Most homosexuality is a choice

I believe that most homosexuality is a choice and most were not "born that way". I say this based neither on science nor religion but on personal experience. I find it unsettling that this view is deemed "controversial" and "unscientific". Usually when I share it, the responses are more angry than calm. And when people get all emotional in defending their views, it casts doubt on how valid those views are.

My personal experience comes from sexual relationships I've had with two lesbians within the last 20 years. I`m a heterosexual male. Neither of the women claimed to be bisexual, both insisted they were lesbian. When questioned about this, the first one looked puzzled and said "I don't know". And the second one stopped being a lesbian after our relationship. I share this not to elicit jokes or brag, but simply to demonstrate, from personal experiences, that the "I am a homosexual" - self-definition is not quite as fixed and solid as is generally claimed.

You see, when it comes to transgendered people, the LBGT-movement claims that "they are not born that way" and that ones gender is a fluid concept, a "social construct" perhaps. But when it comes to homosexuals they claim "they are born that way and that it's something fixed and unchanging. You see the contradiction in this? What if homosexuality is not fixed and that most people are not "born that way"?

Granted, in nature there seems to be a small percentage of humans as well as animals who are actually born with a disposition to desire the same sex. But I`d suggest that their number is much smaller than generally stated. More like 0.1% instead of 3%-5% (some have even suggested that up to 25% of the population are born homosexual).

The other reason I think that most homosexuality is a choice is because, as humans, we can subdue, change or manipulate our desires. Before marriage my sexual desire was all over the place. After marriage I deliberately subdued it to a point where I felt no desire for other women whatsoever. Prior to marriage I could also increase or decrease sexual and romantic desire for certain types of people at will. I realized that while we do have natural inborn preferences, at least half of it is determined by ones own will, life experiences, upbringing and the information one has been fed from early childhood.

All in all, I remain skeptical of the LGBT-communities philosophy that "it's not a choice!" I view that in a similar way I see obese people blaming genetics for their overweight rather than life-choices they make. I`d tend to say that homosexuality is something you DO, not necessarily something you ARE for life (unless you are part of the 0.1%). I understand that homosexuals who have self-defined as such for a long time might strongly disagree just like someone who has smoked all their life might find it inconceivable to quit. Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting you should not be homosexual - this is not a moral argument. I just think that saying "I prefer the same sex" is a more honest statement than "I was born this way".

The myth of our times is that homosexuality is not a choice and I`d much prefer that this dogma be examined in more detail and that it be acknowledged that much or at least some of it actually is a choice as well as a consequence of childhood experiences.

It would be nice if science could prove that homosexuality is either a choice or genetic. The way things are right now is that we only have empirical evidence available. If it is a choice then people should be free to make that choice if that is what they want. If it is genetic then science should be able to find a cure that could help people that chose to change their sexual preference.

Yet another LGBT Bash thread? I honestly don't think I can handle it! Why didn't you post in the one that's already 17 pages long?

So what if it's not a choice?

I believe there are some who choose to be "gay" for attention, mainly on the female side, but in general homosexuality is not a choice, I think it has something to do with how the baby forms in the womb. One theory suggests too much estrogen or testosterone being present crosses the wires so to speak. I think that's the theory that makes the most sense personally.

a reply to: Benevolent Heretic

Agreed. Did a quick search and there were 3 different threads on the first page of results. Do we really need another?

As much as lefthandedness is.

I found it interesting. I am not aware of the bashing though.
To be clear, I am not in agreement with the OP. I just don't see where he was bashing lgbt.

a reply to: Skyfloating

Every human has a genetic makeup that is both female and male, every soul has both energies positive and negative, for you to say it is not possible to be born in one gender but have more of the inclination of the opposite gender is ridiculous.

There can never be enough GLBTQ+ bashing topics...

originally posted by: Skyfloating
I say this based neither on science nor religion but on personal experience.

So in other words this is your opinion and nothing more .. Got it..

are you sexually attracted to women, skyfloating?.....and if you are, could you make a choice to change that attraction to men?....I can't, and at 62 years old, I'm still sexually attracted to women, never once being attracted to men.

originally posted by: butcherguy
I found it interesting. I am not aware of the bashing though.

Knee-jerk reactions. It's a nuanced OP with no gay-bashing at all.

a reply to: Skyfloating

As a gay man who spent his teenage years wishing every damn day to be straight, I assure you it is not a choice. If it was, I would now gladly make that choice, but it is not.

Ignorance is a choice, being GLBTQ+ is not. no one does it for "Attention" or to be "Special" or "Different"

originally posted by: jimmyx
are you sexually attracted to women, skyfloating?.....and if you are, could you make a choice to change that attraction to men?....I can't, and at 62 years old, I'm still sexually attracted to women, never once being attracted to men.

Given certain circumstances - say having a lifelong prison sentence and being surrounded by men only for example - my preferences for women might change.

In Saudi Arabia, for instance, because there is Apartheid between men and women, homosexuality is much more common.

originally posted by: Darth_Prime
Ignorance is a choice, being GLBTQ+ is not. no one does it for "Attention" or to be "Special" or "Different"

Science hasn't proven the reason people are gay so I don't see a problem with people that are questioning why this happens to some individuals. It is probably genetic and if so it could be cured in those people that want to change their preference.

a reply to: Skyfloating

First off...the act of having sex has little to do with ones sexuality. If I slip vegetables into my cat's food it will not make him omnivorous. He will still be a carnivore.

Second ...please tell us your story of how you sat and pondered having sex with another man(I am assuming you are male). Choice implies that one has at least two options in front of them and they carefully selected a course of action. So did you give equal thought to having another man your bed as you did having a woman in your bed?

Please tell us what finally swayed you to not be with a man? Compared to women they generally earn more money, are better protectors and have little or no gender bias placed on them. What was so appealing to you that you decided to choose women over men?

I am interested in your story of how you weighed your options and finally made a decision.

I have been sexually attracted to women since I was 3 years old. I do not feel that I had a choice in this matter. I am not conflicted about it. Why would I assume that others had a choice about their preference..unless they are conflicted about their "choice"?

a reply to: Skyfloating

Congratulations you have just came out as Bisexual..still not a choice though

Op, must the whole world be only the way that you perceive it or have experienced it?

originally posted by: Skyfloating

originally posted by: jimmyx
are you sexually attracted to women, skyfloating?.....and if you are, could you make a choice to change that attraction to men?....I can't, and at 62 years old, I'm still sexually attracted to women, never once being attracted to men.

Given certain circumstances - say having a lifelong prison sentence and being surrounded by men only for example - my preferences for women might change.

In Saudi Arabia, for instance, because there is Apartheid between men and women, homosexuality is much more common.

uhmm....ok, whatever floats your boat there, sparky