Serious Question: Why are so Many People Afraid/Unaccepting of Transgender People?

Hi ATS,

I am a transgender woman (meaning I was assigned a male body at birth but identify as female) I have a serious question for you. In light of some of the transgender topics that have come up I have seen a lot of unacceptance, fear, and downright hatred towards us. Why is this?

My own family in real life has shunned me and do not accept me for coming out as transgender last year, and I am/was the 'good' kid in the family. It has left me flabbergasted that of all my siblings who have been to prison, gotten DUIs and so on, I the transgender child am viewed as the absolute worst. If I may make some things very clear:

-I do not have some agenda, nor do the transgender people I have come to know, I repeat THERE IS NO TRANSGENDER AGENDA! I suppose the only "agenda" we have is to be treated like equal human beings. If there is some other agenda then I don't know about it.

-I am not mentally ill, confused, a sex offender, nor a pervert. Yes there are transgender people who do fit into these categories just like there are for any other types of humans, because we are humans. Being transgender doesn't make one ill, or vice versa.

-I lead a normal life, I go to work 40 hours a week, I pay my taxes, I am happily married and I have hobbies. Granted not everybody is like this nor is this a criteria for anything, but only to help you relate to me. In fact I have thoughts and feelings, dreams and nightmares, likes and dislikes just as any other human would.

-This is not some recent thing that came up and I decided to go with, I have identified as a woman my entire life and brought this up to my family and parents countless times before they shoved the "love and acceptance of Jesus Christ" down my throat to the point I hid who I was and suffered severe depression of which today I still am fighting. Expressing my gender identify and feeling that acceptance helps me heal, or would you feel better if I succumbed to my depression and killed myself because I made people uncomfortable?

-In addition to my above point, I am also a Christian but not a very typical one but more open minded. Transgender people aren't devil worshippers trying to "destroy the foundation of family and home." We are human beings just the same as people of color, people who are queer, people who are straight and are cisgender (identify with their assigned sex) and any other type of human being. We have spiritual needs just like any of you do.

-Yes I have worked harder than you know to "try and just be a guy" and try to take my churches and families advice, but denying who I really am in attempt to keep up a facade only makes it worse. Being a woman and expressing this is what saved me, in addition to realizing that Jesus is and was on my side all along. Yes the church is wrong in their assessment that transgender is a sin. (in my opinion)

-I am not trying to confuse the world or be a special snowflake, I am doing this only for the simple reason of existing in peace. I would rather not have to go this path, I would rather not have to literally stand up among my family, friends, coworkers and even you people of ATS and feel like I have fight just for the right to exist. For those of you who are cisgender, when did you ever have to fight for the right to identify as the gender you are?

-40% or higher of transgender people who attempt suicide, a higher percentage of transgender women (especially of color) are murdered. We have discrimination in the workplace, in social life and even in the media. We are the next civil rights movement and I hope you know what side you are on. This is a real condition and struggle for us, this isn't asking something ridiculous as though you should accept us as giraffes or unicorns etc. We are only asking to be accepted as opposite to the gender we were assigned at birth. (and anything in between for those who are genderqueer/fluid)

So again, I am not some criminal, nor some deviant with a hidden agenda, in fact I would like to meet you face to face so you can see with your own two eyes what a transgender woman looks like, and realize I am just as human as you and then ask what do you hate or cannot accept about me? If you are only here to spew bigotry then dont even bother answering, you only make it clear that you are a neanderthal and eventually you and your breed will die off. But if there is some valid unseen fear or worry or concern that is truly unique to trans people, I want to know it. I dont believe there is anything truly fundamentally different about trans people than from cisgender people that would make us less human.

I do not claim to be the spokeswoman for Transgender people, only that I have been part of ATS for years and have vented all kinds of frustrations and rants on here but this is something that really strikes my heart. I hate seeing the ignorance and hatred from a site that supposedly refutes ignorance. I know most days I feel like people just want me to go away and die, but we are not going away, we have been around since the dawn of humanity and will continue to be around. We are your Mothers, Fathers, Sons, Daughters and so on.

Lastly, if you are not transgender/genderqueer then don't comment like you can understand these struggles, becasue they are real and just like I can't comment on the struggles of certain things, it doesn't mean they don't exist or I shouldn't care.

That is all.

a reply to: honested3

Why is this?

As with many another topic, the only answer I've ever been able to come up with is this: Fear.

Fear of that which is different from ourselves.

That's all I got.

That and mad respect for putting yourself out there.

a reply to: honested3

Ok, nuff said.

Oh Noooo's
Another baiting question regarding a controversial subject.

a reply to: honested3

For me? Its having sexual preference pushed down my throat. Its simply not convenient for me. If heteros (and they do at times) do the same- I resent it. Look... I was delayed by an hour trying to get to work a month ago because of a gay parade.... That is inconvenient to me. I don't care what sex anyone is... I don't care what they screw and how. Just leave my life alone with this crap. I get tired of the flaunting and the fighting simply all over sex and identity. Am I selfish? Sure. I just simply cannot be bothered by your problems when there are people dying of hunger, war , and murder every minute we live.


Cheers

I got no problem with a person's outsides, its who you ARE that counts; how you act towards me.
I happen to know a few TG people, one of them an Air Force veteran, and they dont walk around with a chip on their shoulder or have a hidden agenda to push, except the AF vet, when I kick his ass in CoD, then I tell him his nails are getting in the way

1. Being a heterosexual male, I do not fine the male physical body sexually attractive in the least bit. I think my view is somewhat of the norm for most heterosexual males, so to think of a person who is physically male that might be attracted to me is not something I would want to experience. This could help create the divide that you speak of.

2. Most transgender are not very noticeable, so what many people associate with that term is the over the top transgender you might see in San Fran....So kind of guilty by association when that term comes up.

3. Six foot two guy with 5 o'clock shadow wearing a mini skirt is just creepy...just saying...

Accepting variations in sexuality, and having it shoved down our throats everywhere on agenda, and shoved into our childrens minds are two completely different animals.

a reply to: honested3

Lastly, if you are not transgender/genderqueer then don't comment like you can understand these struggles, becasue they are real and just like I can't comment on the struggles of certain things, it doesn't mean they don't exist or I shouldn't care.

I know this part wasn't aimed at people who don't have an issue with transgender, but it does come across as you are shunning the empathy of those who might be in in a different situation but can relate to the the isolation and judgment that you face with your situation, such as certain ethnic groups. (How was that for a run on sentence? Lol!)

That said, I don't have a issue, but I do have questions how to communicate some of the transgendered people I interact with regularly without making a fool of my self.

a reply to: calstorm

Ask 'em how they want to be treated... I'm sure they'll be more than happy to tell you. Seems to work for me. At least I've never been told otherwise?

It is because some people feel the need find a problem in anything that they don't want or believe in for themselves, so if you don't live or act like they do then you are wrong or evil. And that is their problem. If people would mind their own business the world would be a much better place. And just know that the people who don't accept you for whatever reason, there is someone that does not accept them for some reason or another and they don't understand why and the cycle continues. If your neighbor looks over the fence and doesn't like what they see then they need to just stay on their own side. I think if you are not hurting anyone than you aren't doing anything wrong. And anyone who doesn't accept you is the one with the problem.

Afraid or unaccepting? well, I am sure plenty are. I am not, however I am not comfortable with a person being transgendered either.
Its because its exceptionally unusual, and so limited exposure leads to just unfamiliarity.

I have been around a couple transgendered people before though and my reaction to them was polite, humorous, and respectful..because regardless of their personal choices and desires, they are people in the end, regardless of color, gender, orientation, etc. As people, I accept pretty much everyone...as a transgendered, I dont understand their outlook, views, and desires...but I dont have to either..just respect their rights to do so and be who they want to be with legal equality.

a reply to: honested3

Some people are afraid because a book told them God will destroy them and not talk to them when they die if they so much as come within 50 feet of the gay or the transgender.....others are just so uneducated and narrow minded that they honestly think that they might catch a dose of the gay or transgender and their penis or vagina will fall off or just stop functioning.

Same goes with catching a dose of the black, the white, the republican, the democrat, the Islam and the "does not think like me". The only thing they have caught is a dose of the stoopid.

Don't worry about these types of people, they are "Morans" and clearly an example of everything that is wrong with the world.

You are a beautiful soul, and so awesome that you beat +/-7 billion sperm to the prize - for a reason.

What I'd like to know is, why every time this discussion comes up those that are opposed to "gender" equality always use the phrase "shoved in our face, shoved down our throat".

Hello, paging Dr Freud, Dr Sigmund Freud please report to the discussion.

Oh & in reply to the OP, it's ignorance & hubris, but pay no mind to the reactionaries, progress will proceed.

K~

a reply to: SaturnFX

I think that's pretty much all most of them are asking for.

Can't really ask for more.

OK, fine you are who and how you are.

Can we get on with our lives?

No, we can't. Instead, our children must now be educated because some of them might be transgender and not know it or be afraid and not accept it and everything else.

The little darlins' don't graduate with any understanding of math, science, or even a third grade level reading ability, but bless their hearts, we make sure they know all the possible sexual positions known to man, how to put on condoms, all the different sexual orientations and whether or not they might be gender fluid!

This is why I think there is starting to be a lot of pushback on it. We've gone from no awareness to way too much of it.

a reply to: SaturnFX

Honestly, I think that's really where most people are at with most of the minority classes.

originally posted by: Legman
a reply to: honested3

For me? Its having sexual preference pushed down my throat. Its simply not convenient for me. If heteros (and they do at times) do the same- I resent it. Look... I was delayed by an hour trying to get to work a month ago because of a gay parade.... That is inconvenient to me. I don't care what sex anyone is... I don't care what they screw and how. Just leave my life alone with this crap. I get tired of the flaunting and the fighting simply all over sex and identity. Am I selfish? Sure. I just simply cannot be bothered by your problems when there are people dying of hunger, war , and murder every minute we live.


Cheers

So you got stuck in traffic due to the gay parade and was late for work huh? Allow me to quote a brilliant individual about that.

"I just simply cannot be bothered by your problems when there are people dying of hunger, war , and murder every minute we live."

Think about it for a moment, really.

a reply to: ketsuko

You sound like my mother the "tomboy". Okay so you are grouping transgender in with all the other things you do not like, try and look at it as its own thing not something representing everything else you just said. I am not promoting less education because that would literally be ignorant, but then again when has calculus ever helped you in day to day life? Or the study of Shakespeare?

We are talking about human beings, not sex positions, not trying to corrupt your children. But only promoting acceptance of those who are different, even if you cannot relate to it. When there is such a high suicide rate and murder rate for trans people, then maybe there should be "too much" awareness. It's not like the majority of people would come into their own to understand or accept something new.

a reply to: honested3

I know it hurts your feelings....

but...


I. simply. do. not. care. about. your. parts. or. who. you. screw.

I don't care. I will never care.

I simply get sick of having to be bothered by your problems. We all have problems. We all are judged at times unfairly. But most of us just get on with it and have a go at life.