Why can't we be nicer?

Seen a few of these rants lately and after reading some really dumb things on ATS today this is why.

Nice is a personal feeling. So Is mean. So is hurt and every other damn feeling, they are PERSONAL. Sometimes you want to be part of a community. Sometimes you want that community to learn from their own mistakes. Sometimes you HAVE to be an ASS to get that point across. Sometimes when you try to be nice you are blasted in the face with idiocy and ignorance. Sometimes that upsets you personally. Sometimes you say things people don't like. Sometimes you are right, and sometimes you are wrong.

Now, if you want to rant about respect, we can do that, but rarely do I see snarky responses on these forums break that plain. Usually when they do I also see the same person apologize for it.

So plain and simple. You post on an anonymous online forum. If your feelings are really that sensitive GTFO.

That is all

a reply to: Vector99

Sometimes you HAVE to be an ASS to get that point across.

No you don't.

Is this excusing some behavior on your part? Like you said, its easer to say you're sorry.

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: Vector99

Sometimes you HAVE to be an ASS to get that point across.

No you don't.

Is this excusing some behavior on your part? Like you sad, its easer to say your sorry.

No, it's simply stating that sometimes to get the point into a snowflakes head you have to be a fireball.

And it's YOU'RE sorry, not your.

a reply to: Vector99

No, it's simply stating that sometimes to get the point into a snowflakes head you have to be a fireball.

But snowflakes melt, then the mods will have to mop up the puddles…

go easy. Just state your point.

My thoughts? Folks come here because they were members of other forums. Most other forums' posters will fry you up and eat you while you are still kickin. Sometimes I think they believe that they will be safe and pandered here. It is true , but only for decent (?) posts.

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: Vector99

No, it's simply stating that sometimes to get the point into a snowflakes head you have to be a fireball.

But snowflakes melt, then the mods will have to mop up the puddles…

go easy. Just state your point.

The harsher the words the more you contemplate them.

Sometimes it is indeed necessary.

I wish the world were rainbows and unicorns too (and I hate both of those) but it isn't.

And sometimes some are just an ass out of the box. Like it is a right or something. I know I have been before, but I try to refrain from posting if I catch myself in time thinking like that.

originally posted by: smirkley
And sometimes some are just an ass out of the box. Like it is a right or something. I know I have been before, but I try to refrain from posting if I catch myself in time thinking like that.

This I can agree with, sometimes some of us are that way right away. Like I said, sometimes you are right and sometimes you are wrong.

i shall start being " nicer " when idiots cease regurgitating the same bollox

a reply to: ignorant_ape

a reply to: ignorant_ape

Why do I doubt that.

(Sorry, just had to)

In the real world sometimes you do have to be mean to get the message across, otherwise others will walk all over you. I would rather not but some people only respond to it because, like stated, they think about it on a deeper level in a way they can relate to. Not all people appreciate kindness and thoughtfulness .

Online it's not needed for the same reasons but equally necessary sometimes. Being offended makes you think on multiple levels

a reply to: Vector99

There's no excuse for assholes. There's never a good reason to be one. The only reason people act like that is due to immaturity and a lack of self control. Of course, it could be unintentional, like frustration of course. But no, there's always a choice. And I think it's pretty obvious that being kind and polite is the way to go.

a reply to: GemmyMcGemJew

No. If you know what you're talking about and say it with confidence, nobody is going to walk all over you. Being mean and rude just shows that you're weak and feel insecure. And that, ironically, makes it more likely you will indeed be walked all over

a reply to: Vector99

The harsher the words the less I contemplate them and the more likely it becomes that I will say something very unkind in return. Vicious cycle and all that. Violence begets violence. With being mean, the same applies. It's just common sense. I don't appreciate being disrespected, especially when it isn't deserved. Especially when the harshness is just the person transferring their own feelings onto me. I only listen to harshness from people who I love and trust. Otherwise, I lay the smack down and put the person back in their place. If I have no loyalty to you, I'd suggest not trying to get me into a battle of insults--because I will win. I usually try to control myself, but I'm not perfect. That's why being mean is a bad idea--you could set off someone like me, and in doing so end up biting off more than you can chew. That's why I just try to be nice. Less messy, that way.

Being mean just loses the whole point. If you are coming from a place of love, there's no reason to be mean. And if you're not coming from a good place, why open your mouth at all?

Point being, we are all weak to some extent. Showing anger is showing weakness.

a reply to: rukia
Have you worked in the service industry?
With bar work people test you to see if you have back bone with insults . Responding with kindness will result in you having no respect from the customers. You are unfortunately wrong. Some people are just not nice and only respond to non nice things.

a reply to: Vector99

I don't know why you made this rant but I get it. I like the name you chose vector.
I was told recently that I've become mean. Well ya know what, the truth hurts! I personally don't think I'm mean I just feel I've become more aggressive. Hmmm.. but I'm sweet as pie. I'm a southern belle doll.

a reply to: Vector99

Feelings influence our thoughts.
Language is limitated to words.
Words are not perfect to give an accurate picture of our feelings.
I can try this to set the mood, but does it help?

Sometimes you have to be DUMB to be and ASS

Dumbass

We are a product of our environment. If the news was focused on love, truth, wisdom, compassion, self-sacrifice, humility, freewill and Justice, we would be a product of that. If our politicians were focused on the same, we'd become the same. Instead we are bombarded and programmed to hate, deceive, lie, be proud, ignorant, arrogant, boastful and divided. Little by little we are able change the tide. It's happening, but we need to focus exclusively on these positive attributes.

a reply to: SeeReeS

In essence, yes.
But you expressed it a bit fatalistic. We still have a choice.
Not just in picking our role models, but also in every interaction, we impress.

Build or destroy? That's the trigger.

Some people have communication skills, some don't.



If you're having to be a rude obnoxious ass towards someone to get a point across....

You're doing it wrong.