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a reply to: nonspecific

expect the heart palpitations to go away after a few weeks, and know that its not dangerous since its not caused by a medical condition that needs acute attention - its simply caused by your brain having serious trouble regulating the flow of GABA which is inhibited in your case, and will be for quite some time.
view your brain as a confused child, not knowing what to do. and it is alone and scared. mum and dad (the bottle) is now gone and it has to fend for itself in the big wide world.
its gonna take a while. but it WILL grow strong again.

the palpitations happened to me as well, and it was so scary... feeling your heart simply skip a beat.. feeling it actually STOP DEAD for a second is damn near the worst physical feeling ive had i think.
your breathing halts, you get light headed, and you worry.
it sucks.

but it will go away.

edit:
i got also an extreme heart rate of 170 bpm, at day five.
it was so weird.
all of a sudden, BAM. heart rate of 150. i was just lying in bed.
bam 160. bam 170. i felt i was gonna pass out.
i called 911 and got hospitalized for 2 days, with huge amounts of Valium.
so if your heart rate goes past 150 i suggest you go to the E.R, for some Valium induced sleep
it was heaven!

when i got home, i was in the clear

originally posted by: berenike
a reply to: nonspecific

How's your workshop coming along?

Do you still have that box of screws and gewgaws that needs sorting out?

Well there's a bit of a story about that mate...

A very close friend of mine has copd and MS and his wife left and divorced him and he was forced to sell his house to give her half the money, my workshop is currently stacked full of his stuff and out of action, he has to come and live with us for a while and has also found out he might have cancer.

Everything has also taken a strain on myself and Mrsnonspecific's relationship so it's not really the best time to be sat here sweating it out all alone but that's life I suppose.

Sorry your kind attempt to raise my spirits fell a bit flat buddy but I'm not going to lie to you.

How's you anyhow?

a reply to: nonspecific

Still envious of that box that need's sorting

I've been trying to write a bit more lately, but inspiration isn't so easy to come by.

Have you thought about writing down how you feel or listing stuff that needs to be done?

Anything to get 'it' out of your head where it will grow out of all proportion. Writing it all out can put things into perspective - help to clear your mind to develop a plan of action.

There's probably never a good time to do what you're doing, just maybe a 'least worst' time.

The thing is, to become strong, you have to put the work in. Same way as you'd go to the gym to build up your bodily strength.

You're getting stronger each day and learning new coping mechanisms. It's a bit of a crash course, but you've succeeded every day. You're developing an expectation to win - so win you will.

originally posted by: berenike
a reply to: nonspecific

Still envious of that box that need's sorting

I've been trying to write a bit more lately, but inspiration isn't so easy to come by.

Have you thought about writing down how you feel or listing stuff that needs to be done?

Anything to get 'it' out of your head where it will grow out of all proportion. Writing it all out can put things into perspective - help to clear your mind to develop a plan of action.

There's probably never a good time to do what you're doing, just maybe a 'least worst' time.

The thing is, to become strong, you have to put the work in. Same way as you'd go to the gym to build up your bodily strength.

You're getting stronger each day and learning new coping mechanisms. It's a bit of a crash course, but you've succeeded every day. Your developing an expectation to win - so win you will.

If your really bored you can help me sort out over 500 items of starwars memorabilia to sell for my friend so he has some cash and I have my workshop back.

What do you write?

I got Star Wars memorabilia coming out of my ear 'oles. Books, action figures etc from Episodes 1-3.

I even got those little figures that stand on a platform and 'talk'.

Nothing pristine in its box, though. I played with the lot of it

I write short stories - extremely silly, usually a bit dark then infest the short stories forum with them.

But writing out problems, feelings etc works very well.

a reply to: berenike

I never really go to the story forums, I will check some out at some point.

I have some epic Starwars stuff here at the moment including an actual helmet from episode 6 signed by about 40 actors who played stormtroopers in the film.

Not an easy thing to price and sell that eh?

a reply to: nonspecific

Get it on ebay a bit sharpish

Really, over 500 items? Crikey, I'd have so much fun sorting through that lot. I'd probably be inspired to watch the films, too.

I can remember lugging home 3 action figures, Liam Neeson, Euan McGregor (in character, of course) and Darth Maul. All of them about 12" high and in big boxes. Their light sabres were supposed to glow, but that didn't work so well. They're in the spare room at the moment.

a reply to: nonspecific
Berenike is right about writing, sometimes just getting it out helps...

NS, don't forget The Shed is there any time you need someone to listen. There is usually someone milling around.

Never think you are alone. There are a ton of us that are willing to talk or listen if you need! Or just write it all out and leave it there...

originally posted by: Martin75
a reply to: nonspecific
Berenike is right about writing, sometimes just getting it out helps...

NS, don't forget The Shed is there any time you need someone to listen. There is usually someone milling around.

Never think you are alone. There are a ton of us that are willing to talk or listen if you need! Or just write it all out and leave it there...

I often try to pop into the shed but that thing moves so fast I cannot keep up!

It also seems like such a happy place, I woulden't want to spoil the mood regardless of how good the cakes are and besides I had to quit caffine as well and all those coffee's would be too tempting!

a reply to: nonspecific
Good for you, mate. You'll stick to your guns. Sure of it.

a reply to: nonspecific

I had my own personal crisis with alcoholism in my late 30's, to the point where my doctor told me that it had become a life-threatening situation. The year it came to a head was 1985.

Jumping off the wagon that fall was abrupt and led to a radical change in life-style. I sold my Harley and lost many of my former drinking buddies as a result, but I completely beat the urge to binge drink. My family comes first.

Don't lose hope.

a reply to: nonspecific

I have nothing practical to offer other than my hope you do well. I have no personal frame of reference for that issue, other than second hand observation. I know it has to be hell, and I also know it can be overcome. Easy for me to say, I know. "Everest? People climb it every day so BFD". And yet, most of us would flake out before we got to base camp.

One day at a time.

Hang in there and be aware you have a lot of people pulling for you.

Just another quick thankyou to everyone who PM'd me and a bit of an update for anyone interested but also to put today down in writing.

I'm not sure if there is a difference between straight pyhisical addiction and those who use alcohol to block out memories, it seems to me that I seem aside from the shaking and sweating and the pain in my bones the physical addiction is not all that bad.

Yesterday I went to see a mate and he and another friend were sat in the garden with a couple of ice cold beers and apart from the fact it was really hot and they looked ice cold there was no urge to drink one like I expected, I took a couple of peppermint teabags with me and did feel a bit stupid supping a steaming hot cup of tea in the baking sun but other than that I was fine with it. Next time I will make a strong batch and chill it to take with me in a bottle so others do not feel quite so guilty and uncomfortable about me not drinking while they do.

today however was a different story as for resons I do not understand the pain and shaking was greater than yesterday and a lot of very old and buried memories came back in force and proceed to attack me in a way I could not have imagined possible.

a reply to: nonspecific

Oh no!

I am so sorry, and thanks for the update.

If you are feeling weak is there someone you can call to come be with you?

Is the missus there?

I think maybe it's round two (is that even a thing?)

I believe you can stay strong! I know it's important to you!

Yes people use all sorts of 'drugs' to bury or stuff down pain and memories IMHO.

I think that you'll just have to fight through it.

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
a reply to: nonspecific

Oh no!

I am so sorry, and thanks for the update.

If you are feeling weak is there someone you can call to come be with you?

Is the missus there?

I think maybe it's round two (is that even a thing?)

I believe you can stay strong! I know it's important to you!

Yes people use all sorts of 'drugs' to bury or stuff down pain and memories IMHO.

I think that you'll just have to fight through it.

Hi TM thanks for stopping by.

I'm all on my larry at the moment but it's maybe for the best as i am not a pretty site right now what does not kill you eh.

a reply to: nonspecific

Ha! Another thread...sometimes we are all just hanging on by another thread...

Yes, a bunch of strangers "got your back." Write that down on your palm if you need to, in indelible ink.

I can't relate to being an alcoholic. I have been smashed a few times, but usually it turned out to be rather humorous. Operative word here is usually, or I'd be experimenting more. BUT, if you will allow a hardly the same comparison:

I will also not go into great detail about what happens when you go cold turkey after spending more than half your life addicted to alcohol but I would not recommend it without medical supervision

Does this count? With chocolate being one of my two favorite vegetables, the other being gravy, I DID go cold turkey once and gave up chocolate, simply unprovoked and on the spot. I did it on a whim to myself to prove I could do it, and went "without" for an entire year...

...and I wouldn't recommend that without medical supervision either!


Fishy

originally posted by: ClownFish
a reply to: nonspecific

Ha! Another thread...sometimes we are all just hanging on by another thread...

Yes, a bunch of strangers "got your back." Write that down on your palm if you need to, in indelible ink.

I can't relate to being an alcoholic. I have been smashed a few times, but usually it turned out to be rather humorous. Operative word here is usually, or I'd be experimenting more. BUT, if you will allow a hardly the same comparison:

I will also not go into great detail about what happens when you go cold turkey after spending more than half your life addicted to alcohol but I would not recommend it without medical supervision

Does this count? With chocolate being one of my two favorite vegetables, the other being gravy, I DID go cold turkey once and gave up chocolate, simply unprovoked and on the spot. I did it on a whim to myself to prove I could do it, and went "without" for an entire year...

...and I wouldn't recommend that without medical supervision either!

Fishy

LOL I have never been a chocoholic so I could not compare the two but if I were to hazard a guess i would say that the alcohol is a bit more of a challenge

a reply to: nonspecific

LOL I have never been a chocoholic so I could not compare the two but if I were to hazard a guess i would say that the alcohol is a bit more of a challenge

Perhaps.

I gave up soda on April 25 2015 (My Mom's Bday).

I was absolutely manic for about a week! It was ridiculous.

I thought 'I must be the weakest human on the planet'.

My children were offering me soda any chance they got or injecting the topic of it (soda) into every conversation to attempt to 'break' me.

I didn't break and my new 'thing' is every year on April 25 I will give up a bad (IMO) habit.

So, I gave up soda but my water, coffee, and 'other' beverage consumption increased phenomenally
Don't know if that helps but thought I'd share it with you anyway.

You're in my thoughts!

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
a reply to: nonspecific

LOL I have never been a chocoholic so I could not compare the two but if I were to hazard a guess i would say that the alcohol is a bit more of a challenge

Perhaps.

I gave up soda on April 25 2015 (My Mom's Bday).

I was absolutely manic for about a week! It was ridiculous.

I thought 'I must be the weakest human on the planet'.

My children were offering me soda any chance they got or injecting the topic of it (soda) into every conversation to attempt to 'break' me.

I didn't break and my new 'thing' is every year on April 25 I will give up a bad (IMO) habit.

So, I gave up soda but my water, coffee, and 'other' beverage consumption increased phenomenally
Don't know if that helps but thought I'd share it with you anyway.

You're in my thoughts!

That is mean of your kids!

Up until now I have been in a lot of real pain and confusion with a real issue coping with emotions but have had alcohol in the house that could have been drunk at any time.

Until about an hour ago when someone dropped a bombshell on me I was glad it was in the house but I had to get someone to take my cash and the beers away for now as I will not let this beat me.

a reply to: nonspecific

BUT, if you will allow a hardly the same comparison

Oh, no, no argument there! I know the "intellectual specifics" pardon the partial pun, to how that affects one. You are in an up hill battle that is just that. You will find yourself bombarded with temptations and excuses and opportunities and justifications and moments of weakness...well, I'm encouraging, aren't I?...and you might give in. You need to "be ahead" of that possibility within yourself, and if it happens, just start again. That's the main thing. Always, always, always, allow yourself to start again.

(I was going to give you a mug emoji, but I'll just stick to the usual...)

Fishy