Unequal reciprocity in love between both sexes

Tell me if I am wrong but is the norm for the man to love his wife just a bit more than she does him? I notice in a few examples where the wife has been paralysed or suffering illness the male partner still seems to hang around and care for his partner, but if the roles were reversed what are the chances of the female partner remaining in the relationship to look after her man? Is this because the man loses his status as provider and thus is not attractive anymore to the female?

meh, i would abandon my wife over a twisted ankle, so to each their own

You have to provide a bit more context, or examples (with links to websites or videos) to build a case for what you just said.
It boils down to individuals and the relationship between them, me thinks.
Hard to think of it as a gender issue when the amount of time you stick around strongly depends on how connected you are to the other person

You're trying to group a set of people together.

Just take a moment and ask yourself how you would act in a certain situation.

And please realize that TV is not the litmus test.

a reply to: croatianguy

My wife and I have been through sickness and health and back again, sticking with each other the whole way. In both cases, we were incapacitated for months and the other never faltered in care for the other.

I think a key component to our success in this regard is that we have both equally shared the load throughout the years and have been partners in our finances and child rearing. There is no "provider" or "parent" assigned as we both perform those functions.

Or maybe it's unconditional love?

a reply to: croatianguy

my girl put up with my depression, alcoholism, and two surgeries.
I put up with her temper..

haha,

but if the roles were switched it would have been the same.
We were in Love, what else could we have done??

a reply to: IShotMyLastMuse

Its just stories from 60 mins and current affair programs I have noticed over the years. Give me a few days and I can find a few links But I just cant recall seeing any where the roles have been reversed.
And also, I have never heard of any instances where the wife would put her life on the line for the man, but she would do it for her son. Just recently on the weekend with the massacre in Tunisia, the boyfriend shielded his girlfriend and put his body on the line and took the bullets for her. Brave and true love there - but would she ever consider doing the same for him? If not, why not?

a reply to: croatianguy

I highly disagree. I think there are for more examples of men trading in their spouse for a younger model once her looks start to fade. Women are far more devoted to their men and to their families.

oh dude, there's more angles to this...
I thought you were going to post women were more sedate....or indoorsey....
A.M.A. sonabridges ruined my wife with meds...22 pills a day....pizzes me off...from Gods view....the spiritual war attacks one partner to distract and null the other partner. that makes a lopsided yoke

originally posted by: calstorm
a reply to: croatianguy

I highly disagree. I think there are for more examples of men trading in their spouse for a younger model once her looks start to fade. Women are far more devoted to their men and to their families.

Thats a seperate issue. I am just talking about couples who are in love. But since you bring up devotion, how come so many women cheat on their partners who are serving in the military?

a reply to: croatianguy

Dude...

The question of one loving the other more is one which I cannot answer objectively, because I am a male who has been cheated on by the majority of ladies that I have dated, and yes, I use the term ladies with my tongue firmly in my cheek. This would bias my response, as my only experience has been largely negative with the ladies, and I am not in the position of being suddenly crippled or anything.

However there are just as many women looking after their physically broken partners, or at least, that is how it seems. I happen to be acquainted with quite a few people, mostly through my work, who look after their spouses through thick and thin, and many of those are women taking care of gentlemen with a range of illnesses and disabilities, from aggressive and debilitating cancers, to cerebral palsy and dementia, to amputations and a whole host of other stuff.

What the percentages are, I have not got a clue, but I think it is unwise to make too firm of a link between the amount someone loves someone else, and the percentages involved with disability care in men and women.

See... I've always noticed the exact opposite so I guess it just depends on who sees what and how it's interpreted. Most anyone in my life that I have seen come into a situation like this, it always seems to be the woman who holds out while the men take off.

I'd say that there are people who don't take their vows seriously on both sides and people who assume that since they didn't take vows then they don't need to stick around. Male and female alike.

Even if I were divorced from my husband, I would feel obligated to care for him if he was terminally ill if he had nobody else to do it for him. That's just human compassion and both sexes can lack that trait unfortunately.

originally posted by: croatianguy


Thats a seperate issue. I am just talking about couples who are in love. But since you bring up devotion, how come so many women cheat on their partners who are serving in the military?

I trust you have *reliable* statistics for that? ^^^^

a reply to: croatianguy

It's not a question of what sex a person is, but rather how much virtue a person has. More times than not, that comes down to money.

The more money a person has, the more apt they are to throw it at a problem to show how much they care about the person. Buy some caretakers, etc....That's what they do and most of them see no problem with that. It shows others how much virtue they believe they have.

The less money a person has, those with virtue will help their partner personally. That's what they do and most of them see no problem with that. It shows others how much they have.

I'd like to see 60 minutes tackle that.

It has less to do with gender, and more to do with whether or not someone puts genuine love above all else. I've told my husband numerous times that I don't give a rat's ass about money, and didn't marry him for it (not that he was drowning in excess cash, but that's not the point) We could be homeless in a cardboard box and I'd stick with him through that because there's only one Mr Nyiah, and I don't care to ever look for another over something as petty as material goods.

My older brother, on the other hand, put material goods way above his marriage. Now they're divorced because she was second-fiddle to expensive junk.

a reply to: Nyiah

Exactly, my wife is my partner in every imaginable way. She is my soul mate. It has no conditions attached.

We have had everything, then lost it. In material things and in health. She has been the bread winner, and I have been the bread winner. She has had health issues as have I.

It is unconditional love. Total respect and trust with each other.

I cant imagine life without her, and she is the same.

I feel sorry for those that don't have this.

I don think this is a male, female issue. It is a human character issue.

a reply to: croatianguy

I'd love to see statistics on men who cheat on their wives while off on military assignment. Cheating is a two way street.

Nobody addressed my issue about the wife/gf putting their life on line for their partner. For the guys with female partners, do you expect that your wife/gf would put her life on the line to save you?

originally posted by: croatianguy
Nobody addressed my issue about the wife/gf putting their life on line for their partner. For the guys with female partners, do you expect that your wife/gf would put her life on the line to save you?

My ex would have yes.
Even when well nevermind..

She might still do it.

I would expect it from a baddass type of girl I would fall for again..
Whoever she may be.

a reply to: croatianguy


My mother did ... she did everything for her husband at home

following a road accident which left him incapable, incontinent

and with brain damage so he wasn't even aware of what she had

done for him.

I don't perceive any such divide.

I've watch women stay by the side of their ailing or handicapped males, until death do they part, too.

I often notice in some couples there is one person who plays the more "dependent" than the other, (which some equate with being "more in love" than the other) but I don't see it happening more often with one gender or the other, and is mostly a non-articulated agreement between them on the roles they play face with the world.