Benzodiazepines.

originally posted by: Night Star
I take the generic brand of Xanax with no problems. It helps take the edge off.

Until you stop taking that stuff. If it's taking the edge of things it's working. Which means that when you need to come off it probably won't be easy. But unfortunately if you do need to come off you probably won't want to.

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: GoShredAK

Congratulations on the upcoming baby! And your wife really is a saint- I can say that without knowing details! I'm glad you appreciate her. Be sure to tell her - if you haven't. It can make a world of difference to hear "thank you for all you have struggled through ".

Stay strong! I have faced some really dark points, feeling lost and hopeless about my family's future. But we have shelter, food and many more things that so many in the world call luxury. That helps me keep above the water.

Thank you so much.

You have a great attitude.

I have told her, I can't express my appreciation enough though.

I had her read this and she smiled. Its very sweet of you to take the time to write this.

originally posted by: and14263
a reply to: GoShredAK

Yeah TBH they come in packs of 28 - the night before the flight a bottle of wine and 3 blue ones, another when I wake up, another bottle of wine and a couple more. Then if I wake on the plane, a glass of wine or a beer and perhaps one more.

So yeah, 2 really would work but given the option I take more.

Next time I fly my Mrs will be fairly heavily pregnant and the 3 year old will need entertaining so perhaps this is the opportunity to do it without medication.

Ha! I have been there my friend. 5 or more blue footballs, a couple shots of patron, and a couple beers makes for a very comfortable flight. Like a comfy time machine situation. (Also idiotic and potentially fatal, so no one should. Many do. Many regret it)

Part of me is sad I have to give that up but it helps that these hard times have left me with much more control over my anxiety.

Anxiety is still very much a part of who I am but it is no longer threatening to me after having endured the withdrawals and associated heightened anxiety.

Today is day 22 after quitting nearly cold turkey, still getting better

a reply to: GoShredAK

Well, I can relate to going through hell from your partner. Though not the same circumstances, I stuck it out. And while I knew my husband appreciated me staying strong in his weak times, he hadn't expressed it much. Then one day he did. And apologized for breaking me in ways that he had never intended (I don't think anyone really intends to break others, life just happens). It was a very needed acknowledgment that helped me to heal.

I don't know if I really do have a great attitude, because I do get very low. But really, there are people that don't know where they will sleep that night, or if they will eat today, or tomorrow.

I'm glad I brought a smile to your wife! That makes me very happy! I made a total stranger smile

Well It has been about 8 months since I took that last dose of benzodiazepines.

I still have some demons to conquer but I can honestly say I am In a better place.

I have control over my anxiety for the most part, I don't take any medication whatsoever with the exception of medical cannabis.

The lingering effects I have from the long term benzo use are I cannot drink alcohol anymore. It makes me feel depressed and crappy, then I wake up hungover no matter what, on top of that alcohol use seems to throw me back into benzo withdrawals for a few days.

So I have quit drinking once and for all, which is a good thing anyway. It does kind of suck that I am now incapable of having a few drinks on special occasions though. It just has a different effect on me now.

Other then that I just struggle to find mental peace. My spirituality and peace of mind have been greatly damaged, but I am getting better slowly but surely.

a reply to: GoShredAK

Have you tried supplementing with GABA? I have seen articles which talk about how benzodiazepines work by enhancing the effects of your brain's GABA neurotransmitters, and that in some cases supplementing with GABA can help ease the difficulty of going off medication..

...I know you're already 'off' the med., but it occurred to me that if your use of it had caused diminishing of your brain's ability to make GABA, supplementation might improve how you feel in general..

Another good supplement along these lines is L-Theanine which is an amino acid 'relaxant' found in certain kinds of green tea...(it comes in capsules - "Jarrow" is the best brand I've found)

...L-Theanine actually promotes the brain's own production of GABA, and has been shown to reduce anxiety and increase relaxation without sedating effects.

Anyway, it sounds like you are doing well, but I thought I'd go ahead and share the above just in case it might be of use...

Best wishes!

a reply to: lostgirl
I appreciate the advice, thank you. I have been curious about taking a GABA supplement to help repair the damage I did to myself.

I picked some up and tried taking it for a little while but didn't notice if they were helping anything.

I did some research and found that gaba supplements have a very hard time crossing the blood brain barrier so they never get the chance to work on the gaba receptors. So I am not sure what purpose they serve actually.

Also I was surprised to notice that the people on the benzo forums never once suggest GABA supplementation. They are all very adamant on taking as little of anything as possible and just allowing your brain to heal. Your brain is so sensitive during benzo withdrawal that the tiniest things can have adverse paradoxical effects.

For example, I could not take a single benedryl without it magnifying my symptoms and anxiety, while making it even harder to get a night of sleep.

It is weird because one would think a GABA supplement would be ideal for benzo withdrawals, but this doesn't seem to be the case.

I am going to remember L-theanine though. I am thinking since it just promotes the brain to produce GABA in a healthy way it can only help with no risk of adverse reactions. I think that is the same concept of just eating and living as healthily as possible. I believe the power of healthy foods and physical well being drastically reduces the negative impact of pharmaceuticals and drugs.

I think it is easy for us to forget how powerful food can be as a medicine. Or just how much of a difference our diet can make.

This is something I am guilty of, I used to be a health nut which gave me an advantage. For the past year or so I have been eating so much junk food, I really need to get back into healthy living.

a reply to: GoShredAK

Thanks for the update! Life is, more often than not, an uphill battle. But if we pause and look around we can get some great views!

How's that baby?

a reply to: chelsdh
She is just beyond amazing. It is indescribable how precious she is. I don't know what I did to get so lucky. It doesn't even seem real. I feel ashamed for times I have taken my blessings for granted. I also have such a heavy worry on my heart when I think about the uncertainty of our future.