Jesus AND Mary were GAY and practising, says the Bible

The Church is always telling us that the Bible is God's Word, is Truth and therefore internally consistent. And so, using that as an axiom we can prove conclusively that Mary was a practising lesbian and Jesus was a practising gay man. Joseph probably was too, but that's for another time. The 144,000 in Revelation are also gay and that's where we start.

Jesus being gay is a bit of a shocker for the non-Catholic churches what with their stance on homosexuality. For the Catholics, it's a double-whammy. No wonder Mary's statues are always leaking. It's because she's a dyke!

For those who won't think for themselves, the proof starts with the 144,000 who are (NOT (defiled with women)) ; (are virgins) as well as firstfruits. As firstfruits they all have something in common. The semicolon divides the 144,000 into two groups. We take the word "Virgin" and cross-reference in the Bible. Mary was a virgin and was female. Therefore all virgins in the Bible are female. Half of the 144,000 are women. The other half must be men. NOT (defiled with women) means making all the words the opposite so is the same as sanctified by men. (Note how with becomes by.) That means the male half are gay and still being sanctified. Because they are all firstfruits the female half must also be gay and being sanctified by women. So we have a new definition for "Virgin". It means "Practising Lesbian" and can be applied wherever the word is used because the Bible is internally consistent. Mary was therefore a lesbo. Firstfruit means "practising gay" and Jesus was a first fruit both of God and Mary. Jesus was therefore a practising gay male. The 144,000 follow the Lamb withersoever he goeth. Withersoever means However, ie according to manner. If the author had meant Wherever he would have used it. So we get the picture of Jesus walking/acting in a particular way and the others following. It sounds like being gay/mincing to me.

It's backed up in John 1 "But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God." This is always skipped by the Church. "Of blood" means descent or lineage. So who gets born without a lineage, that doesn't fit the usual criteria for biological life (the will of the flesh is the nature/biology of procreation and furthering the species) and goes against the nature/biology of the parents (the will of man where man is male and female)? It's a gay person, of course. Gay people are "Of God", says the Bible. Jesus was "Of God" so therefore, again, he's gay.

No wonder the Church has suppressed this. It would mean the majority straight clergy would have to be subservient to a minority gay leadership. The congregation would clamour to talk to the gays and the straights would be out of a job. All that power lost to a few puffs. So, homosexuals were demonised and ejected from the Church as sinners destined for hell. That's the way it has been for centuries.

Will it change? No. Not until the Church implodes. A few more nuggets like this and its sandy foundations will start to be washed away. Lies always get found out. They should know that. May the Church collapse into a heap of steaming rubble burying the straight clergy for all to see.

a reply to: TheLamb

I've been here a long time....but that is the biggest load of utter tosh I've ever read on ATS.



No offence intended.

Wtf did I just read? I'm a bit at a loss of words, I'm not sure that the veracity of the bible saying they were gay is very true.

Erm what?.
Does this actually make sense? or is it just my tiny mind not getting it?.

Seriously? Numerology to attempt to prove this?

I think you need to do your research on numerology, lamb. Every topic you make just gets more and more wacky. and the ones that already exist have consistent logical fallacies and suppositions in order to come to the conclusions you do.

The only thing that can verify that Mary or Jesus were gay would be other scriptural texts. Perhaps we will see it come to light from the many hidden texts that are known to be kept in The Vatican archives? But, that's about it.

I read halfway through the third paragraph and had to stop, this is some crazy # right here.

If Mary was a practising lesbian, wouldn't that mean she had been defiled by women and was not one of the 144,000?

I would refute more of what you wrote but I couldn't make it that far. Just another typical thread by "TheLamb".

No offense but your threads are way out in left field somewhere, every one of them.

You took being a conspiracy theorist to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. I bet the next topic will be how Noah Arc was actually used to carry slaves over.

a reply to: Deny1Ignorance
Or David was practicing beastiality in the lions den

Ummmm....

........what?!??!

After reading it again I do see it! do you all not? can your tiny minds (mine just got bigger) not see the truth in the OP?.
Behold the gays are the chosen golden children of destiny rejoice the message must be spread!.

I actually found this really funny! The use of language was very witty, well done.

originally posted by: boymonkey74
After reading it again I do see it! do you all not? can your tiny minds (mine just got bigger) not see the truth in the OP?.
Behold the gays are the chosen golden children of destiny rejoice the message must be spread!.

No no no. This is just a means for him to express his own gayness and finally come out of the closet. It clearly shows the OP's enjoyment in the destruction of a primarily heterosexual society - in this case expressed as the catholic churches current view on homosexuality.

a reply to: boymonkey74

So you think the gays are what god planned?

In my mind being gay is fine. I really do not care who you are or are not sexing.

"god" is strange.

First he hates gays then he loves gays.....

Are you sure god isn't a woman?

originally posted by: IsPopeTaken
a reply to: TheLamb

See this is why people make fun of the Internet

Anyone like the OP here can show up and dish it out

TheLamb

Why are you making stuff up in the bible.

Can't you disagree using already written words ?

Not to be insulting to the OP or anything, But if you look at the consistencies within all of the topics he makes, and you research Schizophrenia, there's a clear correlation between the two.

Even if Jesus was gay, people probably would not accept it anymore than people can accept that he wasn't European and probably didn't look European.

a reply to: arpgme

That's a very good point. People try to idealize their own image into Jesus for some reason, possibly just arrogance.

a reply to: TheLamb

You seem to specialize in very far fetched theories with no proof or evidence to support them,I base this proven fact on this thread and your other recent threads.

a reply to: TheLamb
Maybe you should run some of your ideas through with others that work with the same type of numerology you do.

Because although I find your topics interesting they lose me.