Treat others as a person you like and want to understand - The results are staggering.

a reply to: deadlyhope

Anyways! Maybe someone can come in and correct me, but I think knowing the enemy goes along with my original post. If you know the source of another's ways, if you know why a person is ignorant - say religion, lack of education, etc. You can better relate with them and have a real conversation and understand where their ideas came from and why society is the way it is.

Totally agree

Then there comes a time, after you know them (both those at the top and at the bottom) that you have to make a decision....which side to support.

I chose to support the downtrodden and disenfranchised.
So turn me into a frog, take away my birthday, and stamp "No Dessert" on my ID card (or forehead).....
I still will care about the people struggling to make a living.

I'm a fan of the advice in the OP.

A lot of people want to be understood, first and foremost. If you disagree, it doesn't mean much unless you understand what it is you are disagreeing with! Your arguments won't even be applicable or relevant.

Sometimes I see people get those mixed up - that "understand" is synonymous with "agree".
But for some people, being able to step so deeply into the shoes of another, and see through their eyes, is very difficult to do without sort of trapping them there - they find it difficult to jump back into their own view at will.
My father always felt that philosophy should be a requirement in high school or in college, because it is a necessary tool for living - to learn this mental gymnastic.

Their fear is- if I come to empathize or understand, than I will no longer be able to oppose.
That means that even attempts to make them understand can feel threatening; like attempting to coerce them in a sneaky way.

So distrust of each of each other is at the base of most really ugly clashes.

It would be easy to just judge that as bad.... except if it is true for some people that empathizing will bring about an uncontrollable change in them, then they are justifed in resisting.

I know that my discussions with people on forums over the years brought about huge growth for me mentally. Sometimes it was the people I clashed with most that had the most impact. Often it would be much later, that I would come to the conclusion that they were right - long after I no longer had contacts with them. Searching for immediate signs of result or outcome is sometimes counter productive.

a reply to: deadlyhope

Seek first to understand before being understood

There are people like you use to be in every single belief and culture or any religion or whatever background they come from.The bible warns of being so judgemental and hateful and that you must tame the tongue.