I grew up, like most people do.

originally posted by: MiddleInitial
a reply to: reldra

I had zero control over the reward system in my school, anyhow.

True, you don't. But you got some. It builds self esteem. It may guide you to a particular area of studies or athletics you like.

I won a Spellling Bee for my private school in Ca, then placed 3rd in the county (Contra Costa) Spelling bee after. It was a great honor. I went on to writing pursuits and learning different languages and teaching English after.

In comparison. I was ok in Track&Field, but would only get 'participation awards', mainly. Once placed 1st in a 100 yard dash. I looked all of the awards the same.


I obviously was not great at running, but I showed up. I trained. I learned. So I got a piece of paper for most. I deserved that piece of paper.

a reply to: reldra

Surely, I hope I didn't imply otherwise.

a reply to: eisegesis

You mean enforce the fantasies of people living in a western culture? Everything changes.. What you see as banal and vapid another person sees it like this, quote from this OP;

I started and flagged this because I'm interested to see where the conversation goes. Reading the thread title instantly resonated with me. I feel that I've been going through my own accelerated maturation process since my daughter was born several years ago, but then I must assume that many (if not all) parents do.

What did you offer? In the real world i mean

originally posted by: MiddleInitial
a reply to: reldra

Surely, I hope I didn't imply otherwise.

Well, some think the 'participation awards' are wrong. Not particularly you.

a reply to: reldra

I think arguments can be made for and against participation awards. Of course, I think it's good to make kids feel positive about their involvement in whatever.

I did get legit awards, like presidential science and math awards, and lots of awards in scouting, etc. But I also went off the rails in a major way as a teenager. It took me the better of twenty years to straighten out.

I guess what I am admitting is, I'm not sure where the "axis of symmetry" is in this debate. In spite of achieving and being rewarded for my achievements as a youngster, things really spun out for me for a while. I know it's not that way for everyone.

a reply to: PanPiper

You mean enforce the fantasies of people living in a western culture?

I'm not sure what you mean. Some fantasize, some don't. There is a harsh reality for many and others are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

Everything changes..

Correct, just not always for the better.

What did you offer? In the real world i mean

What's it to you and why does it matter? I analyze your contributions here, not in your life outside of ATS. That's why it is so hard to take anyone seriously when they discuss themselves unless you know them personally.

Being a "grown-up" remains a subjective term unless there is some general definition that you can reference to. You can't, so the perception that people have of you remains indefinite.

a reply to: Bluntone22

I hated losing but never cared about winning..

a reply to: eisegesis

Make it simple, its not a complex issue.. Growing up is not hard, its about accepting.. Offering something does not have to be you doing a great deed.. It can be simple, a thought or a word might make people into better humans..

Your trying to hard, i just see us as hairless primates trying to adjust ito the rules and boundaries of society..

originally posted by: MiddleInitial
a reply to: reldra

I think arguments can be made for and against participation awards. Of course, I think it's good to make kids feel positive about their involvement in whatever.

I did get legit awards, like presidential science and math awards, and lots of awards in scouting, etc. But I also went off the rails in a major way as a teenager. It took me the better of twenty years to straighten out.

I guess what I am admitting is, I'm not sure where the "axis of symmetry" is in this debate. In spite of achieving and being rewarded for my achievements as a youngster, things really spun out for me for a while. I know it's not that way for everyone.

Things often spin 'out of control' for teens and young adults. It depends on a lot of things. Your family support or lack thereof, friend support or lack thereof. Has little to do with participation awards or lack thereof. The 'awards' of this type will not fix everytihing.

Getting back to the OP, it may have something to do with growing up or not growing up or something in between. I made mistakes, though I had perfect grades through college. I made other mistakes, that were more connected to the OP. I always had self esteem though, and some of these 'participation awards' may have helped.




But even though 'mistakes were made', I would not trade them or undo them. Would have changed my entire timeline and I wouldn;t have been typing here this second.

originally posted by: PanPiper
a reply to: eisegesis

Growing up is not hard, its about accepting..

It's been my experience (not speaking to yours) that it's not always easy.

originally posted by: MiddleInitial

originally posted by: PanPiper
a reply to: eisegesis

Growing up is not hard, its about accepting..

It's been my experience (not speaking to yours) that it's not always easy.

It is both hard and about accepting.

originally posted by: Bluntone22
Just think how different you would be if you got a trophy every time when you were young.

I'd imagine far more confidence and more prone to narcissism... just what a person needs to be successful in a modern first world society!

a reply to: PanPiper

Your trying to hard...

And that's the rub...

Your statement again distills down to subjectivity and to be fair, also applies to statements I've directed at other members in the past. You think I'm trying too hard, whereas I don't think you're trying hard enough.

We are your peers here and can only judge you based upon the content of your submissions (on ATS). Most of what anyone says on the internet is anecdotal and meaningless without applying a long term developmental adoption of one's character and credibility.

More times than not, words are not evidence and it's why most of us require a proper source. This method allows us to forgo getting to know the contributor personally and staking their claim solely based upon what little knowledge we sometimes have of them.

Anyway, good luck to you in the future. I'm done.

a reply to: PanPiper

Oh really now? So grown-up you just had to tell everybody about it hmm? Maybe you would like a trophy.....

Ha sorry man, had to.

a reply to: PanPiper

You sound like the kind of guy I could go out & have a drink with, which is rare these days.

I've been knocked down more times than i can remember, but nothing or no one will stop me until I'm dead.

I find that mentality is part of what makes people like us so great; life's a bitch so get over it.

a reply to: eisegesis

Your statement again distills down to subjectivity and to be fair, also applies to statements I've directed at other members in the past

Or you could say i believe this is your opinion, you see i have mentors that does not wrap things in a fine little package..

You still do not make any sense, your like the freshmen in college,that has to much hope that your cleverness gets you through without any studies..

a reply to: threeeyesopen

Strangely, I feel like my life went backwards, compared to some. I don't feel childhood was nice at all. There was nothing "magic" about it, like people tend to say. They were cracked asphalt and graffitti, violence, serious worries and problems, no laughter, and play was something I did alone. It usually consisted of building a fort in an alley to hide in.


Adulthood started to feel like the sun finally peeping out of the clouds, and slowly got brighter and brighter. I have gotten less serious, more joyful... and now I play! Even with others. Mentally, I've gotten younger. (sadly my body didn't).

I sometimes wonder if, before we incarnate, we have meetings with our spiritual counselor, and we have choice to make...
"So you want to have more fun in the first part of life or the second?"

They explain the various plus's and minus's of each choice.... hmm, in the last life I had an awesome childhood, then adulthood was pretty dull in contrast....maybe this time I'll try the other way.


I don't know. Maybe this idea just helps me not feel like complaining all the time about my hard childhood. THAT got old.