Dear Microsoft: GAH GAH GAH GAH and, furthermore, GAH

Short and sweet venting moment - so please make sure that your seat belt is tightened and that a clear clicking noise is heard when your shoulder harness deploys. If not, please let a ride operator know immediately, before the ride begins.

Dear Windows,

What is there left to say? I've been with you since nearly the beginning, through most of the thick and the thin. You forced me to expand my horizons, early on, by making me learn how to use a terminal and configure a winsock. You made me feel like a whole new world was about to explode when I watched the included video of Weezer singing "Buddy Holly" on my computer as I looked at my fresh install of Windows 95. That start button, the ability to wallpaper my desktop, the magic of autodetecting my hardware and installing ( some of ) it without me having to battle with drivers and endless configuration tweaks?

It was magic.

For awhile.

Then the problems began. You introduced me to our mutual friend, BSOD and I spent nearly as much time with BSOD as I did with you. But I hung in there. Day after day new problems arose... others could take over my computer and flip my screen upside down for lulz and, still, I stayed. You let total strangers send modem strings that could do all sort of horrible things to my computer - and I held fast. Issue after issue, and I was right there, loyal.

Then Windows 98 came out and, while I was happy, it all felt a bit stale.

Then XP and the same feeling that I'd somehow seen it all already.

But when you pulled Vista out of your bag of tricks? Well enough was enough and I had to draw the line somewhere. I fell into the behavior typical of a battered consumer and went back to XP to hide from your monstrous and horrible machinations. New version after new version I hid in XP... But you. You couldn't let me be happy, could you? You couldn't stand the thought of me feeling secure? So you STOPPED supporting XP and forced my hand.

I left you. For quite a long time I refused to even speak to you. I found someone else, Linux, and I was happy.

For awhile.

Then again, you weren't worried, were you. You knew the truth. You knew I'd be back. After all AAA gaming almost mandates having to be with you, doesn't it? You knew that, one day, I would get rid of my horribly outdated computer ( that couldn't run AAA games anyway ) and finally have to advance. You lay in wait for that day and you smirked when it came.

Only I was shocked when I finally took you back. All the negative I had heard about Windows 8.1 and yet I found myself happy with it. Stable, responsive, easy to use... and no more having to share you with BSOD. It was like the good old days all over again - AND I could play any game I wanted!

Then you pulled the stunt. You HAD to go and pull the freaking stunt... "Reserve your upgrade to Windows 10 TODAY" you splashed on every Windows machine around. Your ego kicked back in and you forgot that most of the people using your product have no clue at all about computers - other than you can Google dirty things on them and argue on forums.

You scared a LOT of people yesterday. I know this because all of those frightened people messaged me, in a sheer panic, wanting to know if they had a virus or not. Surely MICROSOFT would never create an invasive app that parks itself RIGHT IN THE TASKBAR and demands to be seen, dealt with, and replied to... and then stays there - haunting the user.

You'd never do that? Right?

Then why the HELL am I staring at that invasive little white flag right now? Huh? WHY are my FB and email inboxes getting hammered with messages from freaked out friends and relatives over it?

Don't lie to me. I've known you for nearly thirty years and I can read you like a book. It's your Apple envy again, isn't it. You are still envious of the iCampers who'll sit for weeks in the snow just to get the newest overpriced WHATEVER that Apple decides to sell. The iRock? A stone with an Apple logo on it, retailing for $799.99? It'd sell out in 3 hours and they'd have to produce ten million more to satisfy fanboi demand.

I understand your envy. I honestly do. Apple gets praised for making a computer that top end prices at $30k and looks like a trash can - but is only as good as a $2,000 PC. I get it. Honestly. But you have to understand something Windows... You are not as sexy as Apple. You lack the charisma. You'll never sell a $30,000.00 trash can. It's just not you... so PLEASE quit trying to fit into that niche.

This marketing gimmick. It's too much, too soon, and all so horribly, horribly wrong. It's like divorce worthy.

Am I going to have to leave you again?

I think they have a bad fragmentation problem with many people in soon to be obsolete os, so they are trying to unify as much a they can givin it away free to some.

They must feel so generous they splated it all over your face

a reply to: Hefficide

I don't have anything to contribute. I liked it.


When windows walks in the dark, it's afraid Android is going to pop out.

Cut bait and take a bite of the Apple......LOLOLOL!!!
You'll never go back.

(Isn't this where I post a Medusa-like image + one of Eve seducing Adam?)

Heff....Windows will never do anything but break your heart and leave you bloody & battered at the curb, Come on over to the Darkside, we have umbrella drinks and bandwidth!

a reply to: Hefficide

I kept leaving windows and kept going back..
For me XP and 7 are both ok XP better, and I liked 2000 actually, but I'm weird like that.

But I can't stand the other ones.

Still out of principal, I must go for something open source, no matter the consequences.

a reply to: Hefficide

Windows is like that abusive husband in a wife beater everybody knows.

They promise they won't do it again!

Mmm Hmm..

Lies.

I have yet to see this little icon on my devices as of yet, but I haven't tried to update in a few weeks. I'll see later tonight.

~Tenth

DH got the notification, but not me.

So, has anyone actually tried out Win 10 yet?

a reply to: Caver78

I tried to upload a gif of Luke at Bespin when Vader told him he was his father but the upload failed, new ATS servers must be windows based, so here is my best interpretation of the image

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

a reply to: tothetenthpower

When you update, you'll get it. It's a minor annoyance really - but to the people who just use computers without being into them? They are freaking out en masse.

a reply to: Hefficide

Remember when windows were see-through things made of glass you dare not smash.

Yeah - those were the good ol' days Heff, those were the good ol' days....

a reply to: Indigent

hahahahaha!!!
Windows = pic of Grumpy cat
like crack....just say NO!

originally posted by: Caver78
Cut bait and take a bite of the Apple......LOLOLOL!!!
You'll never go back.

(Isn't this where I post a Medusa-like image + one of Eve seducing Adam?)

Heff....Windows will never do anything but break your heart and leave you bloody & battered at the curb, Come on over to the Darkside, we have umbrella drinks and bandwidth!

I will have to pass on the Apple bandwagon, it has infected my son and it is very disturbing.

No, this is NOT my son in the pic

And yes, I also have the white flag in my taskbar.....Should I click it???
Has anyone else 'upgraded'?

a reply to: Hefficide

There now. Take a deep breath. Do you feel better?

whats a taskbar

I feel ya. Vista actually made me angry. I have linux boxes at home but I'm a developer (mainly MS platform). It's not for the everyday user but the ease of use has improved greatly over the past several years. What I've seen so far of Windows 10 actually looks pretty good. I might give it a shot on my company machine. Don't buy into the Mac hype. They used to make some better products until the black turtle neck commander left us... god bless him.

Also, i run windows 8.1 on my work machine and have no action to upgrade. It may just be part of the auto update check. Mine is disabled.

a reply to: borntowatch

That bar at the bottom you can pin shortcuts to. I always have a white flag on the bottom, because I don't allow auto updates (messed up my work stuff once before) and it's always yelling at me to run the Windows defender scan (don't use it-have other things). But I have nothing there about Win 10. It's hard to believe people are seriously freaked about a wee little white flag ... do they think their computer is surrendering to the NSA or something?

a reply to: eeyipes
I've had a bit of a play with the technical preview a few weeks ago.
Not too shabby IMO.
Having said that it must be 6 - 8 weeks since I fired it up. I think I may just plug the hard drive back in & see what they've done to it since I last tried it out.
That should be an entertaining experience

I have recently subscribed to 365 again due to a new Windows 8 laptop that I don't use and don't like but needed to access collaborative PowerPoint work on it in a hurry.

Windows 8 is irritating in it's lack of intuitiveness and clunky UI, perhaps Windows 10 will be better, let's hope so.

I work in education we use Windows 8 screens in class teaching, you can imagine the fun that involves, swipe......swipe....swipe.....where did that....swipe...swipe.....tap....tap.....tap....

Lol. Love it. Epic rant, Heff.

Go to "View installed updates", and uninstall KB3035583. No more nag in the taskbar.