Almost 40

And still single. Haven't even held a woman in the past decade. One bad relationship in my life and I can't get myself to even bother trying to be with someone. That relationship gave me a few reasons to lose interest in actually being with someone. Now I have even more reasons to dislike women.

It feels like there's no reason to live once you decide to not bother with relationships.

Anyone else lose interest in relationships and feel there's no point in life anymore?

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

Please don't say that. There is a point to life. The purpose of life is to live.

I just lost the man I love more than life itself to a heart attack. I am completely devastated and in despair.
I barely can see a reason to live without him here on this earth.

But despite my profound grief and sadness, tinges of anger and much despair, there lies in me a glimmer of hope that life is worth living, even if I am living it alone. I can't imagine ever finding anyone so sweet and kind and giving as he was.

Some moments I think there's no point in going on. But the purpose of life is to live. So, I am going to try my hardest to find reasons to go on.

If I can do it, after losing my husband at a young age and now my sweetheart who I only got to spend 8 months with before he died, you can too.

And 40 is still so young. You have time to find a woman to love.

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

It always seems when you spend too much time looking for a relationship
it never happens.When you stop looking and just continue living your
life that is when it seems you find that someone special.

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: Iamtherealgod

It always seems when you spend too much time looking for a relationship
it never happens.When you stop looking and just continue living your
life that is when it seems you find that someone special.

^^^^^ This is Way too true.

Part of the reason I say this is I have found after my first Divorce after a short failed marriage then two failed almost married read as engaged, that when I decided that I did not need a relationship to be happy, that I could get to happy just fine on my own. I met my second wife. And it has been almost 10 years now of a great relation ship. But I did have a dry patch of about 15 years give or take a month or 3.

Do not give up hope, instead start enjoying life and having fun, for some sick and twisted reason it seems to draw Romantic interest like moths to a porch light. Double so if you got the goods like your own place, your own ride, and got stuff squared away...

If you don't find love, it might just find you. You have many years ahead of you yet. Don't judge all woman because of one bad apple. There are some amazing people out there in the world. You don't have to be alone. Hold onto hope, be yourself and get back out there and try to meet someone. You just might surprise yourself!

a reply to: Galadriel

You have touched my heart and have my deepest sympathy in your loss my Elven Sister!

a reply to: CoBaZ

I was married the first time when I was 19,had a baby when 20 and
divorced when 21.I didn't get married again until 2002 when I was
47.I had given up ever getting married again.I even bought a house
and thought that was it.I lived in my house for 2 years then I met
my husband.

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

Brother we've had many of these types of threads by new members lately, im starting to think the new age is handicapping us. However, there must be deeper issues, what have you tried? how do you live? please explain more and maybe we all can offer more helpful advice, im sorry you are lonely that's no kind of way to live.. Explain more

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

I feel relationships are an example of "what you exude, you attract"

Believe me man, ive been super frustrated with women plenty of times in the past. But by putting out that energy, you're repelling positive people away.

Metaphysics!

a reply to: TechniXcality

There's so many reasons I don't trust or desire a relationship anymore. My family tried to get me to be with them so now I often have to think of them when I think of being intimate. it just triggers. Another reason is I was gassed out before then molested and raped. People are such disgusting creeps. I have so many reasons to not trust others or want to be with them. When your mind gets tainted by things like being raped everything is miserable.

a reply to: Iamtherealgod


How horrible for you! I am so sorry to hear this. I have known a few people who were molested or raped and luckily they were able to have normal relationships after. My heart goes out to you. Perhaps try to find a good woman friend for companionship. Go to movies and dine out and do things together. There are women who don't want to get deeply involved again in a relationship themselves. Who knows, maybe from that friendship and trust something can grow from that.

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

Yep had the heart ripped out of my chest put in a blender a frappe'd myself haven't bothered since- instead ive travelled the world and got my own little place with palm trees and a pool in the sun.Life goes on the black cloud goes eventually but my desire for female companionship was permanently cured and with time you dont miss it.

Thanks for opening up with us, its very important to share when your down, alot of people have or are going through what your living right now.

I personaly went to hell and back, so dont be shy and sent me a private msg at any time of day ill make time for you, your never alone.

originally posted by: dukeofjive696969
Thanks for opening up with us, its very important to share when your down, alot of people have or are going through what your living right now.

I personaly went to hell and back, so dont be shy and sent me a private msg at any time of day ill make time for you, your never alone.

I wouldn't say I'm loving any of this.

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

Sorry i meant so say living in hard times, you gotta figure out what makes you happy, you are the sole person who knows what makes you happy.

I don't want to take over your thread, but like i said send me a private msg, if you need a friend

Oh and my grammar is horrible sorry

a reply to: Iamtherealgod
We need to go fishing. It's the cure all.

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

Seems as though you are putting the cart before the horse here somewhat.

If you are not open to someone coming into your life, that will show in every little thing you do, even if you attempt to mask it. The set of your shoulders, no matter how you account for it, the tensile situation of your back muscles, the tiny movements of your facial muscles, the way the flesh around your eyes moves when you receive informational and emotional input.

Why? Because someone broke you up pretty well, and then time continued to break you down further, which it was able to do because you have not fixed yourself. Let's look at this from a simple perspective.

You have a car, and a long journey to take. The car has seen better days, because its tires are rotting, it's brake pads are worn down, the head gasket needs some work, the radiator is one serious exertion away from exploding. You wouldn't drive that car to the store, let alone from one side of your state or district to the other, not until you have taken care of it some, put some effort into maintaining it.

Living life with someone is like being on a journey, and if you want someone to take that journey with you, you need to get your maintenance on, get out of the mindset you are in, because no one is going to elect to take a journey with you until you do. It's hard enough to find someone who is worth being around, without scuppering yourself. But it sounds like you are trying to find someone to be with because that will fix things, and trust me when I tell you this:

That is the wrong way around.

I hope you find a way past this, into a situation where you would be looking for someone from positive position, rather than one of negativity, and that when you do fix your subframe and get out there, that it works out for you. But really, learning to live with yourself in peace is essential if you want someone to share your life with. Otherwise, you could date every lass in the state, or the nation for that matter, and never have it work out.

Best of luck!

Don't let a bad relationship or breakup color the rest of your life. It's hard, I know, but if you let it, you'll just be making yourself miserable. I got divorced recently after being married for 20 years. Just out of the blue, boom!, everything went to pieces. But, after getting over being hurt, mad, sad and lonely, I find I have more time for Me. While the kids are in school, I go where I want, when I want, I do what I want to do and have more time to develop skills/hobbies. I've been a carpenter my entire life in one way or another. I grew up building things and then went on to make a living at it. Now, I'm teaching my self Japanese mortise and tenon carpentry, because I have time now to enjoy all the things I enjoy.
[ although the intricacies of Japanese mortise and tenon can cause loss of hair in large painful patches ]
Look at this as an opportunity to grow as a person and get your life in order.
Find hobbies, get out in the world and do the things that make You happy and I'll guarantee you'll find someone who who makes you happy. In this case, the old adage is true : One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole barrel.
Contrary to what many men have thought after a bad breakup, not all women are evil and you'll find someone who deserves you.

a reply to: Iamtherealgod

I am in the same boat as you. I've had nothing but misery from women. I just turned 40 myself.

There are plenty of reasons to live though. Hang in there buddy. Don't look for love,love will find you. Always pay very close attention to those red flags. So many times I have noticed something only to ignore it because of how I felt about the woman. Never again!

I've decided to never mess with another American woman ever again. No offense to any American women here,just speaking from my horrible experiences.

Trust me, an entire gender isn't out to get you. You had some bad experiences. Lost your way a bit. Put that in the past and move forward.

Be out there. Be open. And all kinds of positive experiences will find you.

Don't worry so much about finding "a relationship". Focus on friendship and connecting with people and the rest will follow.