Why Is Everyone So Mean?

a reply to: MoreInterior
I cant say for anyone else, but for me, its typically because im out of beer, and those me friend are sad days.

a reply to: MoreInterior

Actually I think the reason for the meaness is that Americans, in general, have a pretty low opinion of their fellow Americans.

originally posted by: ware2010
a reply to: MoreInterior
I cant say for anyone else, but for me, its typically because im out of beer, and those me friend are sad days.

then you get a free pass. Be as mean as you like. it's OK.

1 It's the media It's the news It's the television , it's the internet, it's the politics ,it's the NWO -
2 If one starts to believe MSM one concludes it's good to be mean -
3 people arent really mean , they are pragmatic and mostly go with the flow -

a reply to: MoreInterior

i am not mean - i am a realist

a reply to: MoreInterior

That is a very good question. Almost nobody remebers the Golden Rule I guess.

originally posted by: kosmicjack
Two words: Social Media.

The distance and anonymity make it oh-so-easy to say something you would never say to someone's face. Then, once that becomes second nature, it's no surprise when it bleeds over into real life.

We've become desensitized to each others humanity.

First off, I couldn't agree more with the OP's sentiments. Also, what nonspecific said on page 1, and this here being a big part of it (though I suspect it is as much cause as it is reciprocal effect) - the social media thing seems to have bred (and in a viscious circle, been bred by) this ridiculous air of unearned, unjustified self-importance. When people justifiably command respect, they don't flaunt it, but the "look at me, I'm great, because 14 people liked my fish face picture" people do. Ugh.

a reply to: MamaJ

Characters should remain the same even behind closed doors or on the internet.

I agree

originally posted by: 191stMIDET
a reply to: MoreInterior
Almost nobody remebers the Golden Rule I guess.

He who owns the gold makes the rule??

Thats the golden rule I was taught anyways.

a reply to: network dude
well thanks dude, but fortunately we have beer today, so happy day it is haha to bad everyone else wasn't so simple, but F em hahaha

a reply to: MoreInterior

Beautifully said, it won't make any difference to the ones who need to hear it the most but it makes me feel good that someone said it, sees these things and that some agree openly with your heartfelt question.

originally posted by: imod02
a reply to: Benevolent Heretic
A man traveled the world looking for the secret of happness and contenment of the soul, after 10 years he still had not found it. But then he heard of this old man who lives high up in a mountian range who has the answer. So the man traveled to the mountian and found the old man, as he stood infrount of the old man he asked
"Sir I have traveled the world for 10 years looking for the answer how to have happness and contentment of my soul, please tell me"
The old man looked at him and said "never fight or disagree"
"NO NO screams the man this cannot be the answer"
The old man looks at him and says
"you are right my son"

I was sure the answer was live high up on a mountain range alone

originally posted by: Metallicus
Human beings are emotional creatures. Even the best of us sometimes lose control of our emotions...especially when someone attacks something important to us. I try not to take the names personally. After all, it doesn't mean anything at the end of the day what someone on the internet thinks of you.

A kind word has been known to turn a person aside from crime, suicide or mistakes. A cruel hurtful word has done the opposite. Plenty don't care about the effect they have on others but if you were unintentionally cruel you can fix it and apologize sincerely.

He makes that clear earlier when He says, “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Have you ever felt unfairly judged? Like someone caught you on a bad day when you were mad and judged your entire character on that one day? Well being judged by our words isn’t like that. It’s not like words are just one aspect of our character that don’t define us. We can be accurately judged by our words because they are an accurate reflection of what’s happening in our hearts.

It’s almost like I’m holding a cup, you don’t know what’s in there. I could tell you water is in there, or juice is in there. But if I trip and splash or spill some of that drink, you’ll know exactly what’s in there. It’s the same with our words and our hearts. When we speak, the content of our hearts is spilling out. Our words always show what’s in our hearts, whether good or evil. And as Paul Tripp, an author I read this week, said, “You have never spoken a neutral word i

builttobrag.com...

a reply to: MoreInterior

Thank you for your thoughts.

I think there are a lot of reasons why people are at each other's throats. One reason that has stood out to me for years is this way of thinking: "It's not what I say, it's how you take it." This removes responsibility from the speaker and places all the responsibility onto the listener. My friends say- just let stuff roll off and forget it. I tell them this:

Me- Can I break your nose?
Them- No!
Me- Why not? You'll get over it... shrug it off. Not my fault.
Them- It's wrong! It IS your fault because you did it! That's irresponsible!
Me- Pfffffft... You don't like it? Tough! It's not what I did, it's how you took it.

Stepping back first has often contributed to diffusing situations and we (the ppl & I) were able to have constructive communication after.

I like to think a chunk of people (anywhere) want cooperation. But a lot, too, get caught up in a contest to see who can bash the other more and who can withstand more i.e. I'm not backing down, so the cooperative intent doesn't manifest.

When I see those grammar and spelling nazi's, and the smarter than thou's, or the rude reply's, I just ignore it. I dont respond. I think if others would refuse to respond a lot of it would stop.

Some people just want to be dicks. I dont waste my time on them.

originally posted by: imod02
Sad but a lot of MODs here behave in the very way the OP discribes. If people see MODs doing it then they will follow

This feeds into part of my point.

It's true that there are some who simply want to be jerks, but it is equally true that are an equally large number who view candid disagreement on a controversial topic as their opponent "being mean."

a reply to: ketsuko
What you said is so true, I do have one fault(well many faults but im not going to tell them ) I do demand that people in power(mods) remain netural and some times I dont let them be human

This might be a little off topic , but I always though that the term "snowflake" was refearing to a PC loving leftey who would swoon if you said penus to them.

originally posted by: MoreInterior
Seriously, why is everyone at each other's throats? Every thread is full of people ripping each other apart, and this behavior isn't limited to ATS by a long shot. How does anyone expect progress of any kind when listening to and considering opposing views would mean not being bothered by outright insults and accusations?

It's not constructive to call people snowflakes or rednecks.
It doesn't benefit anyone to put down someone's race, or to call someone who didn't do that a racist.

We all feel passionately about our world. The issues we are dealing with are huge. They're bigger than any one person, any minority, any majority. Wouldn't it be wiser to think of each other as part of our own world, as opposed to a threat to it, and start communications from there?

Even if you are of the strong opinion that someone is stupid, mentally ill, culturally inferior, etc., you do not gain a thing by flouting it. Instead, you ensure that those people will never hear you out. And, yet again, the atmosphere becomes one where cooperation has exactly zero chance of happening.

The question is, do we really want cooperation?

Nice OP, thanks.

I've observed the name calling. It doesn't seem like there is a want for cooperation but rather one's own valid of feeling right and that somehow they think being mean helps that.

I've heard from many long time people, some who left, that they found they too became nasty claiming the result was because of how they were treated. The behavior creates a cycle of nastiness apparently, that just derails potential conversation.

Social media has a large impact. People receive a "jolt of dopamine" from likes on FB, it's not far to say many are affected similarly by stars. Approval is a part of the nastiness because those comments receive more attention.

Excellent post OP. I try to remember that adults were children once too...and they may well be only expressing what they learned as children.

I read this poem once as a child, and never forgot that words have power, and that power must be wielded responsibly.

I know sometimes they make you mad
and there are times that they act bad

But they are still learning right from wrong
and growing and finding where they belong.

Frustrating?
Yes, they can be
But your Love and approval are important to them

I know it would be easy to simply blow your stack
but when things are said in anger you can't take them back.

Children believe what they are told
They believe what you say

If you tell them that they are worthless,
They will start feeling that way

So when anger over whelms you, please try to resist
remember words hit just as hard as a fist.

Character is built or destroyed every day; and one must make a choice as to whether they are a builder or destroyer.
The world you see today is reflective of your (our) creation.

originally posted by: ketsuko

originally posted by: imod02
Sad but a lot of MODs here behave in the very way the OP discribes. If people see MODs doing it then they will follow

This feeds into part of my point.

It's true that there are some who simply want to be jerks, but it is equally true that are an equally large number who view candid disagreement on a controversial topic as their opponent "being mean."

The thread is not about disagreeing. I don't' think anyone expects everyone to agree with them, it is how they choose to show their disagreement.