A Question For Gay People

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: HUMBLEONE
I don't really care. Honestly. I don't care. I really don't want to know what some other dude's weird sexual preference is.

Preference denotes you are making a choice.

Sexual orientation is inherent. Not a choice one makes.

Semantics Année. You know what I mean. Nicht meine Sache!

Gay guy, 49, masculine, "nobody believes I'm gay, etc. etc."

OP, I'm going to believe that you're serious for the moment.

What you're describing is (beyond the natural variations of "masculine women and feminine men") is cultural.

For 30 years, almost every gay guy (or lesbian) on TV, movies, the internet, etc. has displayed "typical gay behavior" ... so that you'll recognize them as gay (or conversely, lesbian) even if they don't come out and say it.

These behaviors (which are actually concurrent with gender identities, so actually that is relevant to the answer to your question) get reinforced with younger gay boys and lesbians seeing these roles and either consciously or unconsciously saying "Oh, that's how I'm supposed to act, talk, move, etc."

I can do it myself if I want to be "camp" ... it's cultural cues and behavior.

Ultimately, it has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

As far as your questions about sexual mechanics and sexual "roles" ... that's a lot more complicated than this forum will allow, IMO.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: OhOkYeah

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: OhOkYeah

originally posted by: Annee
I'm going to try to give you a serious answer.

Science has found sexuality is very complicated. It is not just male-female. It is all shades of gray.

Source?

Sorry, have not kept a datalog of 20+ years of reading and researching.

I don't care if you accept it or not.

That's what I thought.

I see these claims constantly that science supports the "gender fluid" theory. I've yet to see even 1 shred of scientific evidence along with those claims.

I do know that there are a range of mental disorders related to gender dysphoria.

What causes Left Handedness?

There are plenty of things about the human body science doesn't have full knowledge of ---- but, does have indicators for course of direction.

What science does now know is what is not a mental disorder.

Still waiting for the source. You said that "science has shown we are not just male-female but all shades of grey"

Please show me this source so I can become educated.

a reply to: Annee

Maybe in your office.

That is not the experience in mine. It is sort of obvious which are which where I am at. It's not an issue, but you can tell is all.

a reply to: Gryphon66

That I will agree with.

Most mass media gays are poorly written stereotypes.

originally posted by: zerozero00
a reply to: Vroomfondel

I see a lot of people picking up on my "ignorance" stance...I think I'm being diplomatic really

If I'm correct in sating the OP is bogus it can only mean two things...Ignorance or homophobia

I have a very close camp friend and to be honest I would never ever ask him "why do you speak with a girly voice" as I'm sure he would be upset by my stupidity and ignorance, also I'm not stupid enough to do it

For someone so proud of his diplomacy you seem to throw a lot of insults around...

Here are two people genuinely trying to learn and understand something that is foreign to them. And you respond by calling it ignorance, homophobia, and stupidity. Apparently this behavior is not foreign at all to you. You seem to understand it quite well. Not everyone does.

There is nothing about homosexuality that frightens me. Weak minds with weak arguments fall back on the assumption of fear to bolster their position, feigning some kind of self possessed superiority. Sorry, but it doesn't exist outside your own mental construct.

Everyone is ignorant of something until they learn about it. Stupidity is denying someone a chance to learn something so you can insult them instead.

originally posted by: zerozero00
I did say sorry to be blunt!

This OP is written with an ignorance disguised as a genuine question as this is just stereo typing

When the OP provides the statements that he accepts not all are this way, but is curious as to why some are, it is *NOT* a stereotype.

So many hurt feels in this thread...

originally posted by: olaru12
Stereotyping is very stupid. Not all gay men are effeminate.

Maybe you should read the OP then, and see that no one has stereotyped, except the people who come to attack him for 'stereotyping'...

OP: Not all are but some are....
PEOPLE: you're ignorant, you can't say all are...

herp...

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: Vroomfondel
The woman I knew one month before that would have been sitting there in heels and a dress, finger nails done and makeup and stuff. Now she was sitting there in army boots, with a crew cut and no makeup. It wasn't my imagination.

Society forced her to live a lie. She owes you nothing. It's probably not something she wants to relive.

Her real self is now out. She should not be pressured to look backwards.

Who says she is her real self now?

Her latent androgynous tendencies might be repressed by your overt and oppressive acceptance of her lesbianism.

Stop oppressing people Annee...

originally posted by: boymonkey74
a reply to: stolencar18

I know two fellas who are very feminine and actually speak very gay like and everyone thinks they are gay but are not.
No one acts gay btw people are who they are.
Who cares anyhow..

Right, and Julian Clarey was naturally always half in drag with fake moles on his face...

lol

a reply to: stolencar18

I have wondered the same. A good family friend, who grew up with my family, is gay. My good friends son. I suppose he knew he was gay a lot before we did. He finally told his dad when he was 17. He has since moved to LA and is very successful in real estate. He was always a good kid. But after he went to LA, he adopted the prissy like ways you see on TV when they are trying to REALLY make the character look gay. IF he's happy, then super. But he didn't used to talk like that, or act like that, so I also wondered why.

I don't know of a way to ask him that wouldn't sound judgmental or condescending, so I'd rather ask here, on an anonymous forum.

And before I am called a homophobe, some of my best friends are........

I am a hetero man, but have had many gay friends, acquaintances, and clients over the years. I have seen the outlandish and the very straight acting, and have seen both traits in the same person, depending on the sitting we were in.

It is time for us as human beings to accept people as they present themselves, and if we enjoy socializing, continue. If you find their behavior offensive, it would be time to find different people to hang out with. My wife and I love to sometimes hang out with flamboyantly gay men, they are fun to party with.

I can't speak to the lesbian portion, have only met a couple, and they were both of the lipstick variety, but know a boatload of married bisexual or barsexual women.

I know I didn't answer your question OP, but this thread actually made me think a bit on my commute this morning.

originally posted by: BubbaJoe
It is time for us as human beings to accept people as they present themselves, and if we enjoy socializing, continue. If you find their behavior offensive, it would be time to find different people to hang out with.

I think that sums it up nicely.

Excellent post.

a reply to: Annee

It seems to me Bi-sexual would be correct if she were still so. She now says she is really hetero, and that period of her life was a learning experience.
If this is true, then which orientation was she "born into"?

a reply to: BubbaJoe

'Barsexual' is not a term I have ever heard. Please explain.

I am interested in playing on this thread but I don't feel up to the
abuse I would have to endure,maybe later.Have fun with this one.

"she is really hetero"
hetero the lifestyle , not her orientation she was born into (Bi-sexual).
many Bi-sexual say they are hetro , and by that they mean that they live a hetro life.

sexual orientation isn't changeable.

a reply to: Annee

I disagree.

In the grand scheme of things, we each are unique. There really is no 'normal'.

originally posted by: NewzNose
a reply to: BubbaJoe

'Barsexual' is not a term I have ever heard. Please explain.

It was a term we used to define women or men I guess, that would make out with members of the same sex while under the influence, and in the case of women, to turn on their partners.

a reply to: Annee

This exactly!

Perfectly sums it up