The F-Bomb Is Diffused

I try to keep my posts rated “G”.
But because of the subject matter, this post may slide into “PG” or maybe “PG-13″.
I don’t actually use or print out the “F” word in this post.
But because it’s a topic of my discussion, you will think about it.
If children should ask what it is, or if you don’t want to think about it (Bravo by the way.) please in your reading, and in your mind, substitute it with the word “FERP”.
The most vile and heinous of all words.
A word so low none dare define it out loud or in print.
With that in mind let us proceed.

( “Proceed with caution sir, you walk upon thin ice.” )

I lament the common use of the “F” word in everyday conversation by so many.
It is also referred to as the “F-Bomb” but the F-bomb doesn’t seem to have much explosive power to it anymore.
It’s lost it’s shock effect. You hear it now everywhere. In movies and television.
In schoolyards and grocery stores. From the mouths of politicians and little old ladies.
The more it is said, the more common it becomes, the less power it has.
Some may think, “Good it’s only a word”, and “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
We all know that’s not true. Words can hurt.
Words have power. Words can heal. Words can inspire.
And words are great for insults.

( “I need a word for this.” )


I have never been one given to swearing.
Or as some would say “use vulgar language”.
Usually when angry or if I injure myself I use other words beside the traditional “swear” words.
If I hit my thumb with a hammer, I may say “OUCH!” or perhaps the ever popular,
“AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!” but never “#@#!!##*%!!”
It’s just not my style.

( “Merciful heavens, that smarts like the Dickens!” )


Not that I never use these words. I wield them like a sword.
A weapon to be used in battle, or as a display of great anger.
Those who know me understand when they hear me use such language there is something seriously disturbing occurring.
And if I use the “F’ word? This is the most powerful device in my aggressive vocabulary.
It is my atomic weapon. Truly for me it is the “F-Bomb”.
When said around friends and family there is shock and awe.
The atmosphere is charged. Something monumental has occured.
This is serious.

But if I say it in front of strangers.
The F-bomb is a dud. No one notices. No one cares.
They hear it all the time. It has no power. No effect.

Now what does a person do when they want to express themselves in an extreme vocal display?
I would like to recommend everyone who uses the F-word to file it somewhere in their mind.
Locked away to be only used for emergencies.
The fact is, using other words in place of the common F-word will spur creativity and possibly be far more insulting.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Let’s take the same situation expressed two different ways.

Example 1.

“Oh yeah, well F#$@ Off!”


Example 2.

“You ladle of soup from a boiling commode!”


See how much more impact the language has in the second example.
It is more creative and colorful. It make an impression.
It could possibly diffuse a situation because of its’ imagery.
It puts the speaker at an advantage.
The recipient now must come up with his own clever retort or risk losing the argument.
Or he may just laugh and end the tension.
You win.
I realize in the heat of battle your mind not be clear enough to construct a colorful insult.
(At this point in an argument one often resorts to insults.)
Therefore I’ve put together a few examples that you may study and recall for future reference.

“You gaseous bag of stomach vapors.”


“You sour drink from a fat mans seat cushion.”


“You steaming mound of animal droppings.”


“You disgusting smear on the bottom of an old woman’s shoe.”


“You foul pool of mysterious liquid.”


“You rotten tooth in the mouth of an old drunk.”


You can see how effective these replies are over common vulgarity.
You may with practice, construct an insult so clever,
that the recipient won’t realize how devastatingly he is being put down.
And the F-bomb remains locked away.
In storage for the most extreme , desperate emergency.

If everyone would make an attempt to be more creative in their insult and angry conversation,
the world would be a bit more clever.
And the F-bomb would regain it’s power.

My all time favorite, you son of a thousand fathers.

a reply to: Errollorre

What's really funny?


I can say "Intercourse" and it's perfectly acceptable! Yet if I spell it with 4 different letters? It's unacceptable!!! roflmao

Not to mention, but the whole idea of swearing was using the Lord's name in vain?


I guess political correctness has evolved to a point of utter ridiculousness?


Nice post!

For one, it's just an arrangement of letters. In that regard, lighten up.

I am someone who swears all the time. My parents did as well. But we (us kids) were taught to be smart and not say it at the wrong times (i.e. in school, in front of other parents, out of anger... f-you, name calling etc.). Mainly used as a descriptive term or to add emphasis.

For me, I'd rather take the power away from the word. The less hateful off-the-cuff "power" the better.

That said, I'm all in support of creative language. And not relegating this creativity just to insults, but to all walks of speaking. Witty language wins every time. So you have my support for that anyway.

originally posted by: okrian
For one, it's just an arrangement of letters. In that regard, lighten up.

I am someone who swears all the time. My parents did as well. But we (us kids) were taught to be smart and not say it at the wrong times (i.e. in school, in front of other parents, out of anger... f-you, name calling etc.). Mainly used as a descriptive term or to add emphasis.

For me, I'd rather take the power away from the word. The less hateful off-the-cuff "power" the better.

That said, I'm all in support of creative language. And not relegating this creativity just to insults, but to all walks of speaking. Witty language wins every time. So you have my support for that anyway.

I was brought up the same way.

But now? Meh, I enjoy cussing like a sailor just to see the offended looks on the faces of all those special snowflakes!

If my words can hurt you? Why do I need a weapon! lmao

The better we comprehend our native language, the less we find ourselves resorting to vulgarities to express our point of view.

a reply to: Errollorre
I thought this was the F word.

I'm kidding. I say it almost every day, with good reason. I also find that it has some uses for insults:
F face
F bag
F head
F hole
F wipe

I could go on and on. I really could.

I rarely swear.

In fact, I gave birth to a 10lb child. I could hear other women in the hospital ward screaming and swearing. Yes, obviously I was in pain, but the worst thing that I uttered? "Far out!"

I used to swear like a sailor, back when I had a group of friends who swore literally every second word and their manners rubbed onto me. But there really is no need. I type the words more than I actually say them, and like you, the people who know me know to step back and gasp in shock, knowing that something must be terribly wrong, when such obscenities leave my mouth.

I love your post though! And I intend to steal a few of those quotes for myself.

a reply to: Errollorre

Just bumping this thread, dropping in to say:

This thread and its intended message both receive the TrueBrit mark of approval, for being entirely dignified and spreading classiness about the place like a trebuchet full of invitations to a piano recital.

Jolly good! Carry on!

originally posted by: Klassified
The better we comprehend our native language, the less we find ourselves resorting to vulgarities to express our point of view.

This is true and even when someone is very intelligent they don't seem so when there are so few words they can come up with. The life I have lived I have been around a lot of low language, I feel better as person now that I no longer imbibe!

Well done! Effin A!!!

Also a star and an effin F...

My contributions:

- You simmering bowl of sun ripened camel flops

- You foul colored pile of slime slathered snail secretions

- You diaper full of regurgitated worm squeezings

a reply to: Errollorre

Another great thread. Rock on.

The sad thing is that a lot of people who resort to excessive use of language mainly do it because they just don't have the vocabulary to express things any other way. So they pepper their sentences with the big bads on a seeming every other word basis. It gets old fast, especially if you're sitting a couple tables away with a kid who has a tendency to pick up random words he hears and them suddenly debut at the most inopportune times out of the blue two or ever three weeks later.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
My contributions:

- You simmering bowl of sun ripened camel flops

- You foul colored pile of slime slathered snail secretions

- You diaper full of regurgitated worm squeezings

Now we're talking.

I like motherless son of a flat-footed camel.

originally posted by: ketsuko
I like motherless son of a flat-footed camel.

You bucket of mildewed chicken droppings! You towel full of flop sweat. You scab on a streetwalker's rectum. You flea on a chinchilla's nostril hair!

How's that?

ETA: Your mother was a goat and your father was the dog that bit her. You fatherless son of a truck monkey.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Lol

"You law school graduate politician!"

(Apologies. I may have gone overboard)