Tell me what matters to you

Tell me what matters….please. I'm just another joe blow, suffering what we all do, but I'm having a very bad day.
For the last fifteen years, I've had the pleasure and privelege of having two large dogs, my best friends in life. They had my back, if you know what I mean. Four months ago, I had to put one of them down. He was suffering from a nasal tumor, supposedly….and I say it that way, because nasal tumors in dogs are very rare, and we already had one in this house die of that about ten years before….so yes, I am skeptical. But that's likely another thread topic.

His partner, another large dog, lasted four months beyond. Couple months ago, he had serious blood in his urine. Took him to the vet and they couldn't find anything. But this dog had a lot of subcutaneous tumors. For those who are "vet-wise", the subcutaneous type growths are likely just cysts. Long story short, he had a fixed tumor on his chest, and my vet advised that there was likely no point in aspirating or testing it, because it wasn't operable….

A few days ago, he was shedding blood in his urine. Today, he lost control of his back end, and was breathing heavily. We put him on a board and took him to the vet. It seems that he had a tumor on his spleen, very large. The vet pulled abdominal fluid and it was mostly blood, so he was bleeding out into his abdomen.

This isn't pretty. It's very hard.

I chose to put him down immediately. I think he had a tumor on his chest for quite some time that metastasized into his spleen…..and once the bleeding out occurred, there was nothing anyone could do.

This was the best dog in the world, and I write here, today, to pay homage to that and him. And his partner, who was also another "best dog in the world."
I was their momma, and they were my protectors and friends. I couldn't have asked for more.

This is what matters to me: loyalty, love, happenstance when it's magic.

I wrote this thread for Bill and Bugsy: my dogs. And for the happenstance that is magic……for instance, when something alive cares for you, when it appears nothing else does.

tetra50

Something matters to me is that pet owners like yourself have enough courage and respect and love to help their pets pass away with dignity. That matters.

a reply to: tetra50

*Hugs*

I really understand.

With the exception of one person
(my wife); the very best people in
the world I know -

are all dogs and cats.

Kev

a reply to: tetra50

Oh my God! I'm so sorry for your loss.

Condolences and prayers for you. I cannot imagine what you're going through.

Our pets are family members. Those of us who have lost a pet know this. I'm in tears as I write this.

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear
To both kelly and my other replier:
Thanks so much. Yes..
I think our pets are what matters. Who would we be without them?
This is my boy:
/Users/lucy/Desktop/11059403_1640145192866568_4667901182300212273_n.jpg

I am sorry for your loss.
I do not know what matters in a general sense.
What matters in this context is that I feel for you, and I hope you feel better soon.
Take care and my thoughts.

in december 2012 my 18 year old cat lynus died in my arms and i cried like a baby. i still had his sister, alice. she died last month aged 23. i loved them, i will never forget them. as time passes the old cliche turns out to be true - it will get less painful, and eventually only the happy memories remain. my sympathies for your loss of dear Bill & Bugsy.

originally posted by: RoScoLaz4
in december 2012 my 18 year old cat lynus died in my arms and i cried like a baby. i still had his sister, alice. she died last month aged 23. i loved them, i will never forget them. as time passes the old cliche turns out to be true - it will get less painful, and eventually only the happy memories remain. my sympathies for your loss of dear Bill & Bugsy.

What I hope most, is that Bill and Bugsy are together. That's what I would want. And that they don't suffer anymore.
These dogs were totally about loyalty and love, for each other and for me.

If anyone can give me advice as to how to post a pic of Bill and me in his last hours, I would welcome it, so we can all pray for him…..

thanks so much
tetra

This is what matters to me: loyalty, love, trust, and the actions that make it so…..
So I ask you all….what matters to you?
What would you do for those that matter, and what makes them matter?
For Bill and Bugsy, I ask these questions, and hope so much they are together now, even if they aren't with me anymore…..
and I will grieve that everyday, for the rest of my life…..

originally posted by: tetra50 What I hope most, is that Bill and Bugsy are together.

i know they will be.

a reply to: tetra50

Then what matters to me is clarity, in all its forms.
Give me clarity above all else.

originally posted by: Jonjonj
a reply to: tetra50

Then what matters to me is clarity, in all its forms.
Give me clarity above all else.

I used to pray for knowlege. And then the knowledge overcame me.
I understand what you aske for, Jonjonj……
much love,
tetra

a reply to: tetra50

You have my deepest condolences.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I hold all core values universal to humanity though their hierarchy is circumstantial, so while they remain, how they are weighted varies.

originally posted by: beezzer
a reply to: tetra50

You have my deepest condolences.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you, beezer
I don't think I'll ever be the same. These dogs were my friends…above all else. And I just wish I could be sure that they were together and not suffering anymore. I would do almost anything to know and make sure of that. I write here, today, looking simply, for assurances that this would happen for them.

It isn't about me, at all…..

a reply to: tetra50

This is just me, mind you, not saying or preaching. . .

but I think dogs are proof that there is a Heaven.

In my worldview, they're just playing. I'm sure with souls like theirs you'll see them again, some day.

for me, a beloved pet is as much as, if not more of a friend than any human. total unquestioning love and loyalty. but i am a big softie as far as animals are concerned. i love them all.

This is my puppy in his last moments:
This is frigging freaking me out….I have followed all the rules. And uploaded the image of my dying dog. Jesus Christl
but what matters to you?

This matters to me. I've done my best. And those that I write about deserve more than this. I couldn't get my image library to load, so….
this avatar is a pic of my dog and be in his last moments…..


What matters to you?

I'd love to know, and it would help me survive…..
much love to all of you.
I love you Bill and Bugsy.

a reply to: tetra50

Sorry for your loss.

I don't have much to add besides... My fish died last week and I was messed up for a few days, I can't imagine where I'll be when it's time for my Sonny and Chichi to call it quits (pitbull mix and chihuahua).

originally posted by: beezzer
a reply to: tetra50

This is just me, mind you, not saying or preaching. . .

but I think dogs are proof that there is a Heaven.

In my worldview, they're just playing. I'm sure with souls like theirs you'll see them again, some day.

This is the sweetest thing I've ever read, and the most comforting…..
I knew I hung in there with this website for a reason.
Yes they are, aren't they…….