In a Mirror

In a Mirror




You make me sad ...

Depression is your only trait
just the single side of your
one-sided coin. A drifter meaningless
in the world's wind.

You make me angry ...

Why do you persist against the world
when it's not turning in your
favor? Why do you keep going against the
tide? Going against everything I stand for.

You make me mad ...

Willingness to crave
is not a strong suit. Your
entourage of lies and delusions shatter the stained-glass painting called reality.

You make me lonely ...

No one here will
understand you. You're a coward. A
thief of your own dreams. In a cage
of your own design.

You make me realize ...

That life is not worth making
the trip. But still
you keep going. You leave
no other choice. You're too weak...

Too weak to call You 'I' ...

a reply to: Passerby1996


Ummm...hello Passerby...I really like the way you express yourself...especially in this poem...Trust me I've been reading all of your work...
You sound like a younger version of myself...

I wanted to relate to you that I used to be painfully shy and introverted...I was bullied...beaten...and slandered...
I hated myself for that...for my empathy...for my unwillingness to fight back against the injustices heaped upon me...

Then one day I did fight back...I was in junior high school...a much too handsome skinny boy who one day had enough...
I beat the living crap out of the next bully that thought I was a perfect door mat...All that pent up rage at being beaten down for so long...released like a coiled spring...From there I went on to become the protector of those bullied...I became everything I had previously despised...I learned to love fighting and knocking down the large muscular kids that years later I realized were just as lost as I had been...just as frightened...I would pound them until they shed the same tears they had previously caused in me...Gods how I hate that person I had become...

Life went on...I continued my soul searching...continued to write my thoughts down...The main thing I learned though was that I had worth...That I liked who I was and am...that I love life and living...that I choose to take a portion of each day and just marvel at the wonder of it all...
I suppose the greatest lesson I've learned is that it doesn't matter how other people think about me or what they say...I'm going to like them in spite of themselves...and I'm not going to let them dictate my mood or attitude...

In closing I wanted to reiterate how much I can relate to the thoughts expressed in your words and to encourage you to keep writing...you have a voice that others need to hear...you have a talent that others need to share...

Be well my friend






YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

That's very kind of you. Thanks.

I've never fought back throughout most of my life. It's a horrible feeling to be powerless, especially when your the one who's making yourself this way.

I'm the best I've ever been, but I still have a long ways to go until I can gain complete control over my irrational fears and delusions.

a reply to: Passerby1996


Ummm...your absolutely right...as it is for you so it was for me...I made myself powerless...

Then I made myself powerful...not by gaining weight and growing muscle mass...not by being the best that I could be physically...or at martial arts..(although I did do those things)...
Rather...it was through a transformation in my thought process...I made the decision to be strong in character as well...
I made the decision to look into that mirror that you so eloquently spoke of...and see myself as I really am and not as I merely thought myself to be...I'm kind...I care...I'm strong...I was not something to be despised...or mistreated...and most of all I don't deserve to be cast aside...especially by myself...
After all that time...the reflection in the mirror was me holding myself down by the throat...I had become my own bully...
When I realized that...none of the rest of it mattered anymore...I looked myself in the eye...and came away whole...

Much as it was for me...so it can be for you...look deeper in that mirror...realize the absolute mystery of the next breath as it fogs the glass...reach out and touch that reflected hand...fingertips to fingertips and like who you find there...
I know how simplistic these thoughts seem...but sometimes all it takes is a single moment of reflection and powerful epiphany blossoms like a geyser...

Be well friend...





YouSir