Thoughts please? Confusing dreams. *Possible triggers*

I've had some less pleasant dreams in recent days. It's lead me to believe the possibility of premonitions and things I haven't really been lead to think about too much before. I've always since I was a very young child--have lucidly dreamed, maybe since about the age of eight or nine years of age. I've never really thought anything of it until the last year or so. I started to become thoughtful about my dreams when I stopped dreaming lucidly. I have a disorder that's called depersonalization disorder. When I developed this disorder it started to take a toll on my thought process and fog/cloud my memory or anything I even briefly thought/think about. The reason I find this to be unusual is that I've always lucidly dreamed I almost have never in the past forgot any of my dreams or not been able to remember them within the first few seconds of waking up in the morning until I developed my disorder, which I believe is a possible factor to the reason I can't seem to remember any sort of remains of my dreams. Out of the blue one day I was not capable any longer of being able to recall my dreams after sleeping. It was an odd change for me to experience. Whenever I do dream I feel as if the dreams are important or very traumatic to me and I am able to remember those. They are few and far between and do not occur often at all.

Anyhow. The first dream after my ordeal of struggling to recall my dreams was just a small simplistic dream of myself getting stung by two bees in the passenger seat of my car on a bright and sunny day whilst being stopped at an intersection. That morning/afternoon on my way to our local Costco we had been stopped at an intersection waiting for a train to pass. It was an extremely humid day so we all had the windows rolled down as my grandmother (she was driving at the time) does not like turning the AC in the car on. As we were about to continue on our way I felt a terrible pinch in my upper thigh and on my stomach. I look down to see two bees crawling away in between the seats. I began to have an allergic reaction and was transported by ambulance to the hospital where they gave me a shot of epi.

I never thought of it much more than a coincidence. But, I had a following dream--similar to that one a couple months afterwards of me being stung in the backseat of a car without my epi pen handy. That morning when I woke up, I immediately grabbed my epi pen so that I had it ready before we headed on our way to the beach. I don't remember as much about this dream, there weren't as many details, but once again I was pierced by the stinger of a bee. I thought of it as another coincidence but considered the possibilities of something more than a coincidence. I now am a little more aware when I do dream, and what's caused me to take the time to make this post is my most recent dreams that have practically scared me half to death.

My mother is dying from cancer. It originally started as sarcoma but along the way she has developed melanoma, liver cancer, and lung cancer. She is terminally ill and her whole leg is practically one huge tumor. She's gone above and beyond maximum radiation treatment and still continues to go in hope of prolonging her life. She is very underweight weighing roughly about seventy pounds and is at high risk for bone breakage considering her eating habits are terrible and the cancer is destroying her body. She's on crutches and cannot keep liquids inside her body. She has a wheel chair and a hospital bed she refuses to use and is at potential risk for paralysis. To get back on track--I had a dream of my mother coming home from her exes house (they're extremely close) and her sitting down either on her bed or on a chair (I don't remember those details) somewhat shaking and her body convulsing slightly. She seemed fine but was looking skinnier than I remembered. It's the first dream I've remembered having for a while. As I don't remember too much of the dream. I remember last night her being picked up by grandmother and brought back to her home, when she arrived I went out to say hello. She was sitting on the couch and as I began to talk to her she was convulsing slightly and shaking back and forth fairly hard. Her attitude seemed fine but she had the most disgusting look on her face.

This kind of left me confused and pondering my own thoughts for a while. I've become very cautious of my dreams now and last night I had another dream. It was my mother, she was in her death bed. It was in my room. I don't know why it was in my room. One of my worst fears is being in the same room with her as she passes as I have issues controlling my emotions that run in the back of my head and am not sure what my first action would be afterwards. I would never allow her to even sleep in my room because of my fear (sounds horrible right? I can't help it, I've tried). In my dream I didn't know why she was sleeping in my room, on my bed, but she was. She was covered entirely with a black blanket; head to toe. You could not see her face and she was faintly breathing. My grandmother had came in the room and informed me that the doctor had given her some sort of medication to speed up the process of her passing because of the amount of pain she was in. My room had a long heater, one of the ones you would find in a hotel that was set next to her by my bed. I was skyping my friends because I knew she was going to pass in my room and I wanted someone to be there for me when or if it happened, but for some reason I was allowing her to be in my room and I wasn't removing myself from the room either. The first night of sleeping in the same room with her, I was turned over in a farish corner of the room trying to cover my ears and fall asleep. She had coughed and gagged a few times which had kept me up worrying the rest of the night. That first morning her circles under her eyes had worsened and she looked terrible. She was complaining to me about how the medication the doctor had given her wasn't working well enough. The next thing I remember is the second night, the second night I vaguely remember, it was somewhat calm but she had a stench radiating off of her body and it was almost unbearable. The second morning she looked about the same, but I don't remember her talking much, if at all. The third night I remember the crippling silence, her breath had died down entirely and I was too scared to check on her until morning, I refused to move even an inch and had barely been able to get any sleep. The third morning she was not moving and her chest was not rising at all. The blanket still covering her head to toe, I remember removing the blanket only from her face and seeing her eyes opened wide and her mouth slightly opened. After that I then woke up.

I've thought about this. It has caused me many chills pondering my thoughts. I was discussing it with my friends and I made a realization that my mother, my uncle and his wife are all heading to the beach soon. My mother had told me not more than week ago that her and I would be sleeping in the same room. The beach house we normally stay in isn't available and we'd be staying in a hotel. My mother and I would be sleeping in the same room, and my uncle and his wife in the other. (maximum characters, I'll write the rest in a reply on this thread, sorry.)

I've thought about this. It has caused me many chills pondering my thoughts. I was discussing it with my friends and I made a realization that my mother, my uncle and his wife are all heading to the beach soon. My mother had told me not more than week ago that her and I would be sleeping in the same room. The beach house we normally stay in isn't available and we'd be staying in a hotel. Her and I would be sleeping in the same bed as well. I realized that I could not refuse sleeping in the same room or bed with her because she loves to spend time with me and be close to me when she gets the chance. So I would make myself put up with being in the same room with her even though it bothers me. I told myself unintentionally, not noticing I was practically referring to the dream "Oh well I could skype my friends at night to make me feel a little better, though I'd have to be extra quiet." We are supposed to be at the beach for three days. Hence the reason I am worried, because of the type of space heater I had in my dream, it was a like a hotels heater, it's the smaller details that scare me the most and that's why I have taken time to write these posts. I'd like any type of feedback on this, good or bad or any personal thoughts. I'm a bit nervous and shaken at the thought and I am not sure how I would react.

PS: Now that I think about it, before the dream of her death began, I had a dream of me hugging her telling her that "I love her" right before I remember her being in my room.

Thank you, and I apologize for the mouthful.

I hope it's just a dream..

Odd enough my first "psychic" dream was about a giant bee flying past me in the back yard with my dad laying bricks.. Next day I walked outside in the back to get my bike. Uhh what my dad is laying bricks and as I turn towards him I realize I'm standing next to the same bush in the dream. That's when this bee about 3 inches by 1.5 inches (quite fat and impossible looking) flew right in front of my face.


a reply to: Flannel

a reply to: Reverbs

I hope it's just a dream as well. Yeah, I've noticed (revolving around the people I've spoken to), that their first premonition dreams seem to fall into the category of insects and specific scenery. Just what I've observed though.

a reply to: Flannel

Premonition i don't want to be insensitive or scary but I would call it

lost ability to perceive time accurately our mind is only able to process present and recall past but there is no such a thing as future, present, past

Quantum mechanics and time dilution it's all one linear line of thoughts

a reply to: moments

Thank you for your input. You weren't being insensitive. I just really wanted people's opinions on this situation. It seems out of the ordinary and a bit off setting. So I appreciate anything anyone has to say and I consider all possiblities.