Thinking negatively.

I have really started to notice in the last year how much I think in the negative. This has probably been going on for most of my life as it comes from trials I had in the past, no doubt. But it is really a learnt thing and I am starting to realise this. For instance if something is coming up I always expect the worst and think in movie like ways about what might happen in a negative sense. I'm not very positive or have very high expectations of things. I know now that I can change my way of thinking. Thoughts are something you learn to take on or your mind.

Thoughts that I have though tend to make me feel very unhappy and I get a lot of pain in the body, expecially in the chest area. I often get triggers, like for instance if I see a person walking that looks like someone from my past, I start to have thoughts in not so positive ways about the past. My mind tends to constantly drift into negative memories through triggers.

I do not know if this has to do with society and the way we are brought up. With all the negativity that we are constantly being drummed daily especially on the news and television. It is almost like the mind set of society. I think maybe alot of people tend to expect the worst in things. Not all of course but I have heard of people experiencing this. It is almost like we are trained to think in negative ways in order to survive and get through life. If you think the worst scenario then you are prepared for the outcome if it comes to pass. It is like tying to get some control on life. Preparing yourself for the worst.

I don't know if thinking the worst of situations helps really. I've come to that conclusion in the last year that thinking negatively only makes you unhappy. It achieves nothing else. You do not really get control on any situation by thinking of the outcome before it happens. And of course the outcome of any situation doesn't always result in negative experiences.

So I'm now going to think in more positive ways and see how my body reponds to it. If I have negative thoughts I push them away now and think in the moment more. I try to just concentrate on what I am doing in the present rather than to think constantly about things that are taking me away from experiencing life. It is helping already alot. I feel less pressure in the chest and the heaviness of life is lifting into a more light feeling. I even found myself singing last night just from a pure feeling of happiness.

I think in life people learn to think badly and that it only takes training to learn to think in new ways. To allow only positive thoughts and feelings towards experiences, rather than to fear everything or expect the worst. Also to linger on the past is not always a good thing. We are now in the present and our experiences are happening now. Living in the moment is definately a better practice.

I think training one's thoughts to more positive ones also includes what we think of other people. Like for instance if you are walking along and someone is in your way, you might immediately think negative things about this person. But if instead you had patience and waited for that person to walk further, you would be more relaxed and calm than trying to rush the situation in negative ways. Being more calm and positive changes the way one thinks about people in general.

So that is just some of my thoughts on negative thinking. I'm changing my life one thought at a time. Becoming a more positive thinker.

a reply to: mmirror

Good on you !!

Realising that negativity is not helpful ( besides a fight or flight moment ) is a huge first step.

Going on with it is the challenge ... however you now know what to be aware of ...

Up to you ... positive thoughts your way !!

a reply to: Timely

I'm positive of the future now. So I know that everything will be ok. It is a challenge but I will overcome it.

Thank you very much for your kind words.

originally posted by: mmirror
a reply to: Timely

I'm positive of the future now. So I know that everything will be ok. It is a challenge but I will overcome it.

Thank you very much for your kind words.

Keep at it. I've had problems over the years worrying needlessly over things.

It's taken decades to get over this. Still find myself slipping up sometimes. A person needs to enjoy the moment and the day, not yesterday or tomorrow.

Keep at it, pretty soon it will come naturally.

So it goes.

From someone who suffers from depression, I feel your pain.

I made up my mind many many years ago not to medicate, and instead, do what you describe. I'm in no way saying this will work for everyone.

It is not easy. And I've never been addicted to drugs, but the degree of difficulty involved, I would guess from my research, is very akin to battling addiction.

But for certain, self realization is the first step. I wish you well. Reach out to those who love you for support.
It's ok to ask for help.

a reply to: Hidinout

Thankyou that gives me courage.

a reply to: Wetpaint72

Yes I very much agree with you on that it feels like an addiction. Almost like you cannot get rid of the negative thoughts, like they are a drug constantly revolving. It however feels much better without constantly thinking of sad thoughts. I feel the difference even in a short time which makes me wonder why I had not come to this conclusion much sooner in my life. I think if you learn to think in a particular way, it becomes normal, habitual. I can learn to think in new ways and eventually it should become normal also. It is definately a choice. One I never thought I had the chance to make. I just never realised it. Maybe I just never had the courage to make the decision? Or I just never knew any different until now.

Maybe I thought I had to suffer out in life for the things I had done wrong. But it is all choice. Whether to think one thing or another. We are our own judge in that way.

I'm definately learning alot. Self realization has been a big step and awakening.

I have wonderful people in my life who are there to support me. Which has been a godsend.

Thankyou for your kind words. I send strength to you also that you are able to overcome your depression.

a reply to: mmirror
I know this is going to sound hokey... But I swear it helps.

Put a rubber band around your wrist, not tight, but like a bracelet might fit.
Loop a paper clip on the rubber band.
Every time you start to go to that negative place, give the paper clip a little tug and let it snap you on the inside of your wrist. Not hard enough to leave a mark. Just enough to maybe sting a little bit.

It's like letting part of your conscious mind overcome your subconscious negative thoughts, and bringing it to reality, rather that having the two combat each other silently inside your head.

a reply to: Wetpaint72

I have heard of this before. I think it would also be good to keep your mind off what you were thinking by distraction. So every time you think something negative you get an instant ping reaction to the rubber band. It would almost get automatic after a while. This would be a good teaching aid.

a reply to: mmirror
Hey buddy, I've lurked on these forums since I was maybe 16. I spend maybe 30 minutes to an hour just scrolling and reading daily and am now 20 years old, (probably one of the younger people to use this forum)

Anyway I came across your thread and couldn't help but to notice how much it sounded like myself. A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with chronic health anxiety and have been suffering with it for a while now (growing up I was easily startled and scared and got anxious quite easy).

I find that most of the negative thoughts and such tend to occur when I am alone. When I am with my SO or with friends I don't get much anxiety and very few negative thoughts. Controling the way you think and thinking more positive is the only way to block out and control these negative thoughts as you stated above. Thinking about the now and not focusing on something that may or may not occur (as you also stated) is absolutely the right way to rid yourself of these thoughts.

I am still having a difficult time keeping my anxiety under wraps and don't currently take any anxiety meds (personal preference to not want to pop anxiety meds for the rest of my life) and just reading your thread made me feel a little bit more "normal". Like I'm not the only person out there that constantly thinks like this.

this is sort of just my little rant, I don't really have much to add to what you posted, just getting this out there and off my chest really. Head up mate.

a reply to: Benjicleo

You are definately not alone. I think alot of people go through this. Most would have some negative thoughts throughout life. Have fears and anxiety at times. I get this also, anxiety especially when I do things out of the norm.
I think when we are alone we tend to go inward more and think more. I have exactly the same. I say often that I'm just a very sensative person. Being around people does help alot.

originally posted by: mmirror
I have really started to notice in the last year how much I think in the negative. This has probably been going on for most of my life as it comes from trials I had in the past, no doubt. But it is really a learnt thing and I am starting to realise this. For instance if something is coming up I always expect the worst and think in movie like ways about what might happen in a negative sense. I'm not very positive or have very high expectations of things. I know now that I can change my way of thinking. Thoughts are something you learn to take on or your mind.

It's a huge step forward when you can actually 'hear' the stories you tell yourself. The fantasies - how this horrible thing will lead to this and this even worse thing - or it's correllory this happy thing will lead to this and this and bingo the whole enchallada. I've never had either type of 'fantasy' story come true.

When I'm involved in 'mental masterbation' or 'self-talk', I'm not present to what is happening now and I miss life. When I make decisions on my tall tales or horror or bliss - I'm acting and believing my delusions as real.

My basic, simple, mind tool to return (over and over and over) to the present moment is to recite (to myself or aloud) those things I am grateful for. Not things I FEEL grateful for but those things I KNOW that I'm grateful for (a roof over my head - leaky or not; running water; hot and cold running water; a toilet, food to eat for the day). I know that millions, hundreds of milions of other people don't have those things.

Mind training is basically what the whole Buddhist religion is about. They have been doing mind training (and hindus even longer but with different emphasis) since 600BC. All religions have sects devoted to it - It's call meditation. There are thousands of ways to meditate.

The 'Automatic Negative Thoughts' ANTs can be overcome - they are a habit - they need to be replaced with a new habit and it takes consistant effort over a considerable period of time.

Books:

"The Power of Now" Echarht Tolle
"Sermon on the Mount" and "The Golden Key" by Emmett Fox
Anything by Pema Chodron.

It's not about happy thoughts or stopping thought (it is what our minds do after all) it's about being open to each moment without prejudice, expectation or demands. And then, you are able to act from a place of power instead of a place of Fear.

Have fun!!!

a reply to: FyreByrd

Thank you for your wonderful post. It is definately important to be in the moment more than in fantasy world in the head. I never thought of it as mental masterbation, lol. That is a good one.

It is definately a habit to be in negative thinking. (or automatic negative thoughts.) It takes a lot of patience and effort to overcome.

Thank you for your book suggestions.

Definately it is important to act in a place of power than a place of fear. I notice when I fear I feel almost like a child trying to get a grip on life. It is not very empowering. But when I get my negative thoughts away I feel stronger, like an adult who is able to handle anything. It is definately a much better place to be.

originally posted by: mmirror
a reply to: FyreByrd

I never thought of it as mental masterbation, lol. That is a good one.

Definately it is important to act in a place of power than a place of fear. I notice when I fear I feel almost like a child trying to get a grip on life. It is not very empowering. But when I get my negative thoughts away I feel stronger, like an adult who is able to handle anything. It is definately a much better place to be.

It's not original - but - you just can't help yourself sometimes.

For me - fear manifested in the nearly uncontrollable need to "Run". Slowing down to make friends with the 'moment' whatever it is helps a lot.

Good luck - now that you see it - you can work with it and it will get better.