Are Multi-Partner Marriages Gonna Be a Thing?

a reply to: ATODASO

Polyandry would pull a lot of American families out of poverty. I have actually mentioned this in conversation to, very often, startled reactions. It would be a great way to ensure you have people taking care of each other, a smaller community if you will, and extend your familial base.

You could also have a greater spread of work load for chores and responsibilities.

originally posted by: WCmutant
a reply to: ATODASO

Polyandry would pull a lot of American families out of poverty. I have actually mentioned this in conversation to, very often, startled reactions. It would be a great way to ensure you have people taking care of each other, a smaller community if you will, and extend your familial base.

You could also have a greater spread of work load for chores and responsibilities.

I totally agree with that. In the short term only, though.

During WW1, it became important for women to work. Afterwards, men and women were both able to support themselves singly. Soon, employers and the movers adjusted by increasing profits while keeping pay low during inflation. Soon enough, it was suddenly impossible to raise a family on one basic job while, only decades before, it was sort of taken for granted.

What you envision would work for a while but corporate interests will eventually ensure that it will take three or four jobs to support a family. Hopefully, that crap way of thinking is on its way out but you never know.

originally posted by: crazyewok
I say why not?


Long as its between contenting adults I see it no buisness of the goverment how many spouses you have.

If I want five wifes then bloody let me.

Hmmm? But, I thought you hated Islam? You know the Qur'an allows for 4 wives, right? And the Muslims who follow this practice do it for many of the reasons mentioned in this thread. I get it! Maybe your "disapproval" is really a cover to let you "research" the Qur'an without anyone suspecting you of sympathizing with us? Now you see why our numbers keep growing, right? Muahahaha! (Sorry, had to pick on you.)

Besides, the Qur'an's other conditions for multiple wives are so strict it's nearly impossible to do it correctly. For example, the women have to approve of the arrangement, have to have knowledge of the other wives, have to be provided with separate & equal dwellings, have to be given equal things (what's done for one must be done for all), and they can divorce the man if they're not happy (and are guaranteed alimony until they get remarried). But that doesn't stop some brave guys from trying lol.

a reply to: interupt42

whatever

This is good news my friends wife is really really hot and she clearly needs another man in her life....im calling dibs

originally posted by: NewzNose
a reply to: crazyewok

You keep asking the same questions. It is abnormal by the definition of the word. It is the goverment's business because they create laws and it is every persons who has to warch the moral fiber of this country slip away.
We all get to view our opinions openly

Yes, we do all get to view our opinions openly, so what makes your own opinion about the moral fibre of the country slipping away correct?

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Hahaha! Typical!

We actually were propositioned by a man I thought was just a good buddy of mine about a month ago.

He said he wanted to bed me, and I was so caught off guard I just replied, but I'm married! and in love, and loyal!

He said, so we do a threesome?

Unfortunately, he brought this up when my hubby and I had just taken the four wheeler out and drank a whole bottle of champagne on a hilltop, so we just laughed and laughed....

The truth was, I feel absolutely no physical attraction to him, and he seems to be as into my husband as he is me, which hubby is not into.
I had to tell him so. Somehow he just wants to remain friends and doesn't seem embarrassed at all now. I'm a bit uncomfortable in his presence though.

This stuff is fun to think about... but when the opportunity arises, it's rather scary.

originally posted by: eletheia


LOL!! you can employ someone for that!!

LOL! I can see the ad I could put out now-

"Male prostitute/landscaper wanted:

Must be creative and open minded,
Enjoy debate and philosophical discussion,
Some cooking and dishwashing,
Must be willing to cuddle and kiss often."

For the sake of humanity, I'm really hoping it's basically just those who are pro-polygamy who are commenting here...I'm depressed enough about this messed up world I'm living in as it is...

We've actually had this discussion on ATS before. Throughout human evolution humankind was mated, a male and female bond, raising a family together. When they get old, after their kids have kids of their own, they then look after their aging parents. A mother and father both serve natural roles and hopefully they can handle the amount of children they decide to have. It's natural (the way nature intends.)

The argument that adding more spouses to the equation would solve martial problems rather than escalate them is downright preposterous. Human beings are jealous by nature. Sociopathic ones, perhaps less so. But we tend to build stronger bonds to some individuals than others. You might love different mother or father figures, such as grandparents, in your life, but your parents are the ones who raised you and in the end they're the ones you'll hold dearest in your heart.

Marriage is a concept of two people, in love, who want to share their lives together. It is represented by a wedding ring, which symbolizes the two united as one, and their link to that special someone. If people would rather sleep around, or have different partners, well, I guess no one can stop stupid. But when it comes to marriage, sharing your life with someone, that is supposed to be sacred. The very concept of the wedding ring is a romantic notion. Romance is more than just sex, but love, togetherness, the very experience of sharing the little things in life together.

Seriously, this world is so concerning...it's as if everything must go from one extreme to another. Either culture has to be super conservative, women need to dress appropriately and sex is for after marriage, and bigotry against anything different is encouraged, or EVERYTHING GOES--marry two husbands and a few wives, we'll live together (ain't that healthy!) Incest a common problem with polygamy? OH HEY, between adults, what's the problem? Long as they are at the age of consent, right? Legalize prostitution because women should have a right to do what they want with their bodies (long as they're legal age!) Legalize all forms of sex drugs and illegal pornography, because hey, people will buy and sell that stuff anyway (might as well tax it!) Public nudity--what's so shameful about wearing the suit God made you? Public erections? Hey, it happens...public sex? It's natural! We've already been witnessing the sexualization of children for cripes sakes, so just IMAGINE how far this can go...so far that it causes so many problems that people begin to return to a more spiritual and conservative way of life, and, here we go again...

Or, imagine this: gays can marry, people can see other lovers outside a marriage without going to jail for it, BUT, there is a line to determine how far is too far. Sound good to anyone besides me?

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2
Throughout human evolution humankind was mated, a male and female bond, raising a family together.

That is not even remotely true. There are plenty of examples in recorded history that show polygamous societies.

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2
Throughout human evolution humankind was mated, a male and female bond, raising a family together.

You are mistaken.

there is a line to determine how far is too far. Sound good to anyone besides me?

Your freedom ends where another's begins.

You have the right to draw your lines, (me and my husband have decided to stick to the "only us two" structure too, in fact). Between you and your mate, you can even decide together special lines like "we'll cheat and lie to each other about it" if you want.

But I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you would cause yourself unecessary worry and concern about what others are agreeing upon and doing in their relationships, if it has no impact on you.
But that too, you are free to do, if worrying is an element of your happiness in life (however strange it might seem to me)

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Aside from all the blahdy-blah-blah ... the real issue in your post is expressed in a very simple formula:

the sake of humanity = your depression

You seem to think that the fate of the world hinges on your personal perceptions and issues.

Be relieved; it doesn't.

if a man opts to have two wives, and if those two wives each opt to have another husband, who also opt to have another wife, or then......
well, you get my drift, one family could quickly become a village.....

it's interesting though that in most cultures, marriage and family seem to be oh so sacred, till something comes along to throw the population out of balance, then well, it's really not so sacred after all......
which just reinforces my idea that the defination of marriage and what a family is has been often redefined when needed as a control mechanism to restore balance in the population, or...the economy....
I mean in an economy where it's getting impossibly for a couple to earn the money to support their family, a few extra husbands, might actually help......to an extent a few extra wives might also but then well one man can sire many more children when he has a few extra wives around, can he....

to the person claiming he'd want to have 5 wives, well, think about having to support those five wives and the two children they each could want to have.......your desire just might vanish rather quickly....

I dont see why people cant have as many wives or husbands as they want?

Just have it your way!

originally posted by: FormOfTheLord

I dont see why people cant have as many wives or husbands as they want?

Because: The Bible*




*Except where it says it is cool.

a reply to: deloprator20000

Cool, so you are not mad assuming you are a girl.

a reply to: cuckooold

What makes it incorrect?

this is a sick answer to the problem,i would not share my girlfreiend/wife with some other guy,i suggest you all stop drinking the water ,and i thought you lot classed your self as intelligent.
wierdo's and freaks any of you that think its ok.

It's interesting to me how this discussion became about people's rights to choose polygamous marriages/relationships, rather then monogamous marriages, and overall I agree with the right of people to choose, non-conventional marriages/ family units, if ALL parties involved are happy.

Here's the thing though that does bother me, this situation in China is a direct result of the government controlling reproduction and families that has led to this "necessity" to accept marital relationships that are based on practical considerations.....in this case, not enough available women.

Sure, there may be all kinds of other practical reasons why polygamous families might be better able to meet the increasing financial demands families are facing and for some it might also satisfy emotional and sexual needs they are not able to have met in a monogamous marriage, but I really don't think the majority of people are "wired" for polygamy.....call me a "romantic"...but that's my experience.

It seems in this case it's the poor men that are having to settle for these arrangements, Again, just my experience, but I have never met a man that would be cool sharing his wife and not knowing the paternity of her children. I find the whole thing very sad and disturbing.

a reply to: ATODASO

I don't have a problem with it as long as all parties consent to it willingly.