Had a Huge bear encounter today, realised I am more dangerous.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Tell the truth, it was a Fire Newt!

And you pooped yourself.

that reminds me of my own bear story.

i was walking along the beach once, down near Galveston. All of a sudden Brian Urlacher blindsides my buddy. He gets up and stares me down.

So i took off my shirt and showed him my "arsenal". But dude, this was Brian Urlacher, right? So he wasn't scared.

I just ended up having to give him a flying headbutt off the top turnbuckle. Superfly Snooka style. He was out like a light. Then my buddy handed me a beer and we took off with some honeys.

a reply to: hounddoghowlie
Where in post did I write I believed it? No where. I think people could of put him on the right track in a better way then the way it is being done. If mocking me makes you feel better about yourself...........then mock away...........glad I could help. Far as I'm concern this is my last post on the matter. Have a good day.

Reminds me of this:

a reply to: LostAndFound2

That bear was saying- Ahhhhhh...just Another hairless stinky ape....just don't eat all the fish

a reply to: Aliensun
this guy Timothy Treadwell.
yea that was one stupid guy, people said that he was gonna get it.

here is the wiki account of it.

Around noon on Sunday, October 5, 2003, Treadwell spoke with an associate in Malibu, California by satellite phone. Treadwell mentioned no problems with any bears. The next day, October 6, Willy Fulton, the Kodiak air taxi pilot, arrived at their campsite to pick them up but found the area abandoned except for a bear and contacted the local park rangers. The mangled remains of Treadwell and Huguenard were discovered quickly upon investigation. Treadwell's disfigured head, partial spine, and right forearm and hand, with his wrist watch still on, were recovered a short distance from the camp. Huguenard's partial remains were found next to the torn and collapsed tents, partially buried in a mound of twigs and dirt. A large male grizzly (tagged Bear 141) protecting the campsite was killed by park rangers during their attempt to retrieve the bodies. A second adolescent bear was also killed a short time later when it charged the park rangers. An on-site necropsy of Bear 141 revealed human body parts such as fingers and limbs. The younger bear was consumed by other animals before it could be necropsied.[citation needed] In the 85-year history of Katmai National Park, this was the first known incident of a person being killed by a bear.[10]
A video camera was recovered at the site which proved to have been operating during the attack, but police said that the six-minute tape was blank; only the sound of their agonized cries as a brown bear mauled the couple to death was recorded.[11] That the tape contained only sound led troopers to believe the attack might have happened while the camera was stuffed in a duffel bag or during the dark of night. In Grizzly Man,[1] filmmaker Herzog claims that the lens cap of the camera was left on, suggesting that Treadwell and Huguenard were in the process of setting up for another video sequence when the attack happened. The camera had been turned on just before the attack, presumably by Huguenard, but the camera recorded only six minutes of audio before running out of tape. This, however, was enough time to record the bear's initial attack on Treadwell and his agonized screams, its retreat when Huguenard attacked it, its return to carry Treadwell off into the forest, and Huguenard's screams of horror as she is left alone.[10] The tape is now the property of Jewel Palovak, Treadwell's former co-worker and girlfriend.[3]
Timothy Treadwell Death

again i say if true OP is one lucky SOB

Unless he had a 44 Magnum in his jacket, the bear had better weapons.

a reply to: LostAndFound2

Not sure why so many are being mean. It was an entertaining post to read (whether fiction or not).

I have a bear story...

While camping in NC, we had our camp area pillaged for food from some animal while on a hike. After that we were very careful but never saw a bear (just tracks). On the last day walking back to our car after packing up we saw a little cub. He was so cute and I wanted to pet him, but I was ordered to get in the car. We sat in the car and watched the cub for a bit. You could tell he was curious. He came up to the car and got on his hind legs and started licking the car window. But then mama bear showed up and started toward the car pretty fast so we drove away.

I know that this story is pretty anti-climatic but it's my bear story.

originally posted by: LostAndFound2
Returning from a fishing trail walking to my car, I look ahead of me and a humongous bear is standing on the trail calmly between me and the parking lot,

For about 10 sec it was a standoff, both just standing, looking.

And then I calmly loosened my jacket like Yandu and started taking out assortment of weaponry I carry.

Bear ain't no stupid animal, he saw that I am a meaner beast and just turned and walked off the trail allowing me to pass.

I ain't stupid either I knew he was mere yards away being quiet. I passed by him very carefully ready to unleash hell.

a reply to: amberinsc

Not sure why so many are being mean. It was an entertaining post to read (whether fiction or not).

It was...until he started insinuating that joggers and grannies that go for a walk and aren't armed to the teeth are nothing more than dumb slaves.

a reply to: amberinsc

I know that this story is pretty anti-climatic but it's my bear story.

and much more believable.
if the OP would have posted something like this he wouldn't be getting flame broiled now would he.

Was it like that scene in Mad Max when Mel Gibson had to turn in all of his weapons?

i have a bear story too :

i found myself invited to a promotional event where bare grillz [tm] was a guest - and he actually made the msistake of asking me my opinion on his new bare grillz [tm] merchandise .

what i said cannot be published on ATS as it violates multiple T&C rules - but suffice to say it was negative and contained some expletives not even found in rogers profanisaurus

bare grillz - just blinked - looked at me and blinked again - then said ` oh ` and walked off

originally posted by: Argyll
a reply to: amberinsc

Not sure why so many are being mean. It was an entertaining post to read (whether fiction or not).

It was...until he started insinuating that joggers and grannies that go for a walk and aren't armed to the teeth are nothing more than dumb slaves.

True. I am a runner and while I do own several fire arms it is very hard to run with a gun strapped on with nothing to strap it to. Usually I run in shorts/running leggings and a sports bra and maybe a tank pulled over. There is no where to put a gun. I guess i could use my thigh strap but that would create some stares I am sure. I do sometimes carry pepper spray but don't think that would do any good against a bear. Plus, I rarely run in wooded areas anyway.

Oh, I know! I can bring the fanny pack back!

Hugh is that you?

Hugh Glass

Near the forks of the Grand River in present-day Perkins County, in August 1823, while scouting ahead of his trading partners for game for the expedition's larder, Glass surprised a grizzly bear mother with her two cubs. Before he could fire his rifle, the bear charged, picked him up, and threw him to the ground. The bear threw his flesh to its cubs. Glass got up, grappled for his knife, and fought back, stabbing the animal repeatedly as the grizzly raked him time and again with her claws.

Glass managed to kill the bear with help from his trapping partners, Fitzgerald and Bridger, but was left badly mauled and unconscious. Henry (who was also with them) became convinced the man would not survive his injuries.

Henry asked for two volunteers to stay with Glass until he died, and then bury him. Bridger (then 19 years old) and Fitzgerald (then 23 years old) stepped forward, and as the rest of the party moved on, began digging his grave.[2] Later claiming that they were interrupted in the task by an attack by "Arikaree"[citation needed] Indians, the pair grabbed Glass's rifle, knife, and other equipment, and took flight. Bridger and Fitzgerald incorrectly reported to Henry that Glass had died.

The odyssey to Fort Kiowa[edit]
Despite his injuries, Glass regained consciousness. He did so only to find himself abandoned, without weapons or equipment, suffering from a broken leg, the cuts on his back exposing bare ribs, and all his wounds festering. Glass lay mutilated and alone, more than 200 miles (320 km) from the nearest American settlement at Fort Kiowa on the Missouri.

In one of the more remarkable treks known to history, Glass set his own leg, wrapped himself in the bear hide his companions had placed over him as a shroud, and began crawling. To prevent gangrene, Glass laid his wounded back on a rotting log and let the maggots eat the dead flesh.

Deciding that following the Grand River would be too dangerous because of hostile Indians, Glass crawled overland south toward the Cheyenne River using Thunder Butte, a prominent landmark visible for miles, as a navigational tool. It would take him six weeks to reach the Cheyenne River. Glass survived mostly on wild berries and roots. On one occasion he was able to drive two wolves from a downed bison calf, and feast on the meat. Aided by friendly natives who sewed a bear hide to his back to cover the exposed wounds as well as providing him with food and a couple of weapons to defend himself, Glass made his way to the Cheyenne River, fashioned a crude raft and floated down the river, eventually reaching the safety of Fort Kiowa.

After a long recuperation, Glass set out to track down and avenge himself against Bridger and Fitzgerald. When he found Bridger, on the Yellowstone near the mouth of the Bighorn River, Glass spared him, purportedly because of Bridger's youth. When he found Fitzgerald, he discovered that Fitzgerald had joined the United States Army, Glass purportedly restrained himself because the consequence of killing a U.S. soldier was death. However, he did recover his lost rifle.

I bet you used your mad bo-staff skills on him. Poor bear if only he has been armed as well.

I would have scratched him behind his ear and given him a cupcake ; )

I ran into a couple bears in the last few weeks, one was big, and blocking my path.
I was three miles out in the woods. A lot like your encounter, luckily he saw it my way as well.
But for the next three miles I was pretty sure he was shadowing me, in fact I had a feeling long before I even saw him that something was stalking me, probably had got my wind. Black bears evolved to be evasive they think because before the last ice age there were many fiercer predators. A mountain lion, on the other hand, you might not even know until it was too late. Luckily an adult male is not usualy what the are looking for, bambi is tastier and fights less and is a natural prey animal.

a reply to: LostAndFound2

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been treed by an angry squirrel.

Bastard showed his gnawy teeth and I ran like a little ....

He has the right to... BEAR arms. ba-dum-tss

I have a bare story for you. My friends and I used to hang out with someone that was not quite right in the head. One day we were getting drunk and otherwise not sober in the garage. He goes in the house and comes back five minutes later in the buff (naked, stark raving nude). In one hand is a bottle of rubbing alcohol and in the other is a lighter. Before anyone could say "Holy crap, get your damn clothes back on I'm blind" he dumps the rubbing alcohol on his boy parts and lit them up with the lighter. So here the fool is running around and laughing with something we'd rather not see all aflame and yelling "Wee Wee! Pee Pee!"
Oh, wait! You told a bear story, not a bare story. Oops!