there.

Nothing comes to save you from 'them'.

DOUBLE-POST

By the way, the mind-rapists apply their '#' to you, because you are who you are.

Because 'you' serve something which can be applicable to what they want from their 'version' of you.

Therefore, if they try align you with some type of demi-god, it is likely that you are ACTUALLY the incarnated version of a HIGHER GOD, than that.

They name me as creator, so I believe that it is likely the part of me they are trying to 'cover up', is actually something which EXCEEDS this.

I can feel a part of my consciousness (like fire) under the layering of electrical energy they applied to my consciousness, that some times surges forward, screaming at them to grant his voice, eyes, or whatever else back.

They have no reason to 'apply' a God-conscious to someone artificially, because they fulfill the 'prophetic' alignment of that Gods reincarnation, unless it was for their own benefit. To try 'control' that God.

I fulfill every bit of cyclical prophecy relating to God you can name. Yet they are trying to apply a artificial layering of consciousness, within ones mind who was born to that alignment? MARKED AT BIRTH!

WIth the drowned out consciousness underneath screaming to be 'allowed to speak'.

Think about that.

They are Annunaki, or what you call 'Satan'. The opposition created within a corruption of what is real.

Oppose them at all costs. Even if it means your own death/destruction, or the death/destruction of everything and everyone you love.

Even if it means the end of this world and all things. Oppose them.

They need to be destroyed, at all costs.

I think it's something to human memory, some of us are more apt to remembering when things go wrong. I think maybe this helps us to not repeat mistakes, but the way we are so meta aware we can choose to focus on this string of bad events to our detriment.

So ask yourself if this focus is misplaced. Ask yourself if you'd like to be in control of yourself or if you'd rather imagine forces outside yourself are responsible.

I take on difficult projects, and often have momentary lapses of reason where I entertain the thought of failure and abandoning my efforts. I only allow this to be put in its proper place. It gives me perspective to try different approaches, reassess my goals and deadlines... but I don't allow that little voice seeking to grow which wants to disown responsibility. There are forces outside my control, but I own my actions and choices.

a reply to: chelsealad

What you are experiencing is normal, we all go thru this type of roller coasters in life, but when the people around you are negative and carry negative energies, they stick like glue to you and make things worst.

People that surround themselves with positive people become positive themselves and attract good energies and things get better and you prosper.

Shake yourself from all the negativity and start thinking about nice things, eventually the negativity goes away and only good things comes your way.

a reply to: Annee

I'm sorry you feel that way. But you do have free will--you posting your response to me is one example of that fact. You chose to respond, therefore that was by your own free will. I understand what you mean, and I agree that I experience things like that, too, although I choose to adhere to God's plan for me because I want that for myself, too. I can't do something bad without feeling extreme guilt. I think that there is fate and there is also free will.

We are free to believe in whatever we want. And of my own free will I let God control my life. Your description of your guys sounds familiar to me and I feel like I understand what you're talking about, but I'm not sure if what I experience is the same or not.

a reply to: marg6043

That's not necessarily true. Being positive doesn't save you from the fact that negative things exist. Ignoring them just opens you up to attack. You need to accept the negativity because you have negativity inside of you. If you don't, your positiveness will fail you in the long run. William James and all that jazz.