Seems like after 40 it's hard to have any fun in life...

I was just thinking about something today. Like when I was younger I can't believe how enthusiastic I'd get about doing certain things. Had such a passion for a couple of sports, and just other areas of life too. It seemed as though having fun was a regular thing, which really helped to give a person a balanced and stress free life.

Then when you get older, well, I just don't understand it. Seems like the more and bigger problems you run into. Not to mention your desire to do anything fun kinda fades. I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a kill joy, but I'm just stating what I'm running into at this time in life.

I guess part of it is I don't have a family or anything like that and very little responsibilities in my life at this time. So maybe it's just having too much free time who knows. But still just seems so much like I don't know what to do anymore that would be fun at all. Just seems like life has become sort of dreadful in so many ways. Like again I'm really sorry to say all this, but it's hard to just ignore it and pretend it's not happening.

Like I'm really tired of this part of the country I'm living in and the city I live in. I also have no income which really is a big problem. But it's just 1 of many. I was thinking of maybe just moving to the coast at some future point. But that would be a bit of a sacrifice too in a lot of ways. The alternative is just go to the cost in the summers and visit for now. Then in the winter come back here where I have a free place to live. And just do that for a couple years until I can figure out if I want to move permanently. meanwhile try to solve my financial issues.

But do you see what I'm driving at here? Like fun is out the window in so many ways. Seems like life is nothing but a struggle. Like I was thinking one option might be to just go very deep into the woods and pitch a tent there and live there. Since I can't easily afford anything else right now. I know in some ways I should try to count my blessings and just hope for the best. But again it's just very agrivating as I've lived in the same place my whole life and I'm gosh darn sick of it! I can't stand it anymore. I need a change so bad.

So again anyway, back to the topic....The point is it seems like so many big problems can creep up on you that essencially life loses all it's joy and hope. It just seems so hopeless and pointless. And in terms of having fun, I just don't even know what that is anymore. Like I know they say you're "ultimately responsible" for everything in your life. And I believe that too a point. Because you can have bad luck. And if you have enough bad breaks in life it just can ruine you. Like you end up wondering what's the point of anything anymore. Call it a mid life crisis if you will, but it is real.

So anyway, I'm really not sure why I'm even posting this but I don't have anyone to talk to about it at all who would be willing to listen and or give me any sound advice. So I figure posting it here helps a bit. Let me know what you think of this. And if you have any suggestions on how to have some fun again in life let me know too. Thanks.

a reply to: lavatrance I think about this too from time to time. When your young and everything is taken care of by your parents, it was easy back then and things were super fun.
Now we have adult things that have to be taken care of and sometimes it seems the joy is sapped out of things by our responsibilities.
I try to find fun in the little things in life these days. I try to make things like traveling to and fro work fun. I'm not able to get out of the place I was born, so I find going around on the bus can be fun.
Having a little extra cash can help getting around for the day.
A day in nature was fun as a kid and can be fun now too.
My sister has a blast collecting sea glass and has found a bunch of sand dollars at the beach too.
Riding a bike was fun as a kid and can be fun now too.
Well, I guess my best advice is... what can you do now that you did as a young person? Just enjoy the fresh air of outdoors. When your young, the world is bigger and it is fun to explore. I loved nature then and have to remind myself that it is just as great now.
Spring is here, so I hope you find life a little more exciting now that everything is blooming and warming up.

I do know what you mean. In your younger years, goals and dreams are projected upon you whether you make any effort to determine them or not. If you aren't feeling especially imaginative, the world around you will force-feed you "things that you need to do or have to feel happy or excited".

If you are to lazy to imagine sky diving and go after it, everyone around will tell you a certain career must be achieved, or relationship, or procreation, or building a home.... carrots and belief in their potential to satisfy are always dangling in front of you.

After forty, the society stops hanging them up for you- they figure, whatever you were to build for the society (in terms of making more members, business, or shelters), your time for that is past. You are out of the race now.

Now it is up to YOU to choose what to motivate yourself forward with. You have to use your imagination, your self knowledge, creativity, and take stock of certain principles- like that the best experiences in life are accompanied by an equivalent sacrifice or loss. That is the nature of this world.
When you are young you can blame others as having caused the losses, and imagine that without the influence and interjection of them, you would have had all the wonderful experiences without the difficulties or pain. But that was not true. After forty, you must let go of that illusion if you are going to profit from life.

One helpful mind bender is to contemplate the pleasure that exists in loss. The sudden sense of freedom that is a part of it, which we sometimes want to ignore or deny because we feel we should. There is , you know, if you pay attention.

This can be a most exciting time of life, if you take advantage of it. You are free now.
But it is really at this age we come face to face with the reality that humans do not strive only for freedom- often we wrap ourselves in security, protection and submission, to avoid the hard part- choice.

Funny you brought this up as I was considering posting along these lines lately.

There's just an ennui that seems to keep growing the older we get.

The times I do get to spend with people I like are enjoyable and all and there's still a remote feeling of pleasure from my favorite activities(gaming), but it's not the same and worse yet, it's fading. The ideas, the thrill and the joy that used to come from life are vanishing.

Where there used to be potential, I now find myself asking "Why? What's the point?" to more subjects than I care to admit. And I'm not sure if it's possible to turn that around.

The older you get, the more problems there seem to be. I know! You mentioned not having any family and no one to talk to. No friends either? Perhaps find something that might be of interest and try to make a friend or two. Maybe something free like hiking or something. They can make all the difference in the world in your life. You always have your ATS family here to talk to you at least, so you're not completely alone.

You mentioned not having any income. Can you collect unemployment? Get on welfare until you find a job? There must be a solution out there somewhere. You just need to find the proper channels where you'll get the help you need.

I hear you pal.

I hit 40, then I contracted Meniere's disease and now life is not much fun at all. Everything that used to be fun and easy is now difficult and the motivation that was there just isn't any more.

But at least I had fun when I was young

You tend to have a lot more financial overheads at 40 than 30 which means that unless your business is going well, you will struggle. Also. People start getting sick at 40. Your friends get ill. Your parents die etc... its tough. I turned 40 last year and have had the worst year of my life. 30s were great though.

Now I find myself competing with animators half my age. Are they any good? Nope. Do they know how to deal with clients? Nope. But they are cheap. So they get hired. Very few people in my field since the crash care about hiring the best anymore. It's tough. I've kind of got a strategy to move off this field (3d) but it will take some time. It's tough. I'm struggling financially way more than I did in my 20s and 30s and i hardly ever go out. London has gotten prohibively expensive. And rent and bills rake precedence. I love this city but im getting out of here.

So i agree with you Op.

a reply to: lavatrance

I heard a quote once and to me it is almost the definition of what i once enjoyed

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

make new friends. take up a new hobby that forces you to get out of the house and meet new people..hell, even if its just fishing at some popular point, or like..art class, etc.
money is an issue, so obviously gotta consider the free stuff, but heres an idea..you got net access and discuss interest in sort of wilderness living..why not study, then make a series of survival videos for youtube. demo a number of different ways to make a fire out of nothing, different shelters for different conditions, etc.
Point is to keep yourself thinking, challenging yourself, and exploring new paths..else yeah, the tedium of life will grind on your nerves.

a reply to: lavatrance

The joy you speak of is a kind of innocence. Only idiots or alcoholics don't wake up to the realities of living by the time they are 40.

You are lucky in a lot of ways with no family or ties. You have the freedom to do just about anything. Go to school, start a business, buy an old camper and visit all the national parks this summer.

originally posted by: lavatrance
So again anyway, back to the topic....The point is it seems like so many big problems can creep up on you that essencially life loses all it's joy and hope. It just seems so hopeless and pointless. And in terms of having fun, I just don't even know what that is anymore. Like I know they say you're "ultimately responsible" for everything in your life.

Well no, not really.

We are responsible for the outcomes of our actions/reactions and interactions. We are responsible for our bills, feeding and sheltering ourselves and the results of our choices and the outcomes based on them etc. If lightening strikes your house and burns it down to the ground obviously it's not your fault. However, deciding to stay and live in the ruins is your choice. Being rained on for lack of overhead shelter as opposed to rebuilding or moving is a result of your reaction to something beyond your control and choice to stay in the ruins.

And I believe that too a point. Because you can have bad luck. And if you have enough bad breaks in life it just can ruine you. Like you end up wondering what's the point of anything anymore. Call it a mid life crisis if you will, but it is real.

Mid life crises are real. We reach a point in our lives where we ask ourselves if we want to continue down the path we see before us. Will we want to remain in the same Job, Religion, Social Club, Political party etc, and wonder what else is there to life that we haven't explored yet?


Perfectly normal, The pessimism aspect is the thing to watch out for.

everyone....

Okay well I take some solace in knowing I'm at least not alone here. lol. Well but it's true. My 20's and 30's were "EXTREMELY BLESSED". I couldn't of dreamed for a better time. Namely because my business was thriving, so I had tons of cash to expore everything in life. But now that's all gone and I'm living off what tiny bit I have left. It just sucks so bad. Like this is weird but I'm like shopping at Goodwill now. No joke. But I don't mind it, you can find some good deals there. I found a brand new fall jacket today which is super nice for 4 bucks. Never worn, has the tags and everything. But regardless, it's still so different than before. At least I perhaps have learned to appreciate the value of a dollar now. I just got to keep trying I guess. That's all you can do really. But ya I hear you guys. it's just weird. But that's the thing, part of me thinks I should try and make a move before I get too old to even try. My biggest obstical though is leaving all my friends and family. But in reality I'm only really close to like 1 person. All the rest I just don't have any emotional ties to so it wouldn't be as hard to just call or visit once in a while to get my socializing with them.

But ya I don't understand it, like when your young everything is so fun. Especially dating was a lot more fun than now. now it's such a pain. It's just nuts. But I don't know, I still have tons of stuff to be thankful for. I really shouldn't complain. But ya I might have to do some research into learning more about what things I could try to maybe fix things.

But I think part of it too is that when you're young you're so naive about life. Which is actually beautiful, because you don't need to over analyse everything or worry about everything. Now that I'm older, and I tend to think I know a whole lot about so many things it almost hurts me in some ways. For example I want nothing to do with living on the grid anymore. Because I feel like it's a complete and total joke. It's completely fake. Like the more you know about that stuff the more you eventually realize that the system just has too many flaws in it to be worth working for. Like you can work your butt off for years and years, decades even, only too have Big B steal everything overnight. Which you eventually realize is there full time job. That's there roll in society is to sheir the sheep. And like someone put it too me, there's no hard feelings, it's like the lion who kills it's pray, they have no hard feelings, but they want to eat or need to eat. And if you're an easy target, like your keep your money in a back account, you own a house, and your all on the grid, well then your only option as I see it is to be working a regular 9 to 5 job for an employer. That's your only option when living on the gird. Which is rediculous. I mean last time I checked i thought we were living in a free country where you could carve out your own path, ie: starting a business etc etc. But apparently not. Not a chance. Not in north american anyway. Way too risky. Sorry I'm ranting but I'm just telling you what I feel about this gong show of continent. It's a joke.

But yet we're suppose to feel all grateful that we at least have good infrastructure. But if every thing we learn about EVERYTHING is 110% designed to screw us in life then that's a scam. Like we're lied to our whole lives about everything. But I don't know whatever. I guess life could always be worse right. We could be living in Africa starving right.

It's just frustrating when it's like your always "trying to make the best of it" but not really able to escape the rat trap were caught up in. I don't know I guess I shouldn't complain but again it's just very frustrating.

But I sometimes tend to think of the economics of life. Like often when things are bad, they tend to improve again. it's like life is always got seasons or is cyclical. I suppose we're meant to feel hardship too so that we can appreciate success all the more later on if and when it shows up. (and all that jazz right).

I don't know I think I'm just gonna try and move within the next year if I can. See what happens. I know all my people here aren't going anywhere so I can always come back if things aren't working out. But really to never try would be asinine. I got at least see how things are in another province. Might have to live in my van for a while though. Which might suck. But I have some ideas for getting a place which I think might work out. At least I hope so.

But ya it sounds like I'm not alone, wow. I suppose everyone has problems. I just dont' recall ever having this many problems. But ya I don't know what to tell you guys. I heard a saying that the future will be what you show up with. It is true to some degree, even luck aside. So if you can at least make minimal progress on steps to improve areas of your life, then gradually things can improve even if it takes a while. But I don't know. I'm gonna go watch my show. I'm watching The 100. It's a great series of anyone is looking for a new show to get into.

a reply to: SLAYER69

ya but have you ever had some serious bad luck? It does come about sometimes. And those things come out of left feild and can ruine your life. And ya you're suppose to be all responsible about it too. But the wrong streak of bad luck can really devistate you. Now everyone is fortunate enough to experience that level of misery. And get one of those gifts of life. But what I find is that it's lamost like you can get ptsd. Like life makes no sense anymore. Like you're all dazed and confused and you really don't know what to do next. meanwhile you're caught up in a fog of disappointment. I know that everyone crashes there car eventually but if you get hit hard enough you're not gonna get behind the wheel (okay in the background the song "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's child just came one....oh boy). That's the other thing the universe ALWAYS does to me too. I get these hints or clues that spring up when I need them the most. But often that's all they are. Like I get thrown a bone. I need more than a bone. I need a few million in order to get back on my feet. How's that gonna happen. I'd pretty much need a miricle or I'll have a pretty goofy retirement.

a reply to: Night Star

Even if I could get a hand out I'd rather starve than be put in a position where I have to deal with tptb. That's nuts. Nazi germany had nothing on a modern first world technocracy.

originally posted by: lavatrance
a reply to: SLAYER69

ya but have you ever had some serious bad luck?

Yes!!!

It's happened to me and in some of the most devastating manner and at the most unfortunate periods of my life.

Persevere

continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.

persist, continue, carry on, go on, keep on, keep going, struggle on, hammer away, be persistent, be determined, see/follow something through, keep at it, press on/ahead, not take no for an answer, be tenacious, stand one's ground, stand fast/firm, hold on, go the distance, stay the course, plod on, stop at nothing,

a reply to: SLAYER69

But but but, persisting is just so much more exhausting that it used to be

Seriously though, anyone got Mojo for sale? I seem to have lost mine

No , wait just found a thread that got my blood boiling. Mojo retuning

a reply to: markosity1973

The coffee thread?

Here is a song
It reminds me of when we were young
Looking back at all the things we've done
You gotta keep on, keepin' on

a reply to: lavatrance

Gym
Climbing
Mountainbike
BMX
Reading
Running
Skateboard

The list can go on forever.I went to a Mountainbike Park last Friday.(St. Andreasberg in the Harz Mountains,N.Germany)

It was my 45th birthday.

Don't give up,don't stop.

Don't stop having fun.

Hang in there mate. I had my worst year at age 19 that left me still partially disabled due to an accident. Fun was hard for a long time. I am getting back to it. We all have our #ty times i guess is what I am trying to say. Life is about enjoying the short moments of bliss between the turmoil patches.