An Ocean Mystery in the Trillions

What's believed to be the most numerous vertebrate on Earth is also one you've probably never heard of or seen—yet scientists say the bristlefish, a fanged creature that glows in the dark and lives deep down in the ocean, likely numbers in the thousands of trillions, reports the New York Times. To put the sheer volume of bristlemouth in context, the domestic chicken—the animal previously cited by an expert to be the most numerous vertebrate—comes in at around 24 billion. The tiny fish—which the Times notes have extremely wide mouths to show off their ample teeth—are smaller than a finger, but they seem able to survive by "counter-illuminating" to blend in with their surroundings, as well as having the ability to switch from being a male when born to female later in life.

Source


It looks like we can no longer call this planet our home. We are invaders, left to harvest precious metals and generate electric impulses to be harvested by the alien master race we owe our existence to.

Planet Bristlefish was found in a state of serenity. There was an endless supply of food and only one dominant life form existed, the tan bristlemouth.


There was no land to settle on at the time, so our alien overlords extracted massive quantities of sea water into the sky. This water was used to power and supply elements for an artificial atmosphere designed for off world experiments and breeding.

Eventually, Planet Bristlefish developed into a livable habitat for the humans. It would take millions of years for the bristlemouth fish to evolve onto land in order to kick our asses.

Those that chose to fight could not return back to the sea and the planet was flooded once again buy reproducing en masse and displacing water over the lands.


To celebrate their victory, they all began to illuminate at once and could be seen from across the galaxy. This turned out to be a bad idea.

Humans eventually returned, but had learned from their previous mistake. We could no longer live on Planet Bristlefish and call it our home.

We began to learn from their people, wear our hair like their people and they even taught our men and women how to change into the opposite sex.

They had mastered this ability and it was important to their survival. We soon found out it was not so beneficial to our own.


There is a part of the ocean that is as dark as the heavens above. This is where the bristlemouth lie, and secretly keep order between our species.

There’s a reason we don’t go down there and there's a reason they don’t come up here. A silent agreement in order for us to live here in peace.

I was warned we should stop dumping radioactive waste into our oceans or we might have a problem on our hands in the future. The bristlemouth cometh...


Its amazing to think just how many organisms we share this planet with. It belongs to those who take better care of it and we are just the messy house guests.

If nature can thrive in such large numbers, so can we. Its time some of us cleaned up our act and let the earth heal.

And no, I cant give you back the time it took to read this. You're out of luck.

originally posted by: eisegesis
And no, I cant give you back the time it took to read this. You're out of luck.

Well then, sir, you have lost my vote! Er...We are voting on this right?

Interesting thread.
S&F

a reply to: eisegesis

I say war!

They have already started posting on our human message boards!

Lol thanks for the chuckle

a reply to: eisegesis

Damn! Those fish invented LEDs!

originally posted by: rockintitz
a reply to: eisegesis

I say war!

They have already started posting on our human message boards!

Lol thanks for the chuckle

Once we declare war, it will take them millions of years to prepare an army capable of attacking us. In the water, I heard they'll swim right up your bum and eat right threw your stomach if you plan to take one head on. Being the size of a finger has it's advantages!

a reply to: eisegesis

You say we, but your avatar proves they've already turned you to the dark side.. Er.. Underwater light side?

Or by we, you mean them?

a reply to: eisegesis

Awesome post! S&F

You are a terrific storyteller.

originally posted by: ChiefD
a reply to: eisegesis

Awesome post! S&F

You are a terrific storyteller.

Now, I wouldn't go THAT far, but thank you.

I'm glad you liked it.

originally posted by: eisegesis

originally posted by: rockintitz
a reply to: eisegesis

I say war!

They have already started posting on our human message boards!

Lol thanks for the chuckle

Once we declare war, it will take them millions of years to prepare an army capable of attacking us. In the water, I heard they'll swim right up your bum and eat right threw your stomach if you plan to take one head on. Being the size of a finger has it's advantages!

Seems like good ol' G.W. was aware



Fish lives matter.

a reply to: eisegesis

They should rename it the Jenner fish.

a reply to: eisegesis

Interesting fish, ridiculous conclusion. Because there are a lot of this fish, other species must be invaders? Not even all other species, but only humans? Stuff and nonsense!

originally posted by: LadyGreenEyes
a reply to: eisegesis

Interesting fish, ridiculous conclusion. Because there are a lot of this fish, other species must be invaders? Not even all other species, but only humans? Stuff and nonsense!

Your post is iconic. So far, you are the first and only person who seems disappointed. Why would I even care? It was dumb and utter nonsense. Congratulations, your observation skills are operating at peak levels.

Oh, and bristlemouth fish can sense hostility so I'd stay out of the water if I were you.

originally posted by: eisegesis
*snip*
Your post is iconic. So far, you are the first and only person who seems disappointed. Why would I even care? It was dumb and utter nonsense. Congratulations, your observation skills are operating at peak levels.

Oh, and bristlemouth fish can sense hostility so I'd stay out of the water if I were you.

Disappointed? No. The fish themselves are interesting, but the rest was simply not.

I am not worried about the fish, either, since people don't tend to swim that deep.

a reply to: LadyGreenEyes

In order for certain jokes to exist, you need to let go of reality. This was a joke post and the Mods could have moved it into that forum if they wished. Humor comes in may forms and there are those who found this funny and there are those who did not, such as yourself. Stop being so hypercritical and move onto something that suits your needs as a member.

a reply to: eisegesis

I vote for war.

My casting net and hot grease is ready. Kill 'em and grill 'em!

S&F