Not responding as a debate strategy.

And then you have people like myself who simply don't want to, and in many cases can't emotionally cope with, being in a "debate" to begin with.

Sometimes posts are meant to be conversational, or expressive, rather than confrontational or invitations for debate. Sometimes I need to be able to say, "This is what I think/feel," and not be called out for the choice not to respond to rebuttals, because I'm not necessarily there to get into a huge discussion or debate in the first place, and am merely expressing myself.

Not all of us are mentally well armored, and emotionally confident, secure, healthy people. Some of us naturally run from a fight because we're, frankly, not looking for one, and can't cope with one at the moment because we're going through more than anyone reading text on a screen realizes or is willing to consider. Not all of us want to defend a position, or are necessarily even taking a position, simply by virtue of expressing ourselves.

Sometimes we just want/need to say our peace and not participate further than that.

Peace.

originally posted by: BIGPoJo
I have seen this play out with every form of social media and forum based platforms all over the Internet. Is this some kind of psychological defense mechanism or am I just assuming to much? Anyone else ever see this behavior?

Nope, you're right on the money.

Change is difficult, especially when the change relates to some deep, personal, and long-believed concept that turns out to be inaccurate.

When you do see the rare individual come out and humbly admit that they were wrong, everyone seems to congratulate everyone else and have a good time and hand out respect to all sides of the argument for being honest and mature. It makes the totality of that thread all the more meaningful and fun.

Shame it happens so little...

There are two case scenarios in which I observe I have done that -

1 - One, is when there is a inability in the other person to grasp some major premise of what I am trying to say, which despite my varied attempts at describing using different methods and approaches, persists.
They may think they have it, and actually believe they have a valid argument against it - but their argument actually is way off base and the exchange between us is non-constructive.

I leave them to explore what ever unrelated thing it was they were focused on, because if their mind is that set on it, there must be a reason, they must need to do that.

(I have also been on the side of the one misunderstanding, and appreciate when they just let me to my side trip... when i work through what it was I was focused on, I usually wake up to awareness of how I was totally off on my reception earlier. )


2- No matter how interesting, challenging, or valid the others arguments may be on the topic, they are repeatedly mixing them with very rude, disrespectiful and childish behavior - using insults, personal attacks and characterisations etc.
In those cases, I see no reason at all to continue giving them attention. If they develop some communication and social skills later, I will engage happily. I try to always keep my mind open to percieving changes in behavior, not staying too stuck on a past event.

I like doing it sometimes, because sometimes knowing someone is stewing at your lack of engagement with them, is more satisfying than winning the debate. I also like the old saying, never wrestle with pigs, you both get dirty, but the pig enjoys it. Too many pigs on ATS to wrestle with.

originally posted by: BIGPoJo

Ahh, see it is a debate. I see I triggered you.

Ah! I hadn't read the earlier replies, and wasn't aware you had already worked out the answer to your question!

I see you did the thing you were asking about, and figured out it is done to "trigger" the person!

What does that mean, exactly, "trigger"?
You mean, you were trying to provoke? Make the person irritated? Pull their attention more strongly towards you?



Why do you want to do that? What does it serve for you?

originally posted by: woodwardjnr
I like doing it sometimes, because sometimes knowing someone is stewing at your lack of engagement with them, is more satisfying than winning the debate.

That surprised me because I tend to assume, when the person doesn't answer, that either they got a bit confused by my post (I do meander at times and understand others don't always want to follow along) so just shrugged and turned to something else,

OR

that they agreed with me, saw that they had been maybe wrong up to then and don't want to admit it publicly,
or are having doubts about their original position and need some time to think on it (and chances are high that they will come around to my view eventually).


Basically, I tend to think they are the ones stewing or digesting, as they come to my side.
It never dawned on me they might be assuming I am bothered by their silence and loving that.


On one hand, I wonder how terribly arrogant am I? (probably a good thing I got the heads up!)

second thought -
That's the good thing about doing the silent treatment - both are free to believe they "won" ! win-win

a reply to: Ghost147

We have a biological and sociological compulsion to never admit we are wrong. It's also why, if you truly want to convince someone, you must speak respectfully and kindly. If you're a twat about it, they'll reject everything you say not because it is necessarily incorrect, but because you are an insufferable c*nt.

a reply to: Bluesma I guess it depends who it is and the subject matter, but I admit I can be a bit childish in my debating.

a reply to: Eilasvaleleyn

That is so wrong and funny
It made me laugh

But so true
I guess my argument with your comment is only that
What is wrong for someone is right for another
We are all different and have a different opinion based on our life experience. If the answer is not evident or scientifically proven, then there can be no obvious wrong, just yet
Time will tell

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
a reply to: BIGPoJo

Don't interact with them in discussion like that again. Simple. Happens to me from time to time. Although ATSers are not prone to too much of that in my experience.

But not responding IS a valid "strategy". Either what someone says has nothing of value to respond to, or you just feel the point has gone on long enough (im not fond of saying the same things over and over).

^^This +
When a person starts throwing insults or baseless accusations, that usually means they have no more arguments so they start throwing everything, hoping something sticks. I usually laugh at them, call it out and then "x" on the thread subscription so I'm not tempted to keep belittling them and get put in the corner by the ATS admin for a spell.