Manspreading Should Be a Constitutional Right

Manspreading

As various factions of our society have felt the need to profess their feelings of victimhood and make demands of certain avenues of exceptional freedom be allowed their kind, so too, should those that bear the burden of the trait of so-called manspreading. This trait of maleness must be given recognition and its due not just in popular culture, but to be fully embraced by the rule of law within every aspect of our civilization. Thus, a Constitutional law is surely mandated.
The raising of male voices over this issue should not be discounted as merely another display of a subtle display of typical male aggression. No. It is every bit as legitimate that those that want special features, favors, arrangements and considerations for their perceived needs. Manspreading is not a social issue. It has its roots in the very depths of the male anatomy, the core of humanity itself, some would say.
Manspreading is nothing less than Nature reacting as Nature must to further the continuation of the species. In plain words, manspeading is a natural act even if it makes some people uncomfortable that a man on a subway may sit with his knees far apart and appears as if he cares not for his fellow passengers with his need to use precious extra inches. (Do overweight people not act the same?) Some jealousy extremist of other causes would say that manspreading is really a form of display to attract attention to a man’s genitals in an unseemly fashion even if he is fully clothed in that region. (Do men complain if a woman sits with her legs spread regardless of what she is wearing?)
A brief almost scientific study was recently done within the last few minutes and determined that this sudden rush to condemn men across the board for being merely men has determined that there is a solitary reason for recent shouts of criminal manspreading. Recently, across the internet—internetspreading, if you will—was a video of a couple on a transit vehicle where a guy had artificially endowed himself. His girlfriend secretly videoed women sitting across from him, sneaking glances at his clothed but bulging crotch. Scientists believe that it was this solitary video that was seized upon as the primary evidence that manspreading was a social practice that needed to be stamped out before it spread like wildfire.
A more recent scientific study done on the basis of the above almost scientific study found that the claims of manspreading are spurious and totally unwarranted, much like claims about women showing too much thigh or cleavage.
In addition, if not more importantly, the furtheration of the species depends exactly upon that feature remaining as an entirely normal and whimsical male attribute. The “family jewels,” as they are sometimes called, require a precise operating temperature to maintain their full functionality. So for any one aspect of society to demand that manspreading be eliminated would be a real kick in the nuts for humanity shortly down the road.

a reply to: Aliensun

I completely agree Aliensun - I think we need more prominent voices for the Manspreading movement. What ever happened to LIFE, LIBERTY, and the PURSUIT of HAPPINESS!?

This is just common sense. LET THEM SPREAD

a reply to: Aliensun

Danger, Will Robinson, we don't want this happening:



It is possible to be good mannered about it. I know I would not do it in any obvious way in front of a woman. This cooling process can be conducted by stealth. It is worth considering how some women might feel uncomfortable with this. May be it is like other bodily things we do. There is a polite way to do it and an impolite way.

I don't know why, but manners are very important to me. May be it is because it shows that the other person is acknowledging you positively. Yes, that is what it is. I actually get quite a nice kick out of being polite when I am out in town.

(showing the thought process of Revolution9's brain in action in real time, lol).

WTF? REALLY?

Isn’t there more important thing in life to worry about? Its almost as absurd as removing boy girl labels from individuals.

Before we go down that road, I suggest people look at how some women dress in public. Appalling lack of respect for themselves to say the least. Far more exposed skin on some, that should be of bigger concern that my bulge showing through my pants.

With that said, if my testicles are uncomfortable.....I will spread as far as I wish.

I will not stand for this social injustice until my fellow man can sit and spread whence he doth choose. It is about more than being cramped on the train or being grossed out by the person motioning you to move over. It is about freedom. Freedom of the shady shaft and santa's sack to get a little breathing room in this dense world of ours. If my privates can't breathe on public transportation, where next does the oppression spread? Business meetings? Public parks? No! I say we spread our legs like the wings of an eagle... FOR AMERICA!!!

a reply to: pianoasis

Well said. Let's start a religion over it.

a reply to: Aliensun

Levi's and Wrangler could invent little vents. That might help. I think they could be designed using Gore-Tex, built into the under saddle of the jeans! I need to patent this ASAP as a cure for manspreading.

Ventatest (TM). My chance to make millions, millions I say, millions.

originally posted by: Aliensun
a reply to: pianoasis

Well said. Let's start a religion over it.

Neophytes can be known as "Balsacians". Now all that you need is a costume and a creed.

Is this a joke of some sort? How is this a 'social issue' in the slightest?

I've never even heard the term 'manspreading' before, or even heard someone complain about a man "spreading".

This is absurd.

originally posted by: introvert
Is this a joke of some sort? How is this a 'social issue' in the slightest?

I've never even heard the term 'manspreading' before, or even heard someone complain about a man "spreading".

This is absurd.

*Gasp*

BLASPHEMER!!!

Tie him down and lash his legs together until he understands the true meaning of The Word...

Manspreading!!!

This issue was about taking up two seats on a crowded subway and people have twisted it so hard you would think it was that they want men sitting with their knees touching at all times.

I am more then happy with what the good Lord gave me and never felt the need to spread that much to be comfortable.

a reply to: introvert

It's a non-issue started by anti-feminists when some guy got yelled at for trying to take up two seats on the subway (or bus) by spreading his legs. Again two seats. If you have to spread your legs so far that it prevents someone else from sitting down, YOU are the problem. Not them.

a reply to: introvert

It's generally an issue with those of us who are well endowed. Perhaps the reason some haven't had issues.

originally posted by: mikell
a reply to: introvert

It's generally an issue with those of us who are well endowed. Perhaps the reason some haven't had issues.

I'm not talking about the "issue" itself. I understand that. I'm saying that I've never heard someone complain about it or even heard the term used.

Is it a term used by the younger, macho-type males that obsess over the size of their junk?

Also, is this the sort of content to be expected on ATS? Rather stupid, but that's my opinion.

a reply to: Aliensun

You don't want to squish the boy parts. It's not good. Also, you need air in there. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as whoever is doing it doesn't take it to extremes or have short shorts on that would give people a view of them. Then again, I'm a man and I might be a bit biased.

Men should do what they feel prudent. If someone is offended looking at it...then that person has a problem that they need to work on.

Otherwise, I bet ol Slick Willy would vote to include it in the Constitution

originally posted by: introvert
Is this a joke of some sort? How is this a 'social issue' in the slightest?

I've never even heard the term 'manspreading' before, or even heard someone complain about a man "spreading".

This is absurd.

Some uppity broads in NYC groused about men sitting with their legs spread out a bit on the subway. The city, always one to join in on any fight against common sense, started issuing tickets to these men for "man spreading."

Bottom line here, anyone who feels threatened by the way another is sitting must have one hell of an inferiority complex. They may want to see a shrink about that.

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: introvert

It's a non-issue started by anti-feminists when some guy got yelled at for trying to take up two seats on the subway (or bus) by spreading his legs. Again two seats. If you have to spread your legs so far that it prevents someone else from sitting down, YOU are the problem. Not them.

maybe.

or maybe your are exceptionally tall. Or perhaps have hip dysplasia or something.

Point is: in a free society, people don't get tickets for sitting quietly and fully clothed.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Well we can go into what ifs till the cows come home. The crux of this whole issue was just about not taking up an extra seat so people can sit down. They have every right to a seat that you do.

originally posted by: Sremmos80
a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Well we can go into what ifs till the cows come home. The crux of this whole issue was just about not taking up an extra seat so people can sit down. They have every right to a seat that you do.

As i look through the constitution, Im not finding anything mentioning "a right to a seat". Its not in English Common Law, either.

So it appears that the right does not exist. But mob mentality guided/directed by the victim mentality will certainly carve out just such a right.

I get what you're saying, but we seem to have forgotten in America that people actually do have a right to be an asshole. Just like how a man can sit and choose to let a pregnant woman stand. Not that its how i would act...but i can certainly observe someone else's right to act that way.



"Rights" are what you secure for yourself. If you want a seat, take a seat. Someone has their leg in the seat, sit on their leg. There was a time when people would handle these small issues on their own, without trying to increase the tyranny we all live under by making laws about it. Thanks to that kind of mindset, we have all manner of behaviors that have been made illegal when they shouldn't have.

No...i will not support this kind of madness. I didn't vote for President Camacho.