Time For Me To Come Clean...

I have been thinking about this lately... I'm not in your situation but it does seem that the little time we have here we should do what we love... nothing is a waste of time if you're happy doing it.

Hope you enjoy your moments, they are all finite for all of us.

Pax et veritas

Perhaps we should have a weaving threads with color and soul day sometime on ATS, in which OPs are encouraged to get creative with their presentation.

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

it must be hard to accept knowing when and how even more so for family and friends
may you live the rest of your time to the fullest and surrounded by the ones you love, you will be missed here though...
hopefully you'll see other ats'ers who have gone on before,lol who know maybe they have formed an ats in the afterlife.

a reply to: ReadLeader

We only have one second to live this reality. What I want? I want you all to cherish whatever time you have with those you love. This is the most important part of life. Do not take for granted what you have right now in this very moment. Brain tumor or not, it can all change in the blink of an eye.


This is so important; we have but one life, one more second, minute, hour, year is gone; where did the years go? We are all one breath and one heart beat closer to the inevitable; I choose happiness & joy no matter.....

that is great advice for all of us!
to treat not just family and friends like we have no tomorrow but treat each other with love, kindness,patience,and compassion and laugh for gods sake laugh as much a possible!
here are a few things I've changed for myself to be a better person to others.
I found as I get older I've learned to be more patience driving because I have found having road rage on the daily seems to set the tone for the day,and it's a negative tone.So when I'm driving I try to think that maybe the person that cut me off could possible taking a loved one to the emergency room or a nervous first time father with a pregnant wife or that person just saved someones life or found a lost child or they just had a good reason.Maybe they don't have time left or any given scenario where that person may need a little compassion and understanding,who knows when you show compassion to someone it just might make their day a little brighter. I try to be more patient standing in line at a store(yes there such a thing as line rage) by someone who is taking forever checking out, again it can set a negative tone.If it's something positive it will effect them if it's negative it effects you.
what I'm saying is we don't realize that small things we do daily and how we interact with people gives us the chance to chose who we are, and how we see others.
give it a try and find that we can possibly make someones life a bit easier...how can that be a bad thing?


HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

my name is cody. i am twenty two, i have congestive heart failure, allports syndrome, and am a dialysis patient. i am so sick and tired of having to go to dialysis centers three times a week, monday wednesday and friday, just to sit in a chair for four hours and have my blood recycled. during this agonizing process my bloodpressure spikes, my heart rate climbs and flutters, i get a massive headache, and i get freezing cold and tired. EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING aches and hurts emotionally and physically. i am six feet tall, used to weigh two hundred ten, now i weigh one fifty. i feel like i'm wasting away and my time is soon. but i enjoy living, i enjoy just lying on my couch and petting my dog. i love sing my pc and talking to people online. i enjoy walking to the nearby quicktrip daily to go buy myself beef jerky, i enjoy drinking a nice cold glass of water, i do my best to FEEL and enjoy everything before that time comes. trust me my friend, i am afraid. as is your fate so be it mine, i know what is coming, and you are right in your philosophy to enjoy what is left.

when you and i die, we shall form an ATS in the afterlife😆

a reply to: AESTRODON

My heart goes out to you Honey! There is more than just your physical body and you will continue on after you leave here. I know a lot of people don't believe that. A lot of people don't know what to believe. It is the fear of the unknown that gets to us.

There are however many compelling stories that might convince you, like a child who dies and describes being with a Sister or Brother that in his life he never knew he had. Come to find out it was a child the parents had that died before the current child was born. The parents never spoke of it or showed the kid any pictures. It was impossible for him to know he had a sibling. There are people who can describe what went on in the operating room and what family members were doing and saying at the time of their deaths. Intriguing and inspiring.

I am so sorry that you have to suffer trough all the physical crap you are now dealing with. If you need to talk, just send a PM. HUGS!

originally posted by: AESTRODON
when you and i die, we shall form an ATS in the afterlife😆

I'll help. I wonder what the topics would be then? Mind blowing!

a reply to: AESTRODON

but i enjoy living, i enjoy just lying on my couch and petting my dog. i love sing my pc and talking to people online. i enjoy walking to the nearby quick trip daily to go buy myself beef jerky, i enjoy drinking a nice cold glass of water, i do my best to FEEL and enjoy everything before that time comes.

Thank you for the reminder.

I had one of my really bad days, today. I knew it wasn't going to be good when the pain awakened me around 2 am, and I couldn't find a position to so much as ease it up, even a little.

When I finally was able to put both feet on the floor and take two steps, I knew the only way I was going to make it was to keep on walking. After about 10 minutes of walking my body finally released, and while the pain remained, it was at least tolerable.

I just got back from forcing myself to run errands and do a few chores, anything for a distraction and to give life purpose. I was tired, thirsty, and in pain when I read your post. You helped me take notice of how cool and refreshing my glass of water was. I stopped grumbling at the pain, and addressed the uniqueness of each ache, where it lives, what makes it grow, what lessens it.

I made it a little game mapping the pain, and realized that it is a part of me, and it has its job to do. It helps me live and it confirms that I am living.

Thank you for helping me alter my perspective.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

peronally i ache all over sometimes too, the mornings are worse for me. i will normally wake up feeling nauseous and achy, from toxins causing my blood to become acidic, but i force myself to move änd make some bacon for breakfast, i swallow three of my phosphorus binders with my meal as usual, then after getting over the nausea from my phosphorus bindérs normally other than me being light headed, weak or the occasional aching bones my day goes okay. i want you to know you are not alone my friend, i love you, i love my fellow man and wish them nothing but the best in all they do. i think of others like you who are in bad shape every time i feel down. it comforts me to know there are men like me struggling the same way i struggle. i may not know you, your family, or your life, we may have never met but i do understand your struggle, the struggle to eat so you wont lose more weight, the struggle to just move and keep moving to just beat the aches and the struggle to survive.
i am twenty two, i won't make it to thirty, but i am enjoying éverything i feel and see along the way. honestly i hope you do too. by the way i enjoy cool water so much because my kidneys have failed and i do not urinate as an average person should so i have to be very careful about how much i drink otherwise fluid builds up around my heart and lungs and will kill me, since i cant have much water.... mother of god when i gét to drink a nice glass of cool water i am so happy, satisfied, grateful, and ÄLIVE!

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree


A toast to you and your journey.

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

You say that you don't want advice, yet insist on giving it to others. Well, here is the same from me to you.

First, a favorite expression of a co-worker is: "We're all goin' to die!". True. My take on the matter is that we are not bodies, I have temporarily left mine on many occasions, and will leave my current body for good when I am done.

Second, it always pisses me off when anyone listens to doctors and stops there. People who do that either have a death wish or a problem with too much trust in self-proclaimed authority. There are cures in the range of 60% - 90% for brain cancer available in Canada, Japan and Germany that are not available in the United States for various reasons. In your particular case, there is a simple compound used in Canada to treat brain cancer that is only available in the United States for your pets. It is not expensive. You can get a one or two week supply for less than $100 (you can freely order it for your "pet" from PetDCA). It is called dichloroacetate. Here is an article about it:

Dichloroacetate: University of Alberta Doctors Discover A Cure For Cancer

Basically, one PDF that I have found (Metabolic Modulation of Glioblastoma with Dichloroacetate) about the original study says it used "a dose of 6.25 mg/kg orally twice a day for at least 3 months". So, you will have to convert your weight to kilograms, then multiply by 6.25 to get the milligrams to take with each dose. If you take significantly more than that, the PDF says that it may cause some "reversible peripheral neuropathy", but is otherwise safe. If you have trouble getting to the PDF, search for:

Metabolic Modulation of Glioblastoma with Dichloroacetate
E. D. Michelakis et al.
Sci Transl Med 2, 31ra34 (2010);
DOI: 10.1126/scitranslmed.3000677

I am glad that you seem to be taking cannabis in some form. Maybe there is a reason for you feeling better. Maybe that's a reason to take it more seriously. There are lots of other treatments. In your situation, I would do more than one at once. See the following for lots of links in categories that I've collected over the years:

Sorgfelt's links for cancer cures

I have a lot of interests, but cancer has affected me and my loved ones, and I am so frustrated when people accept American doctors' abusive and destructive treatments or give up. I applaud you for not accepting useless treatments, but don't give up, unless you are done with this life.

a reply to: Night Star

hey thank you for all the kind words.
I myself am an agnostic man, I do not reject or confirm any god, and do not know what will come after death, if anything at all, I know that I must enjoy the time I have now and the connections I share with my fellow man.
IS there a way I can view people who have replied to me directly rather than searching through the forum to find replies to my posts? I know nothing of these forums, I only recently began using them after making an account.

a reply to: AESTRODON

Messages (the envelope icon) > thread replies (two text bubles).

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

I only recently became a member, but I have read many of your OP's in the past and while I have not always agreed with your opinions, I respect you and the contributions you have made to this site. I only hope that I have the opportunity to participate in your OP's to come. Keep fighting the fight!

I will follow your wishes and simply say to you that I hope you will find what you are looking for beyond the door. Positive wishes for these trying times. I will take to heart what you have asked of me. I will hold dear what I have and not take for granted the love of those that I have been blessed to have in this life.

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

I just saw this thread. Sad news.
I hope you are able to let us know how you're doing from time to time.

Best wishes!

a reply to: AESTRODON

Aestrodon. I hope you are still reading and checking in to ATS. Just want to say I'm so sorry for your struggles and pain. Life is so unfair. I sincerely hope you can somehow recover and be pain free.

Peace

originally posted by: soulpowertothendegree

originally posted by: mysterioustranger
a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

Hello Soul...since I know what you dont want to hear, Ill try to get across a few simple points. Dealing with issues medical as an EMT in Life Support, and Senior Medical Services, I've learned a lot.

Make each day be the best you can, however you can, and when you can...and dont be hard on yourself on a day you can't.

My theory on life...good-bad-health-wealth-positive-negative...is this: each day? I just keep moving. Every day...I just keep going. Maybe I'm fast on some days, and draggin' my issues with me like a chain behind on others. But, its all ok. It is life. I just keep going.

You are an exceptional person to share here. Why? Because that shows you have a great capacity to care...and to share. Seems quite DIFFERENT from the tone of your threads of late!! But understandable now...

We accept you as you are, and not who you were,or whom youre going to be. It's not what we've done in life, nor for how long...it's who we ARE that matters. And you have many here that would call you "friend".

Count me as one...Ill be looking forward to some more discussions with you!..for a long time to come! So just KEEP MOVING!!!

God Bless.........MS

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I am very tired now and I will need a break. I just wanted to respond to some of the replies. Love to all.

I have no idea how I ended up in this thread...

But seeing your final post on this thread was also on your last visit...
And then reading these words...

I am very tired now and I will need a break.

...Made me very sad.

God bless you, wherever you may be now.
Peace, Soul.