Who Here Has One Of These For A Family Member Or A Friend?

The Complete Computer Monster Killer

It never failed, bless my Mother, her Internet would go down or her computer would freeze or her mouse would stop working...something that was working would stop...and she would start unplugging things and try to troubleshoot the problem and do this...I know what I am doing act, until...whatever she did completely discombobulated the computer to the point of essentially "killing it".

Then the inevitable would happen and god help me if I was busy doing something more important...you know like at the dentist getting a cavity pulled or taking my cat to the vet or sitting on the potty...I had better be prepared to drop whatever it was and get over there immediately or there would be a guilt trip forthcoming the size of Montana.

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

My mom is like that sometimes lol. Not so much unplugging stuff though.

Here's some advice. It's something I read once. Never fuss over helping your parents with tech stuff because they're the ones who taught you how to potty in the toilet.

You just described me to a T. lol Luckily a friend has sold me his old computer so I just text him when I've somehow saved a file into the outer reaches of the universe. He always seems to know exactly where it is though. lol

It doesn't stop with computers though. Just about every machine I've used at work has just broken on me. I'm quite well known at the workshop...

I am the person that you call upon when you kill somthing "technical"

I am somehow capable of mending anything without knowing what or how you managed to do it.

I am the go to guy when you cannot do something so simple but still need me to explain 5 times how it is done.

I am that guy that turns it off and then turns it off again.

I mend things and people say thank you.

I feel your pain.

a reply to: Skid Mark

yeah, i always dropped whatever I was doing too, and I wish my mom was around to bug the crap out of me now!

a reply to: SilentE

That is okay I forgive you!

a reply to: nonspecific

Dang me too!

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

When I lived in the same state as my parents (hour and a half away) my father (not a technical giant) called in utter rage about how his printer which cost hundreds of dollars didn't work.

I drove the 90 minutes, walked into my parents home, walked to my fathers office, opened the printer, took out the cartridge, removed the plastic film covering the printer head, popped it back in and left without saying a word.

I love my folks but sometimes they drive me crazy.

a reply to: beezzer

mom called me to tell me her mouse was defective, I went over there replaced the battery and gave her a kiss bye bye!

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree
This used to be MY JOB before I retired. Do not feel alone . Most people would think this type of deal was performed by "the computer illiterate". Wrong. Uncountable the times I have saved a system admin's rear. And not just junior admins.

We build our own computers, and my parents persist in thinking that being able to troubleshoot hardware trouble also translates into troubleshooting software issues with equal facility.

It never fails that we try, but they've got about 20 different junk toolbars stacked up on their computer. I think we've finally broken them of that one.

a reply to: nonspecific My computers have always been susceptible to rootkit viruses. I usually go to a helpful website that has me start with hijack this and runs me through a lot of other scans and fixes until done.
Most of it I can do by myself now. But, I have good anti -virus and anti-malware and go to few places besides here, youtube, facebook and wartune. Still happens. I am cursed. I will call on you or the OP next time.

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

All that and now imagine you both share that computer.

a reply to: intrptr

Then you have to hear what porn site gave you an std, lol!

a reply to: reldra

As long as you have fresh bagels and can take the "stare"!

a reply to: ketsuko

Click click click, how the hell did that get on here?

a reply to: Gothmog

How many games can I download before my entire configuration is something that resembles 3D barf bags?

a reply to: nonspecific

Amazing what a few deletes can do and a reboot!

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

I am anathema to modern technology, much as it is to me, for all that I am using a tablet to post this.

My buddy was really chuffed that his computer could run Crysis at maximum quality, and invited me over to see this for myself, and play it. I arrived, and watched my buddy carefully pick his way through an area or two, stealthily taking out the odd enemy character here and there. My turn came, and I wanted to take advantage of the full range of the armour skills that are in the game. I ran in headlong, butchering enemies in droves, and blowing everything that could take explosive damage to smithereens.

I rolled up on a location which was essentially a square compound, full of tanks of fuel, and other things which would cook off nicely if persuaded with the aid of a few grenades. It was also home to about twenty enemy sprites. Because I have a very up front, no holds barred, charge and screw the consequences approach to first person shooter games, I ran straight through the compound, throwing grenades left and right, before spinning round and beginning to lay down serious fire just before the grenades started to explode.

It was at this point that my grenades started to detonate, setting off secondary explosions all over the place, and wreaking absolute havoc throughout the compound, throwing bodies, and particle effects all over the place. Unfortunately, the computer could not handle all of this at once, and promptly crashed like a drunk in a Lamborghini.

More to the point, technology in general is anathemic to me more often than not. Everything relies on passwords that I cannot remember worth a crap, updates only seem to want to happen when I am trying to do something time sensitive, and generally, computers require far too much maintenance for me to ever get on with them. I like things which do not change state unless I explicitly make changes. I like things to be so simple, and sturdily built, that my strength and methods are incapable of damaging them in the least.

Computer technology however is the precise opposite. These bloody things are too delicate, too needy, and only ever seem to work well, when one wants to do something entirely unimportant, while proving themselves unable to handle the simplest task when that task is vitally important.

However, I never make it someone else's problem. If I am going to cause trouble for myself, I will request that aid be rendered whenever someone is free to help. Because I am not a Facebook user, and because my life does not revolve around my tech, my friends and family know that if I need some help with my computer, I can wait without any detriment to my person.

My daughter. She can kill a laptop faster than you can say "virus". She has 50 bazillion tabs open, all of them doing something and if it says "Click Here" she will click there with out knowing what it is, what it's supposed to be or what it's going to do. I have cleaned 2 GB of junk that she downloaded and saved for no other reason than she "thought they were neat". Then.....I get The Call. "DAAAAAD!! MY COMPUTER IS ACTING FUNNY FIIIIIX IIIIIT!!!!!"
So, out of my never ending, unconditional love for her, I fix it and tell her to stop clicking on every link and downloading every picture and she agree not to......til next time.