Me, Bernie, a can of dog-food and the pope....(in a virtual meeting)

"Here is your can of dog-food back, Bergoglio. We don't eat that kind of food any longer."

"But Bernie, that's all you have ever eaten anyway."

"Is that true, Birdy?"

"Yes. Unfortunately it is, Bernie."

"Now YOU eat dog-food, Bergoglio. You and your perverse buddys."

"Nah, Bernie. That's not gonna happen. But I make you an offer you can not refuse: You can eat pasta once a month. You and all your so called companieros. How about that? You have no choise anyway."

"Is that true, Birdy? What poopee is saying?"

"No, it isn't. Just continue arguing with him, Bernie."

Part II:

"Birdy, you and your.....what ever, lost all your credibility in the beginning of the 20th century anyway. Remember?"

"Nah, not me. I never ate dog-food ever, Poopee."

"See, Bergoglio, some have never eaten it. Especially in the North they refused it."

"They all have. To a certain degree."

"And who is to blame for that, Poopee? Just tell me. I'm listening."

Part III:

"I gave you Michael. His message is sufficiant. Don't you think, Birdy?"

"No. Too many references to nazi's and nazi sympathizers like: C.G. Jung and Martin Heidegger. He even refers to that mofo Aleister Crowley as being of some sort of help. No mention of Karl Marx. No mention of Hermann Hesse. No mention of someone like Gurdjieff, for example. I wonder why not. Not that I think that dude was pure, but he delivered something of some value. And he considered Crowley as a mere psycho, whoms upper-middle-class background allowed him to mess around all over the place instead of ending up in a mental-institution."

"See, Bergolio? Listen to Birdy from now on."

Part IV:

"So, Birdy, what Michael is teaching is wrong, in your eyes?"

"No, not completely. He indeed has some good points. But what he is teaching, that only the individual all alone can make it, and can make a huge difference, he does embody that idea himself, obviously. He is part of the social media, has a web-site, is teaching and lecturing and is making videos and is making money with it, like everybody else does, who is in the disinformation buisness. And I'm sure he is baptized. He's born in Ireland. And does not mention James Joyce, ever. That's very telling also. By the way, I'm not baptized. I don't belong to your club. My partents did not "sacrifice" me to such .... well, YOU name it, Poopee."

"See, Bergolio? Birdy knows a lot of things. She walked the walk all alone. Michael did not, although he is pretending as if he did. She's not a member of any kind of club you and your pervert buddys are the leaders of."

Part V:

"What was your role and position in Argentinia again, Poopee? Please elaborate. We're in a confession session here. Just tell us, please."

"Yes, Bergoglio, tell us. We're listening."

Part VI:

(Half an hour later....)


"Ohh my goodness! That does NOT sound very saintly! That's creepy!"

"Bernie?!"

"Yes, Birdy?"

"We're not judging here. This is a confession session."

"I'm sorry. Please continue, Bergoglio."

"Yes, Poopee. Tell us more about it."

Part VII:

(Half an hour later....)


"I see. So that's why Ratsinger, nomen est omen, had to quitt his job. Interesting. Do we have some catering here, Bergoglio?"

"Obviously not, Bernie. Let him cry. Don't be so heartless."

"I'm sorry, Birdy."

"Here is some chocolate muffin, Bernie. That's all I have for now."

"Thanks! You're a real mother for me! Shakka-lakka-ding-dong...."

Part VIII:

(Half an hour later....)


"What's wrong with Ayn Rand? She was put up by us to give you some idea."

"Serious question, Bergoglio?"

"Yes, are you asking this to make joke, Poopee?"

"Ähh...yes."

Part IX:

"So, Michael is not good enough for you?"

"He is joking again, Birdy. Is he?"

"Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yes, he is, Bernie."

"Okay. I laugh later. When the catering will be....anyway. What about tea, Bergoglio? You can cook some for us here?"

"Nah, I have no stove or anything like that. For tea you use boiled water and some brownish old leafs, right?"

"He's smart, Bernie. No doubt about it."

a reply to: Willingly

I'm guessing this was directed as sarcasm to my post ? That's cool, lol, but what ever the punch line was it wasn't very funny, or understandable.....

I thought this was very funny....Have a great Day !

a reply to: MountainLaurel


Okay, I fook that chick. What was her name again?


Fleischmann song die teilebahn heinz strunk:

www.youtube.com...

Part X:

"What about your campainer, Sarah Silverman, Bernie? She's a free spirit?"

"Yes, Poopee, that's a good question, indeed. Answer that one, Bernie."

"All right. She does what she does but I have nothing to do with it, whatsoever. I don't let perversion-promoters be my campainers, if I can avoid it. But if they choose to be one, without me hiring them, what can I do about it anyway?"

Part XI:


"That's a telephone, Poopee. You can dial a number and say something like, "we need catering."

"That's a good idea, Birdy. Let me try."

"WHAAAT?!! That's all it takes to get some food here? Or...well...."

Part XII:


"You can't trust them, Birdy. They may poison us."

"See, Birdy? That's the problem! You nailed it. Im hungry, nevertheless."

"Why don't you put on a false beard and we go to some restaurant near by, Poopee?"

"Yes, Bergoglio. Why not doing this?"

"Yes, why not. You have some fake beard for me, Birdy?"

Part XIII:


"No, I only have some cajal-pencils in my make-up bag, Poopee. I can paint you a beard, a few-days-beard."

"And let's change clothes, Bergoglio. They are maybe out to kill you if they can. If they think you go out and have some fun."

"Are you sure you wanna wear a dress, Bernie?"

"Yes. I have to have that experience at least once in my life, dude."

Part XIV:

(An hour later....in some restaurant)


"I have a grappa, a beer, pasta arrabiata and ice-cream, por favore."

"Si, Senor. You like the Pope?"

"Why do you ask, waiter?"

"Because you wear his clothes."

"Ohhh...yes, I forgot. Yes, I'm a big fan."

"And you Senior? What do you have?"

"Tea, please. And Hamburger's. Do you have Hamburger's?"

"No. But tea we have. Anything else I can bring you?"

"I let my daughter choose my meal. I don't feel too well today."

"Sure. What does your father want to eat, Ma'am?"

"Nothing. Just bring him tea. He's on a diet."