Excuse me sir, but who does your electricity?……. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Today I find myself needing a rant.

Actually today started out quite nice, had a day off, the sun was out, figured I would take a nice strole down into the town centre as I do most days, go for a coffee do a little shopping, the usual.

MY DAY WAS RUNINED.

You see my town centre has something of a problem right now, it is full of people on the streets trying to sell me something, convince me I have the wrong electricity supplier, making me feel guilty about all those starving kids or trying tell me I have a criminal compensation case that is going to send thousands my way.

ITS GETTING VERY ANNOYING.

Let me tell you about the swarm of parasites that descended on me today. First I had the guy from sky, walked into the small shopping centre that lead into the middle of town and bam! Right away, 3 minutes out the door before I have even start to enjoy my walk I am interrupted by this buffoon. Sticks a glossy leaflet right into may face so I almost walk to his scummy dirty hand as he shouts “SKY TV!, who does your TV mate?, today I can get you the best deal what you…..” I didn’t even bother just walked around his hand and carried on.

Now not even before I get out of the shopping centre some other moron who looks like he is still waiting for puppetry to finish wearing his dads funeral suit asked me if I had had any injuries in the last year. I felt like saying; “no but if you lot don’t piss of I think you might have an injury heading your way with my fist on the other end of it”. But I didn’t, just kept walking out the doors of the shopping centre and into the town.

So I get out, into the sunlight and get not 30 paces or so when some young pretty girl (the honey pot I think) wearing a bright red jacket carrying a matching red bucket starts waving at me like a simpleton with a big stupid smile on her face that says good job I have nice boobs because I got no brains! Stops me to ask if I want to give money to the homeless. I think the fact that there were two homeless guys begging for loose change right on the side of the street next to her was lost on her. Utter moron. You see these work in teams of about 3 or 4 take up various positions along the high street so they can catch anyone that escapes the first pretty girl. They are always begging, today it was for the homeless, tomorrow it will be for guide dogs, the next day for the blind dogs. I am not uncharitable, I do give to charity but honestly I resent being made to feel like a monster every time I don’t put a couple of quid in a bucket to help some kid with leukaemia.

So that’s me, out the door 10 or 15 minutes at the most and I have been stopped by 3 different people all wanting something out of me and disrupting what should have been an enjoyable walk.

Then turns up the fourth person to stop me.

This guy annoys me more than anyone, he looks like that guy on your facebook wall who evertime you see his picture you want to punch him in the stomach to induce the kind of internal bleeding that causes funny coloured stools. He comes at me dressed in a 3 piece suit, with a blue shirt, white collar (IN A WORKING CLASS TOWN). I hate these 20 something metro-boys who feel a need to dress like a cross between a Wall Street banker and a politician when their job is paying less than minimum wage and to everyone else they look like idiots. Around him I can see three of his mates, all dressed the same, all stopping little old ladies and other shoppers.

This guy looks right at me, makes eye contact, I know what is coming next. He walks right towards me, stops directly in front of me and says “I am not saying anything ok! But who does your gas and electricity?”. At this point I was pretty dam angry made even worse by this chav in a suit deliberately cutting me off so I didn’t even acknowledge him. I just walked through him, knocking him off balance in the process.

So he shouts back at me “oi mate watch where your going eh”.

Dear reader, I lost it, I am ashamed to say but I lost my temper and in the middle of the street I lost my head at this guy. Fortunately ATS T&C’s prohibit me from telling you all how the conversation went but am guessing you can work it out for yourselves.

Anyway just needed a rant

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin
Ah, you've not learned the lesson to get away from these people yet.
Lesson one. Do not under any circumstances stop walking, speak as you walk away.
Now it's well known that these people don't downright lie but they really stretch the truth to get your attention.
Lesson two. You lie. Lie through your teeth. Example, the sky people. Pick a provider, say Virgin, now anything you say they will beat your deal so you lie. Tell them your wife or son or daughter work high up for Virgin and you get all your TV plus broadband plus telephone for free. I'll guarantee you they'll leave you alone. Tell them the same story every time. Job done.
Now the buckets.
Lesson three. Tell them you've just given to their other collector farther along the way. They will of course say there is no other collector, so you then rant at them about being ripped off. Job done.
All the while keep walking away from them. Ultimate lesson, lie,lie lie.

originally posted by: OtherSideOfTheCoin

"some young pretty girl (the honey pot I think) wearing a bright red jacket carrying a matching red bucket starts waving at me like a simpleton with a big stupid smile on her face that says good job I have nice boobs because I got no brains! Stops me to ask if I want to give money to the homeless. I think the fact that there were two homeless guys begging for loose change right on the side of the street next to her was lost on her. Utter moron.
So that’s me, out the door 10 or 15 minutes at the most and I have been stopped by 3 different people all wanting something out of me and disrupting what should have been an enjoyable walk. "

Smiling = stupid. Breasts = stupid? For all you know this young woman could be interning as part of a doctorate.

Sounds like a retune to yester year where airports were filled with Hare Krishnas, Moonies, and the door bell rang to the Fuller Brushman.

What a golden era goneby. Kind of miss it.

Watch Groundhog Day…

People are desperate for jobs and are willing to lower themselves to parasite level in order to eat. Perhaps you shouldn't aid in their poor self esteem eh?

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

You know what annoys me more than anything else about charity chumps these days man? Most of them are not allowed to even carry a donations bucket or a pot for change, oh no... They want your damned BANK details these days! Bloody idiotic!

I am not a rich man by any means, but every time I walk out of a place of business, or past a charity box, I put a few pence in it if I have some loose in my pocket. If the sun is out, and I have gotten myself laid within the last couple of years, I may even rifle through my change for an entire quid! But asking me for my bank details to aid in charity work, is like curing a holed water line with a freaking sea mine! It is not going to help, there is nothing in there bar cobwebs and lonely decimal places! It is a forest of regrets, and nothing more!

Furthermore, you would have to have all the wit of a lobotomised goldfish to hand your BANK DETAILS to someone in the middle of the bloody street! They might have a very official looking shirt, and an I.D. card, but BOTH of those things can be printed in minutes by nefarious types, and so I have no, and I mean ZERO trust in that kind of thing. I once went to an interview for a job like that. I thought I would have to go up to some head office, talk to a man at a desk. Its serious work after all, for vital causes that I support anyway, and so I expect EXTREME professionalism from the entire team, from the directors of the charity, to the can shakers on the streets. The guy calls me up on the day of the interview, and asks me which bars are good in this town. I tell him, he asks to meet me there. I showed up, listened to him babble about the work, and then explained that while I do support charity work, I do not appreciate being interviewed in a public house, adding that if I was of a mind to take work offered me in bars, then I would have been in jail by that point!

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

You know, I have this bright yellow t shirt that I wear some days that has a smiley face on it with a messed up look, and it says "Have a nice Day"...."someplace else"

When I wear that shirt, people leave me alone...lol

You need one.

When confronted by panhandlers, I've found that the following works really well:
*after being asked for money*"No, sorry man. I was just about to ask you for some. Times are tough."
*After being offered a 'great deal'* "I charge $xx/month (depends on the service) to be your customer, is that something you're authorized to approve? No? Alright, then."

I've used that last one several times at the gym kiosks and the look on the guy's face is amazing.

If I simply don't want to be bothered by any of it, I just act like I don't speak English. 99% of the time, even a panhandler doesn't waste their time with a smiling, shrugging, confused looking mute.

You think that's bad you ought to walk down a street in Rome sometime. The Roma women meet to stake out their territories in the morning, complete with a drugged baby in arms. If you manage to get through the gauntlet with your wallet intact you have survived.

a reply to: schuyler

ohhh i know i have been to rome and its awful

I think most big cities are but this is just a small working class town's high street.

and this goes on every day its just getting so annoying.

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

I feel for you man. One of the things I hate more than anything in the world is solicitation out of the blue. It's why I suck so badly at sales jobs. I just have a problem doing to other people what annoys me SOOO badly. I hate commercials. I hate popups. I hate ads. I hate telemarketing calls. I hate door to door sales. I hate ALL sales. I know that much of it is necessary evils, but man I really just want to be left alone with these things. If I want to buy something, I'll do my own research on it and then buy it.

originally posted by: burdman30ott6
When confronted by panhandlers, I've found that the following works really well:
*after being asked for money*"No, sorry man. I was just about to ask you for some. Times are tough."

I have a friend who does that all the time.

Last time I was in town someone approached me about the plight of cats. I muttered something sympathetic and went to walk on but the guy, having got a response, tried to steer me towards their little booth.

So annoying - but I said I had to be somewhere and off I went. They can't really argue if you say you're on your way to an appointment.

Or:

Ask them their name because you don't speak to anyone who won't identify themselves

Tell them you're contagious whilst offering to shake their hand

Tell them you're infectious whilst coughing and spluttering a bit. Try asking for a spare hankie

This thread reminds me of this scene:

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

You're day was ruined by this? No need in worrying about these people tryin to make a living and having to deal with your attitude in the process.

Wah wah wah!

Maybe stay home next time or maybe try being on the other side of the coin for once.

I just turn to them in a strong English accent and say "sorry mate, I don't speak english"
The look of confusion on their faces is priceless!
Give it a go next time.
Or to the electric and gas ones. Tell them you live in a basement with no electric and you piss in a bucket.
That sometimes works too.
I've given up been angry I just mess about with them now. Have fun it makes your day, trust me.

a reply to: TheLieWeLive

Sush! People are trying to sleep over here!

a reply to: crayzeed

Tell them you've just given to their other collector farther along the way. They will of course say there is no other collector, so you then rant at them about being ripped off. Job done.

GOLD thanks I'll use this one.

a reply to: TheLieWeLive

You have a point and we had door-to-door salesmen who disappeared once the telephone arrived in virtually every home and now we have the street vendor trying to make a living.

I rant about the phone ones from abroad. They seem to think its your 'duty' to do their survey and don't like it when you refuse. I have to own I have resorted to absolute rudeness with some of them due to the persistent ringing as they seem to refuse to remove your number when you say you are not interested and say "please remove my number from wherever you obtained it from."

During my uni holidays I did cold calling, trying to get people to change their electricity and gas supplier
Soul destroying job, but you learn a lot, especially not to take it too personally. No one wants to talk to you apart from old lonely ladies who are just desperate for someone to talk to.