Fiancee cast me aside when She needs me the most. I don't get it ?? :(

a reply to: grainofsand

Thanks GrainofSand. Your use of the word "Mam" puts you in the same Country

Iechyd Da.

a reply to: johnwick

Not about you.

a reply to: Cymru

As you said, this is very stressful for both of you and neither of you is at your best.

Practise not imaging the worst, give her some time (for divine sakes, her child could have died. Yes, I know you care as well - but it's different) and see what happens. She may just need 'space' from, and I say this with kindness, taking care of your emotional needs at this time.

You don't know what is going on with her, she obviously isn't ready to talk about it, and 'trying to figure it out' is a waste of your energy. If your relationship is as decent as you say, she'll talk to you.

Did you Adopt the child? If, so you do have legal recourse.

originally posted by: Cymru
a reply to: grainofsand

Sadly Nipper's Father passed away while She was in Hospital. And who was there when She was told?

YOu mentioned a "routine blood transfusion" no such thing of course, how did Dad die?

a reply to: Char-Lee

Routine as in no blue lights or sirens. Just told by her GP to take her in Ourselves. Quite surreal looking back on it.
Her Father's passing was entirely unrelated.

a reply to: Char-Lee
Wrong. There is, but that is besides the point.

I think AlienSun might have a point. Now before you freak out, hear me out.

I have read one to many stores about this happening to not mention it to you.

Kid comes in with chronic health problems. An over zealous "save all the children" nurse or other staff member gets it in their head that there might be cause for concern at home and reports it because of their mandated reporter status. These people call on thing that tend to be more in their mind than in reality, so please don't think anyone is pointing fingers at you.

CPS shows up and talks to the mother, and tell her that due to a report they can either launch an investigation into her or she can accuse someone else and if she promises to keep the child away from that person, they will leave her alone.

I could be way off base, but I have read one too many stories where the kid had a chronic health issue and the father was booted out of the child's life all of the sudden without explanation, later to find out The mother was given an ultimatum by CPS.

a reply to: calstorm

Sadly this has occurred to me and been mentioned by my Friend very high up in that game.

In all honsety I have no idea why it might have happened. If indeed it has.

I've spent more than four months with them through all of this. Covered when Mum was not available on numerous occasions. Both on the Children's Ward and the Child Kidney Centre.
Had meetings with numerous Medical Personnell at all levels and never a sniff of anything.
Even more worried now.

a reply to: Cymru
People change, people change all the time. Dont know but its likely that the death of a kid would effect her, seems logical right? Or not! Who knows. There may be other factors involved. But if you have to ask random strangers about them and it all, your likely asking the wrong people.

It either happens or it does not not. And even when it happens its pretty much on a time line, a moment in time, till the moment passes. So ya! Space is the final frontier ya know, I think without space we would all be bumping into eachother on a regular basis. That would really really suck.

Maybe one or both of you should get this shirt, if I were her I would wear it when around people, in fact I have a shirt like this, somewhere in the clothes pile, never actually wore it. But anyways! Hint- Hint! I think the silence says more then words can ever express. But anyways, I find that if you tell people things, it works much better then if you hint things at them.

a reply to: Cymru

Not every story ends with happily ever after.
You're a better man than me.

Not a better Man. Just a hurting one.

originally posted by: randyvs
a reply to: Cymru

Not every story ends with happily ever after.
You're a better man than me.

a reply to: Cymru

If that is the case, it will hopefully come out at some point, so at least you will understand. There does seem to be a fear element in this, based on what you said in your OP. That's why I asked regarding someone close to the situation putting in a "poison pill" about you.

I would imagine that both your fiancee and her daughter are also hurting, shocked and scared. You are not alone in the pain that such a situation would cause. Still, it is a tricky one to remedy, and without more information, trying to get a lawyer to help or mediate or something isn't practical. Give it time. Is there a way you can find this out on your own, sneakily? You mentioned having a friend "high up in the game" - do they have access to records or anything? Would it be possible to have legal recourse against this agency for destroying your relationship, if that happened? That should be a crime, in and of itself, and should fall back on the agency and their scare tactics. In a perfect world...



Sorry you are going through this.

- AB

a reply to: AboveBoard

My Friend is in a different Directorate.
It would be horrible asking a favour however I know for a fact He would represent me.
We're not perfect like most people but not knowing hurts so much.
I'm afraid to ask as communication has been vetoed.

a reply to: Cymru

I've not even had a proper explanation.

This stood out for me. The battle of the sexes rages on. Had it been a gf of hers she had dropped she wouldn't have been so dismissive and heartless.

The same happened to me once, if that brings any comfort. No explanation...just go away, leave me alone, don't try to phone or contact. Makes you wonder just who, or what, you have shared so much of your life with for so long. It's the ultimate dagger in the heart...the abrupt cut-off, with no explanation. Anyone, regardless of circumstance, deserves at least that; if you don't want to talk then just text it! But no, nothing.

I don't bother with relationships now. Too draining.

a reply to: Cymru
Ah who knows. Maybe she was only there because of the convenience you provided her and her daughter. And now that is gone? Well she may be gone as well.

Don't take these sort of things to serious, as you never know were they will head.

Wise words and thanks.

originally posted by: galadofwarthethird
a reply to: Cymru
Ah who knows. Maybe she was only there because of the convenience you provided her and her daughter. And now that is gone? Well she may be gone as well.

Don't take these sort of things to serious, as you never know were they will head.

If I was you, I'd honor her wishes and leave them both alone. Her stern tone sounds serious, so it's best to just walk away. I echo a previous commenter, she simply does not love you. I'm sorry, but I suggest to begin dating someone else and starting anew again.

OP, has there been any news? Any explanation or communication since your first posting ?

She refuses to explain as Her Daughter's BP is 'erratic at best.' Apparently now is not the best time to talk about Us. I get that but Shes still leaving me hanging with no explanation. Not being there for them at this time coupled with not knowing why is crippling me.

originally posted by: Macenroe82
OP, has there been any news? Any explanation or communication since your first posting ?

a reply to: Cymru

I hear ya bro. Well my initial advise was to wait it out. I figured she would have come to her senses and woke up. But now i say, dont put your life on hold for her. She isnt, so why should you.
You never asked for this, the decent and mature thing would of been to at least fill you in on why shes come to this decision.

One day at a time with the healing my friend. Keep your self busy. But remember, drinking like a buffoon does not help.
Do not start on a self destructive path. It will just end up hurting more in the end.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Thank you.