Man smuggles eyeballs in anus.

Police made a routine traffic stop early Thursday morning and got more than they bargained for when Roy Tilbott, 51, stepped out of his El Camino for a field sobriety test and Casper police noticed several eyeballs slide from his right pant leg onto the road.

“Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”

Tilbott explained his actions: “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”

Tilbott told police he estimates he has smuggled several thousand eyeballs from the plant over the past few months.

crazed.com...

I just couldnt be hungry enough to eat eyeballs. Im sure they are in our hotdogs and mystery meat, but, at least they dont look at us when we eat them. Yuck.

The picture in crazed is actually of a Serial Rapist from
Rock Springs, Wy. who just received a 100 year prison sentence.
I mean, c'mon.... The story in crazed said 30 eyeballs. 30 eyeballs?
I only made it to 10 and it felt like my prostate was gonna explode.

Actual Casper Star Tribune Article

originally posted by: sageturkey
I only made it to 10 and it felt like my prostate was gonna explode.

You just won ATS. Everyone can pack up and move on. Best one I've seen in a while.

It's fake...

As disturbing as this story sounds, Kiss Casper is reporting that it is totally, 100 percent fake and a hoax. What people fail to realize is that the story originated on a satire website and didn’t bother to look for the validity of it all.

After being shared once, it’s now been shared thousands of times on different forms of social media, and people take it as real. The site that began it all, unlike those such as The Onion, gives little indication that its stories are fake.

www.inquisitr.com...

I’m not for sure who said it first, but the saying definitely holds true more often than any of us would like to admit. Case in point: If you’ve been on Facebook today, there’s a very good chance that you’ve seen an “article” about “Wyoming man found with 30 cow eyeballs in his anal cavity.”

The story is 100% fake! I repeat, this story, which originated on a fake news/satire website, is absolutely false. It’s a hoax. How do I know? Well, we just so happen to have a news department, and that same news department picked up the phone and called the police, who confirmed that the entire thing is nothing but a ruse.

Regardless, it has been shared quite a few times on social media already. The accused man was said to have stolen the cow eyeballs from a non-existent meat plant, supposedly located right here in our wonderful state. The “article” stated the man had stolen the eyeballs and smuggled them in his rectum because he like to cook them in soup.

Let’s break down the obvious. First off, cow eyeballs are not nearly as small as their human counterparts. Secondly, digesting 30 seems nearly impossible for an averaged sized male. Furthermore, if this were even possible, more than likely, the acids in the stomach would break them down to a point where you wouldn’t be able to re-obtain them from the anus upon exit.

Now, I’m as big a fan of The Onion and other similar sites as the next guy. The difference here is that the website where this story originated makes little, if any indication that their “news” is 100% fake. With that in mind, I will not be sharing a link to the original sotory here. If you absolutely, positively MUST read the original, I think it’s safe to assume that you know how to use Google. With that in mind, be very wary of sharing or clicking on fake stories. These types of websites often make money off how many times people click on their page. Let’s not help perpetuate this awful story any further, which undoubtedly has already defiled our great state.

kisscasper.com...

a reply to: misskat1

Hmmmm...I SEE it clearly!!!

Sorry guys, yokes on me.

The title was hilarious.

originally posted by: Boeing777
The title was hilarious.

The doctor who gives him his rectal exam is going to have nightmares.

"His ass was staring right back at me!"

Jude

The real news story behind the picture.

a reply to: misskat1


No matter HOW MANY eye sugeries I am forced to undergo in the future, I will now NEVER say, " my eyes feel like sh*t" again. Ever.

I believe this is a hoax about photos. The man has the same face as the demon called Belphegor or Asmodeus in the artwork in the following link:

fantastic.library.cornell.edu...

If you notice in the artwork in the link there is a cow over the caricature's right shoulder. Corresponding to the cow in the news. If you notice in the artwork in the news, the man's face is very similar to the face of the artwork.

Yes, hoax, satire. Demonic mind game from the author. That site is making its way to my never-again site list.

a reply to: misskat1

Yuk, those eye ball's are going arse to mouth!

originally posted by: GoldenSyrup
I believe this is a hoax about photos. The man has the same face as the demon called Belphegor or Asmodeus in the artwork in the following link:

fantastic.library.cornell.edu...

That's quite a reach there, I think you're obsessing - But then again, I think the artwork you linked to resembles Hillary Clinton so maybe it's me.

a reply to: misskat1

Brings a whole new meaning to " I'll keep an eye out for you"

I bet those bovine eyeballs taste like sh$t!

I would give everyone stars, just for the hilarity of your comments, but my star thing isnt working.

Maybe he could not afford a real colonoscopy?

A eye in the ass leaves the whole world blind

So he was carrying a third eye in his brown eye? LOL (Ludicrous Online Lie)

P.S. why can we flag this post but nobody can receive stars? We should be able to receive stars so we can acknowledge the best one-liners, comebacks, witty retorts, etc...