Have you ever lost confidence in your ability to do the job you do? It's awful.

I'm not really sure what happened last week but I totally lost the plot fitting a bathroom with a neighbour.

I an not a proffesional bathroom fitter but have done it for years now, cheap ones, posh one's, shower rooms, wet room's, It is not rocket science.

Until last week I had not done one on my own for about 4 years and the last one I did with someone else was a couple of years ago.

So when a neighbour asked me to help him(as a complete novice) fit and tile a new bathroom for a bit of mates rate cash as had no work that week I said yes, not a problem matey, we will smash it up, put a new one in and you will have a top class job and learn a hell of a lot along the way(he had only ever put a shelf before and I had to explain what a chisel was at one point!)

And then something odd happened.

I lost my nerve. I started to worry about doing simple things. Really simple things like putting a toilet together or putting a 22mm isolator valve on. I was really freaking out and found myself coming up with loads of crazy excuses to not do certain things or getting my neighbour to do it so "he could learn how easy it was" when really I was actually to scared to do it and almost having panic attacks, I could not sleep at night worrying about really simple things and imagining mad situations that could never really happen like the bath falling through the floor and landing on his children before causing an electrical fault they set fire to his house???

I woke up this morning and thought "WTF is wrong with you??" went round(after making up loads of excuses as to why I could not help right now and he should just keep plodding along and call me if he needed guidance and flew round finishing the job with no issues.

I really don't know what happened and wondered if any one else has had a similar situation?

a reply to: nonspecific

i suppose if you not done one for a while and you just do odd jobs then i take it you have no insurance etc.
so if you did do a bad job then i suppose you will be held responsible. Such as ceiling falling through or maybe leaks etc etc.

maybe its because your human and you actually care about your work and considerate enough to feel ashamed if anything happened to his property based on your work.
if you are an official company at least you have insurance for peace of mind -

i big proportion of my job is Sales - sometimes feel i cant sell, other weeks feel im the best sales person ever. (not as much as i would like) - whether i do bad or good i dont have the worry of harming someone property.

could be many things buddy but i thinks its because your genuinely care and would not forgive yourself if anything bad happened. its a good problem to have .

The proper application of whiskey should cure this issue. Apply liberally to the affected area.

No but I once spent nearly a week looking for an accounting mistake before an audit No no crime. Just a mistake but if it's a small amount it's way harder to find than a giant amount. And I was working with all different conversion rates before the euro was used.

a reply to: nonspecific

Yep. It's happened to me.

I used to be a manager of a computer repair shop and also sold a lot too (three ships in different towns with different managers and then the boss).

I used to sell quite a lot and the repairs were also flawless (kind of an OCD thing). Then one day the boss decided to come in and see how I did it as it was the smallest shop of the 3, but had the most money coming in monthly. That's when I got some major jitters. Forgot what half the products were, forgot prices and generally felt like it was my first day.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

Best advice I can give? It happens. Get over it. Sounds a bit harsh, but if you linger on it it will always be in the back of your mind and will creep back and make you feel incapable.

There comes a point when we all feel the pressure of a job....it's not a good feeling.....at that point you need to refocus...get some exercise and fresh air, drink some OJ for vitamin D...take a vitamin D pill if you have too....you just need to recharge your busy and mind .... re focus. And could be some other outside factors involved ....Maybe there's a lot of electrical frequencies in that house affecting you ?. Is your neighbor pushy and your doing something you don't want to, but also trying to please them, and you are you the kind of guy who can't say " no" easily? Or have you seen horror stories lately , on the news, about crappy work and houses catching on fire? ...maybe those are working at you too....

a reply to: nonspecific

I am a locksmith, but the first job I ever had in my life was retail in a frozen food store. There I excelled at customer service, and when I left that job I carried that forward with me into the new realm I was entering into.

Confidence is a big part of customer service, because when you are confident toward the customer and the problem they are experiencing, they have confidence in you, which makes doing the job and getting paid less hassle than it would be otherwise. Over the years I have dealt with angry customers, not angry because of anything we might have done, just angry people looking to make their problems someone else's, and every single time I have been left to my own devices to deal with these issues, I have helped resolve them to the satisfaction of everyone concerned with one notable exception.

To say that my confidence in my abilities has taken a knock is somewhat of an understatement. I simply cannot trust my gut anymore, where dealing with the public is concerned. I am subdued, quieter than normal, more readily flustered...I am actually going to have to go and get some counselling to address some of these issues, because this is not a natural state for me to be in, not in the least.

a reply to: nonspecific

Every day.

Every day I get challenged. Every day I think to myself, "Oh man, why don't I just sell carpet fragments in a road-side stand!"

It's normal.

I'd be more afraid of the confident man who never doubts or worries about the quality of his work.

a reply to: nonspecific

If you are an artist, or work in any kind of creative profession, this fear is a constant companion. I am a writer and a musician, and my confidence in my ability to do these things varies wildly depending on circumstances and mood.

However, I think what happened to you is a little different. Are you a martyr to anxiety attacks or OCD? Because what you describe sounds awfully like an attack — actually, speaking from personal experience, it sounds like the first attack — a very special nightmare that the sufferer never forgets. Consider the possibility that something of this kind may be happening to you.

I had something like that happen once. I knew my job inside and out, and yet suddenly I started to have memory problems- like I forgot to do things (even things I had done everyday for years without fail), and sometimes I even remembered distinctly doing things which in fact, I did not do!

Some of the mistakes caused by this problem were huge and cost my employer a lot.

I became afraid to come in the morning, afraid to be left alone, afraid every moment that I was screwing something up without being aware of it.
I went to the doctor, asked for blood tests and such to maybe find a cause.
I wondered if I was depressed and in denial about it.

As things happened I had another opportunity arise and I left, and had no further problems. But I never found out exactly what was going on.

I suspect now it could have been perimenopause, but my doctor didn't think of that and didn't test my hormonal levels, thinking I was too young... though it turned out I went into menopause just a couple of years later.

That is probably not your problem (I assume you are male!) but sometimes things like hormones can effect your mind and emotions in unexpected ways...

Another possibility I think about in my case was my diet! Because fo the very long shifts I was doing, with no pauses or breaks, I was eating a lot of junk food, like high calorie stuff I could stick in my mouth fast between clients. For the first time in my life I was eating sugary stuff like candy, chocolate bars, cookies, and soda. I sometimes wonder if it wasn't the bad diet and sugar that made me anxious and made my brain sluggish.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: nonspecific

I am a locksmith, but the first job I ever had in my life was retail in a frozen food store. There I excelled at customer service, and when I left that job I carried that forward with me into the new realm I was entering into.

Confidence is a big part of customer service, because when you are confident toward the customer and the problem they are experiencing, they have confidence in you, which makes doing the job and getting paid less hassle than it would be otherwise. Over the years I have dealt with angry customers, not angry because of anything we might have done, just angry people looking to make their problems someone else's, and every single time I have been left to my own devices to deal with these issues, I have helped resolve them to the satisfaction of everyone concerned with one notable exception.

To say that my confidence in my abilities has taken a knock is somewhat of an understatement. I simply cannot trust my gut anymore, where dealing with the public is concerned. I am subdued, quieter than normal, more readily flustered...I am actually going to have to go and get some counselling to address some of these issues, because this is not a natural state for me to be in, not in the least.

Time is a great healer as we all know and you have the benefit of knowing where your problems stem from. A bit of reassurance and some time to build yourself up and you will be back on track in no time!

As I think about this I am starting to try and trace back my own issues to a particular point in time, one where no matter what happened things went wrong and though although no fault of my own it came down to me and someone else to make good the problems created by others and it nearly broke me both financially and mentally.

Looking back it all came good in the end but as you say when your world gets rocked you can find yourself questioning your every move and it really can take it's toll.

I don't know if it is similar or not, but I don't give a damn about my job any longer.

I've just about given up. Where as the op gets anxious, I get complacent. I run a factory. It is agricultural, which are about the only factories we have left here in the U.S. I have to be honest. The place is a needy bi*ch. I know that on some level I should just be happy to have a job but that is beside the point.

I'm a salaried employee, I give it a good one on my allotted 40 hours a week, but when the needy bi*ch starts cutting into my time, I grow resentful.

They tell me to work a five or six hour Saturday, that is acceptable. Working an entire weekend though? Eff that. I just want to tell them to piss off.

I think I will. We have some new super that is trying to "take charge" and make a name for himself.. Eff him. I've been working the place a decade. He doesn't know sh*t.

I enjoy organizing the hourly folks against him. Safety in numbers and that.

Point is, lead however you choose. I once told one of my coworkers, "I really am a good leader, I just happen to be leading the rebellion." She laughed, but she has known me long enough to know I am serious.

If you feel yourself slipping, just ride the slide down with righteous indignation. It is the most fun way to go.

originally posted by: Astyanax
a reply to: nonspecific

If you are an artist, or work in any kind of creative profession, this fear is a constant companion. I am a writer and a musician, and my confidence in my ability to do these things varies wildly depending on circumstances and mood.

However, I think what happened to you is a little different. Are you a martyr to anxiety attacks or OCD? Because what you describe sounds awfully like an attack — actually, speaking from personal experience, it sounds like the first attack — a very special nightmare that the sufferer never forgets. Consider the possibility that something of this kind may be happening to you.

Yep, anxiety and ocd are the bane of my life.

Sometimes my anxiety gets so bad for no real reason that I can loose the ability to speak, I try to talk and all that comes out is "BRRRRRRRRRRRRR" "BRRRRRRRRRRRR" I get really confused and can try to punch the words out of my own head with my fists. Luckily I can usually see this coming these days and avoid it before it gets that bad as it is not pleasant for those around me.

I have number based ocd and also item specific OCD which is a pain in the arse as it comes on when I am stressed and for example if I am screwing a piece of wood to another one then I have to make sure I have the right screw??? sometimes it can take me about five minutes to make sure I have the right one and that makes it take longer to do a simple job which increases my anxiety and makes me worry even more.

Pain in the arse is an understatement...

a reply to: nonspecific

Is it possibly because you didn't want to disappoint ? High expectations of yourself ?

EDIT: myself I do it all the time (I do get anxiety but this is more about doubting myself)

And one thing the job you discribed sounds far from simple (it's actually impressive you can do that)

originally posted by: realnewsrealfunny
a reply to: nonspecific

Is it possibly because you didn't want to disappoint ? High expectations of yourself ?

EDIT: myself I do it all the time

And one thing the job you described sounds far from simple (it's actually impressive you can do that)

It is simple if you know what you are doing and I do!

As you say what is hard is the fear that you will fail or that someone will be disappointed in you.

That can eat away at your soul and will most likely become a self fulfilling prophecy.

a reply to: nonspecific


I suspect that it is age related.

We all have our comfort zones were we have a certainty in areas of our life. Often, our jobs, or perhaps an area of interest and competence such as yours.

Things I used to do without any thought, almost automatically, now requires an almost check-list like attention to detail.

Youth Vs. age....LOL

That period when one no longer is 'certain' of his actions/abilities can suddenly expand to a loss of certainty of self. Almost a doubt of self. VERY unsettling, to say the least.

That is the mechanism I went through. The recognition of shrinking ability in an area one wasn't prepared for it.


Your not alone.....LOL.

a reply to: nonspecific
It might have something to do with you getting zapped. Keep going and work through it.

I'm asking this seriously.

Did this start after you electrocuted yourself? Because if anything would knock your confidence...

Anyway, always remind yourself that you have perfectly handled things in the past and there is no need to think of yourself as anything other than a competent person. If you could do a job in the past you can do it now or in the future.

If you're feeling a bit unsure there's nothing wrong with watching what you're doing a bit more carefully but don't take it so far you impair your ability to get a job done.

originally posted by: berenike
I'm asking this seriously.

Did this start after you electrocuted yourself? Because if anything would knock your confidence...

Anyway, always remind yourself that you have perfectly handled things in the past and there is no need to think of yourself as anything other than a competent person. If you could do a job in the past you can do it now or in the future.

If you're feeling a bit unsure there's nothing wrong with watching what you're doing a bit more carefully but don't take it so far you impair your ability to get a job done.

It was before the bolt and if honest I actually made a bigger deal of it than it was to get out of doing stuff. I feel a bit crap about that on reflection.

I took an hour and got my neighbour to do stuff that was beyond his comfort level and blamed it on the shock when I could have had a quick ciggy and a sit down and carried on.

I'm over it now, it was just weird how it spiralled.

a reply to: nonspecific

Learn and move on

Not too much though - it brightens up a dull ATS session when you get into a scrape