Microaggressions - Be Careful What You Say!

a reply to: theantediluvian

"Are you an alcoholic or have you managed to stay away from the stuff?"
ONly when I'm drinking.

"I hear so many of you people turn to the drink and beat your wives. I think that's terrible."
I do as well, a real man can do that stone cold sober.

"You own a gun? Well remind me not to get on your bad side!"
That's a smart move by you!

"How many people did you kill? You seem really well adjusted considering."
It's calmed me. You should have seen how aggressive I was before the first notch on my belt.

"Is it hard to kill the little ones?"
No, you just don't lead them as far.

"Be honest, how many kids did you have 'over there' ?"
None. See your next question.

"You were in the Navy? Is it true that a lot of the guys would turn 'homo' when y'all were at sea?"
It's not gay if there's no eye contact.

etc...

My point here is that there are a world of snappy answers to stupid comments. Amazingly, most of us who are tried and true assholes welcome and are delighted by snappy, witty comebacks to our assholishness. Remember being a kid and having a couple of friends so close you'd sit around insulting each other all day? You didn't really think Bobby Green's ma was so fat she left the house in the morning wearing high heels and came back at 5 with flip-flops... nor did Bobby really think your old man was such a drunk he'd sit on the TV and watch the couch. But damn, it made for some laughs and built some skin.

The anti-PC and anti-SJW people are just as bad as the people they complain about.

*pst* If you just avoid them and don't feed them, they tend to wither away and die.

These PC/SJW types thrive on attention. This is why they act/say/do what they do -- it's all an elaborate attention-seeking act.

When YOU engage with them, when YOU argue with them, and when YOU complain and go 180 degrees the opposite direction, you are playing into their hands. YOU are playing a role in their growth and continued existence. Without YOU to argue with, without YOU complaining about or engaging them ... they have nothing.

The best way to beat these people is to just walk away from the discussion when they show up. Pop their balloon and walk away while they're flustered and deflated.

These people THRIVE on conflict, and if you don't give them conflict, they take their ball and go home.

SJW types want to illicit an emotional response from YOU.

Deny them that. That is the ultimate weapon and way to win. Not only do you make them look even more pathetic, deny them something, you win hands down as the bigger/better person.

Don't allow these SJW types and PC-police people to manipulate YOUR feelings. When you get angry and engage them, they are controlling you. They are making you act angry and impulsively. They are winning. Just ignore them, deprive them of the fuel and attention they seek.

a reply to: burdman30ott6

Oh, you're in the "I'm not racist; I just hate everybody" camp.

a reply to: MystikMushroom

I see. In other words, we should do and behave exactly as they want. We shouldn't have an opinion on anything, and if we do, we should never dare to express it.

Forget about free speech then. It's dead.

a reply to: MystikMushroom

I am aware that what I say elicits a response.

I just don't care that it does.

a reply to: MystikMushroom

I disagree. Most of those SJW wastes of oxygen follow the old idiom "Silence implies consent." As I've said before, there truly is only one response to these people which they are completely at a loss for... If you respond to an accusation with anger, then you lose because apparently people only get angry when they're defensive about something and being defensive supposedly equates to a feeling of guilt. If you respond apologetically, then you end up going on the whirlwind whipping post tour, supplicating yourself before any and all who demand it and looking like a complete spineless ass. No, the proper response is to take the accusation, refuse ownership of it because it is 100% on the offended and has zero to do with your own choices... the individual who is offended chose to take offense, and it is a free country where they can make that choice, but that doesn't mean it's any of my business or concern if they chose to take offense at something I said. Then, if you want to get a chuckle, spike the ball... wallow in whatever offended them like a rutting pig. You likely aren't the devil, but that doesn't mean you can't take a few moments to rally all of the offended's personal demons and send them into attack mode inside that fool's psyche.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: MystikMushroom

I see. In other words, we should do and behave exactly as they want. We shouldn't have an opinion on anything, and if we do, we should never dare to express it.

Forget about free speech then. It's dead.

No, I'm saying do whatever the hell you want and ignore them.

a reply to: burdman30ott6

Sadly, your logic doesn't follow with documented human psychology.

Many of the SJW types are displaying narcissistic personality disorder type traits and behaving in ways that people borderline personality disorder do.

Denying them the emotional, angry responses they desire is like cutting off the drug supply to a drug addict.

These people are addicted to conflict, and engaging them doesn't rid the world of them -- it only makes them dig in harder and expand their ranks.

These people feed off other people making them into victims. If they're not in a victim role, they prod and poke until someone says something they can use to claim their victimhood.

When you feed the trolls, you just help breed more trolls. When you feed the SJW's what they want, you're not helping but actually making the situation worse.

a reply to: burdman30ott6

bravo!

reminds me of that scene in Gran Torino where he takes the kid into the barber shop.

My uncle and my grandfather rolled into one. What a great character. I think the US needs more Eastwood.

originally posted by: CJCrawley
a reply to: theantediluvian

How is it insulting or dumb to ask the question, "no, I mean where are you from originally?"?

It's often asked of black people since they very obviously don't originate from your part of the world. But you might equally ask it of anyone in America, since very few people originated from there.

I probably wouldn't ask it myself, but that's because I'm generally not overburdened with curiosity about people.

Its not offensive, or shouldn't be offensive, on its face. When we meet someone new, we try to make connections with them. The ideal: they know someone we know. This gives us a context.

example: earlier this week i was doing new hire paperwork for an employee. During the process, they give me quite a bit of personal info. To put them at ease, I try to make as much small talk as i can while doing my thing. I always ask, "So are you from insert my town here?" Its an ice breaker, and allows them to tell me where they hail from. I can use this, then, to relate.

The employee earlier this week is from a town that no one has ever heard of (Perryton). Except that is where my paternal roots are. I know the area very well, and it put this employees mind at ease a little that we knew some of the same people. At that point, my name was instantly recognizable to her (there's a town that bears the family name up in that region).

But i've seen the question asked in a very racist way more than once. i guess it all boils down to what you intend to do with the information.

a reply to: theantediluvian

I'm not (what seems to have become) a typical ATS poster. I don't post often but I have been here for something like 8 years and I will always admit to a mistake (uncommon of late on these forums as that may be). Which, I of course, shall do now.

I used the context of the OP because at the time I was unable to watch videos or open the doc file. In that capacity and context, I still stand by my original post. I also stand by the relevance to the topic... in that capacity and context, of course. So I must apologize to you for my indignant response, it was my own fault for assuming the content of the attachments was represented wholly by the text of the post.

Now, if you're genuinely interested in my opinion on the subject (hell, even if you're not i'm still going to express it now that I know the proper context) here goes.

Firstly I hardly see how I have "painted myself into a corner" here, however I must admit to another assumption. I thought you were alluding to black Americans. Again, my fault completely but for whatever reason the main example that really stuck in my brain was the "you are so articulate" line. Where I live and was raised we have a very "down the middle" kind of racial makeup. The areas around here are about 50% black and 50% white. To say I see it on a daily basis would be an exaggeration but I'll say at a minimum of twice a week I see a white person say to a black person, usually with great enthusiasm and excitement of some kind, that they are extremely articulate and "educated" sounding. This is what I was referring to when I said plain old racist and bigoted. Again, because I assumed wrongly that you were referring to black Americans. I won't involve anecdotes but I will say I've experienced more well spoken blacks than whites in this area over the past 30+ years. I won't bother elaborating, if anyone doesn't see the racism there, intentional or not, you're a bigot.

On to Asian and Hispanic Americans which I now see this doc was more geared towards. Asians get the "where are you really from" line, at least in my experience, from sheer ignorance of a usually born and raised white Americans regarding their own language. While I am far from dismissing this as a totally acceptable question, it's (again, in my experience) generally a person with good intentions making conversation while lacking the command of their native tongue to formulate the question in a less presumptuous manner. For example, I worked with an ABSOLUTELY STUNNING woman a few years ago. It was obvious she was mostly Asian but not wholly. She was the kind of beautiful that makes you feel the need to ask. So I did. My exact words were "hey Vange, if you don't mind my asking, what nationalities make up your family's lineage?" Yes, I probably could have picked better wording but she was not at all offended and I think you get my point. If anyone cares, it turned out her father was Korean and her mother Hawaiian and Brazilian. Good old melting pot of NYC.

Hispanics deal with much the same as the Asian example. The problem there is that of all Hispanic people I've met, a very large percentage are raised speaking Spanish (or Portuguese around here) as a first language followed by English further on. I've learned to assume nothing because of this because often you'll meet Hispanic peoples around here and other places I've visited or lived who do indeed have an extremely thick accent. The natural response is to ask where they're from. Again, it's ignorance. I don't condone it by any means but if there's a way to stop ignorance, it clearly hasn't been implemented even if based only on this god awful, beating a dead horse election.

Somewhere in the grey area of on and off topic, I do have another slightly related opinion though. This reminds me a great deal of almost every experience I've had in rural and suburban areas of Europe. Even if you're fluent in the language of the country you're visiting, it is almost unfailingly assumed upon the utterance of the words "i'm from New York" that you are an ignorant, self absorbed, uneducated moron present only because you lost your way between tourist destinations and not possibly because you're just visiting family or just visiting and don't like cities. It is annoying, to be sure, but it does not send me off onto tangents of "YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!" and the like. So while I agree that yes, these kinds of things are and probably always will be problems in society... most people really do need to grow a thicker skin.

So there's my long-winded "brief" summary. If you genuinely feel interested in a discussion, feel free to message me.

Once again, my sincere apologies for my own ignorance based "micro aggression" ha! (Maybe not so micro).

originally posted by: burgerbuddy
I'm so confused!!!

I was too!
This might help.

a reply to: Magnivea

The thing is that in the US where we have so many people with so many different ethnic backgrounds, even among us plain old white Americans that "where are you from" is mostly a standard question.

Even two white people will ask that of themselves and not necessarily be referring to just which small town we grew up in, but what our ancestry was. Are you Irish? German? What about Polish or Italian or British?

It's a side effect of being what so many people feel they need to remind us of: a nation of immigrants.

People ask "where you from" all the time, here.

Even if you are asian, you still can be asked. Korea? Mainland? Taiwan? Thailand? Japan etc.

I work with blacks sometimes and more or less always ask. Nigeria, Congo, Liberia, Zimbabwe etc.

I can get an idea, since we speak in english and most have a french accent.

Of course some are actually from france or in other cases, the UK.

It's just small talk, maybe a connection somewhere or other. No big deal.

originally posted by: burgerbuddy
It's just small talk, maybe a connection somewhere or other. No big deal.

That's essentially what I was getting at in a much less concise way. I don't think most of these cases are micro or any other form of aggression. It's usually just the ignorant manner in which some people do it that I think leads to the problems.

Agreed. I just happen to be built like a human version of a monster truck so I get that a lot from people of all races, other whites included.

a reply to: ketsuko

a reply to: Winstonian

Perhaps you should try your luck at an episode or two of South Park.

Your use of microaggression, in a white against black scenario, merely shows your take/opinion on the matter, nothing more.

This is a problem that plagues society, the PC police and those that came up with the term "microaggression" had to have been only children, because the special snowflake mentality has sincerely crushed anyone's spine and backbone.

My suggestion would be to watch the latest season of south park and understand that many of the characters on that show are more "awake" to the real world bull# than many of the individuals in this, the "real" world.

a reply to: Winstonian

It's just more government "think tank" psychology at work. If they control your mannerisms and behavior, they control you. It's psychological slavery. It's actually quite brilliant, if one is evil.

*If you want to witness crap-loads of micro-aggressions, check out some of the responses to my posts on here, about things like "transgenders in the females bathrooms" or "feminists". Quite irritating, but funny too.

a reply to: Winstonian

I'd call it insanity, but those behind this sort of nonsense know exactly what they are doing. As for the whole idea, it's utter BS. Just an excuse to label anything and everything as "racist", to gain power.

a reply to: mmshelt

Where did you find that rare Pepe?