Feminism brainwashed this poor man into feeling bad about grilling

www.slate.com...

I hate how much I love to grill. It’s not that I’m inclined to vegetarianism or that I otherwise object to the practice itself. But I’m uncomfortable with the pleasure I take in something so conventionally masculine. Looming over the coals, tongs in hand, I feel estranged from myself, recast in the role of suburban dad. At such moments, I get the sense that I’ve fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I’ve spent years trying to undo. The whole business feels retrograde, a relic of some earlier, less inclusive era.

How exactly does it benefit our society, to force ourselves to look at every single action we ever take through the filter of gender politics? Why can't we just cook because we are hungry and we enjoy cooking? Why should men flog themselves over doing things some consider masculine? Masculinity is not inherently bad! How many women are really being held back because their husbands threw some f****'n hot dogs on the grill?!?! this isn't about equality! This is the rant of a man who has been indoctrinated to hate himself. It's ridiculous how unhealthy this way of thinking is becoming.

And I don't want to hear about it being the extremists, no it's not. This is the new wave. This is the core of their indoctrination. His talking points are feminism 101. He feels guilt about being the patriarchy, and he's projecting it into everything he does. This is why I say egalitarianism is superior, it doesn't go down the self hate rabbit hole, it doesn't build victim complexes, it doesn't make being a man inherently flawed.

a reply to: mahatche

Well if the man is grilling then what purpose does the woman have when shes in the kitchen....?

I'm totally joking before I get stoned to death....but its kind of this guys fault for feeling bad. Feminism is definitely going too far but it certainly hasn't changed how I behave...and for the record I think women and men are equal...that is why they should have to register for the draft.

I personally think feminism has become a tool to strip a man of his physique as it's 'threatening' to women.

Men ARE naturally stronger and more capable of physical carrying, weight lifting and hard labour than women are, and I suppose in a way this is threatening because, as a woman, if this thing loses control that's it, it's hammer time and the women will always lose (unless she's some martial arts champ), so to disarm the man before anything even kicks off (God only hopes it wont) feminists castrate men so badly that they don't feel they CAN stand up to a woman.

This is purely an off the cuff, poorly thought out response and I'm more playing with a notion, but at this moment in time, this is how I feel about it.

a reply to: rockpaperhammock

Women do not understand what it is to be a man, therefore they cannot be one.


I don't know how to say it any simpler than that folks
and in my community if I get the opportunity to let a woman know her place I will.

now don't give me wrong, I know some women barbecue'n but they sure as hell can't piss with the Johnson in their hand and build a home like I can. never seen it, I won't ever see it.

When men start to give birth to children all those women canstart working on my truck


Because the women in my town can't take a shower without me being involved, eat food without me cooking or buying it, have a home without working on it or building it or paying for it.

Women are so silly

How absolutely asinine! My sister does the grilling in her household. It's not a gender thing. It's what you like to do. It's portrayed as a man thing, but that doesn't mean it has to be. Is my husband less masculine because he likes to cook? He's lab trained and now works the desk. For him, cooking is probably as close to lab work as he'll ever get again, and that's why he enjoys it. Cooking is science.

originally posted by: mahatche
www.slate.com...

I hate how much I love to grill. It’s not that I’m inclined to vegetarianism or that I otherwise object to the practice itself. But I’m uncomfortable with the pleasure I take in something so conventionally masculine. Looming over the coals, tongs in hand, I feel estranged from myself, recast in the role of suburban dad. At such moments, I get the sense that I’ve fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I’ve spent years trying to undo. The whole business feels retrograde, a relic of some earlier, less inclusive era.

How exactly does it benefit our society, to force ourselves to look at every single action we ever take through the filter of gender politics? Why can't we just cook because we are hungry and we enjoy cooking? Why should men flog themselves over doing things some consider masculine? Masculinity is not inherently bad! How many women are really being held back because their husbands threw some f****'n hot dogs on the grill?!?! this isn't about equality! This is the rant of a man who has been indoctrinated to hate himself. It's ridiculous how unhealthy this way of thinking is becoming.

And I don't want to hear about it being the extremists, no it's not. This is the new wave. This is the core of their indoctrination. His talking points are feminism 101. He feels guilt about being the patriarchy, and he's projecting it into everything he does. This is why I say egalitarianism is superior, it doesn't go down the self hate rabbit hole, it doesn't build victim complexes, it doesn't make being a man inherently flawed.

Isn't that right like you're the a hole that doesn't put the steak on for her father-in-law when he visits

It's not illegal to be a man. What's illegal is thinking it's manly or exclusively male to partake in that activity. It's not. Woman can grill and love it too. Woman like sports. They do everything men do. As long as you acknowlege this then there's no harm in being yourself.

Personally I feel he felt guilty because he started to think it was manly to grill. But he rightly states in his article that manly things are cultural in nature. He knows this but yet he falls prey to cultural attitudes.

a reply to: AK907ICECOLD

I agree....and it works the other way...ive dated women that have issues with their period...where they are extremely moody and every other stereotype but I try to be accommodating because...I have no clue what that feels like haha. I was thinking of making a thread the other day about being anti sexual....ive had enough bad experiences that the thought of being with a woman anymore just doens't interest me.....I just don't really find humanity interesting any more.

a reply to: mahatche

Is the Slate a joke site now? Between this and the cuckbot from the other thread, it feels like feminism has completely lost the plot.

I hope this is satire, ala the Onion. I can't imagine how messed up a guy would have to be to feel bad about grilling. Utterly ridiculous.

No wonder I cant get laid?
I nver bow down.

a reply to: mahatche

What a load of tripe. Specious claims and logic held together by silly string. This "gender role" nonsense needs to be eradicated from rational thought. It is apparent that some people enjoy things more than others, not because they've been programmed by society to do so. Have some self-respect.

Growing up, grilling was never a "man thing." At most the dads would sometimes light the fire. But both the men and women grilled. Ditto in my home and my friends homes.

I'm not sure when it actually became a man thing, if ever. Just another one of those stupid stereotypes, I guess.

Also, I think your title is false, leding, misleading, inflammatory, and sucks.

As a male, ( and I would say alpha hyper male at that) I have tried to wrap my mind around the whole notion of "Grilling= being manly".

It must be a fairly new American thing, because I never ran into it when I lived all over the world.

But whatever, his biggest problem is he is too worried about hurting someone's fragile little feelings or offending them in some way. Why should you stop what you enjoy doing just because it may in some absurd way offend someone's delicate sensibilities?

Im pretty much willing to tell anyone to GFYS if what I'm doing is something I enjoy and does not actually (In reality) hurt anyone. People have been offending me my whole life, and I'm still here doing just fine. some of these easily offended microaggressed idiots need to get over themselves.

Surely this is tongue-in-cheek. If he's for real he's a pathetic excuse of a grillerman.

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

It isn't. Read this excerpt:

The association of grilling and masculinity partakes of a similar logic. Unlike most other traditionally “feminine” forms of domestic cooking, grilling typically happens outside, and hence in the public sphere. The putatively masculine quality of grilling may derive in part from the old public-private gender split. In that sense, it shares a common cause with the belief that women belong in the home.

I mean....what???

I sense a troll, or at least an underappreciated wit who did what he could with writers block and a deadline.

He just said cooking is women's work because it's too masculine and he wants to be a good feminist.

a reply to: mahatche

As a freelance writer of online articles...here's the issue with writing online articles:

I can almost guarantee that this content writer bid on this job saying he would do it for so much per word, or so much per article; he was given a tight deadline; and, given some buzzword filled outline for what the website wanted. He likely said to himself. "What's $75 dollars worth of content about grilling, feminism, and existentialism with a millennial bent? Okay so...gifs...iPhone pics...self hatred."

Two hours later he had a full article and it was sent in to be edited. More often than not, content posted on internet magazines such as slate are pay for play, meaning, he writes the article, gets a fee but more than that he gets a very small space at the bottom where he gets to promote what he really loves.

Take everything you see with a grain of salt. This author likely doesn't feel this way anymore than I feel guilty for brushing my teeth because homeless people can't and it's something "clean people" do.

Saturday the 24th is my 16 year anniversary and we have always owned a grill, and I have used it one, ONE time since we have been married and that was she had to do something and was back before the food was done so I didn't even cook the whole time.
And we have a great grill now, stainless steel gas grill with side burners and everything else. She likesto do it and that's fine with me because I don't care for the heat in my face when I open the door.

a reply to: Atsbhct

My thoughts exactly. As a comic I saw a lot of adopting false morals in the name of irony going on there.

a reply to: Atsbhct

If it's a throw off, or a joke, he is sure carrying it through to the end. His tagline at the end?

Jacob Brogan is a Future Tense research associate. He is writing a book about the cultural history of lovesickness. Follow him on Twitter.