Have you ever encountered a Sociopath?

a reply to: caladonea

oh sorry (10000% I believe you)
I don't know how to respond

in the best possible way

I still can't find words.

i am honored (?) to have you respond here

every word would be an understatement

a reply to: Layaly

Sorry...I misunderstood...I guess we are just learning how to communicate with each other...the get to know you phase.

Sociopaths are scarey...and the thing about them is...many of them are well educated...intelligent...well groomed and on the surface seem to be good humans in our communities...they are good actors...people need to be really careful and learn how to tune into and trust their intuition.

There is a book I recommend for people to read: "The Gift of Fear"...by: Gavin De Becker...I think everyone should own a copy...this book is a good learning tool and quite an eye opener.

a reply to: caladonea

That reminded me of a story I heard once. A man and woman were on their first date and decided to go to a park with a wooded area. It was dark. They heard something in the woods and the man was about to investigate but they both got a feeling of dread and danger so they left. Well, years later, Ted Bundy was asked if he'd ever come close to being caught. He said that one night he was in the woods with one of his victims, finishing her off and about to dispose of her, and these people came along and stood there for a while before leaving. It was that man and woman. According to the story, they read about the interview and were so glad that they decided not to investigate the noise. Talk about your close calls.

a reply to: Layaly

Layaly - I owe someone a smack in the mouth.

It bugs me that I'm not going to do it, but hey ho. You don't go back just to smack someone.

Forget the other person's head. Forget they might think they are in control or they won. If you focus on that, then you haven't got away.

Get away physically and mentally. Let them have the win if it means that much to them - it's only in their own head. The fact is You got out. You stayed out. And You are in control of Your life.

Seriously - nothing speaks more clearly than cutting off from someone.

Here's another saying I live by: Distance is the best defence

People will always misinterpret what you say or what you do - that's the nature of people. Don't attach importance to it if the person is out of your life. Just make sure they stay out.

I agree.

I would also say that until you no longer care about weather they think they have "won" or not in all truth they proberbly have.

I dealt with a similar situation a few years ago. Eventually I found a solution that worked for me and I decided to forgive them foe what they had done to me and appolgise for anyting I may have done that upset them.

Once you have done this you can truly let go and move forward, as long as there is anger or regret there is coersion and that will always lead to more trouble.

My wife's ex-husband is one, her ex-mother in law is bi-polar and her mom is a narcissus, hence moving two states away. . .

Life is much better now.

ya reply to: denybedoomed

so how did you recover?

a reply to: nonspecific

when it is neither partner nor a friend
taking the insults is unacceptable

however

I agree with all said

it is pointless

a reply to: berenike

thank you

you are keeping me thinking straight

originally posted by: Layaly
Have you ever fallen for/knowen someone and then realised they have these traits..

Sociopaths...


They do exactly what they want at any given moment.

They are unable to connect with other people.

They are unable to have empathy for others

They are unable to love.

Their emptiness makes them chronically bored.

They often throw people away suddenly and brutally, ignore them for days or even years.

They give you the silent treatment.

They see nothing wrong with their behavior.

They believe that they are incredibly superior to other people.

They are egotistical and arrogant. And this makes it impossible for them to benefit from therapy, and it makes it impossible for them to change.

They do not feel remorse or guilt.

This lack of conscience means that it does not matter to them if they trample on the rights, feelings, or safety of others.

They make statements about you that are the exact opposite of the truth.

Sociopaths convince their targets that they will never lie or cheat and that they love them so much. They also promise that they will never do anything to hurt their victims.

Damn, I need to get a psych evaluation.

originally posted by: Layaly
a reply to: IAMTAT

yes
but knowing a few add people no I can not say that is why as I know add person completely devoted to love

Because Adderal surpresses emotion.
I was on the stuff for for about 5 years...and I can tell you that it became extremely easy to simply break up with someone, ignore them for long periods of time, without even being aware that you are being insensitive.
You are basically like SPOCK.

When you get off adderall...after several weeks, your emotions flood back into you...and you realize how cold and insensitive you were to the people around you.

a reply to: Layaly
hello, i am a sociopath, i also suffer with bipolar and narcissism, what do you want to know?

originally posted by: THELONIO
a reply to: Layaly
hello, i am a sociopath, i also suffer with bipolar and narcissism, what do you want to know?

I just have to ask...are you serious or joking?

Had a boyfriend for four years who was exceptionally intelligent, creative, dedicated and for the most part kind. Long after we got together he told me a story of when he was a child and hit his mother with a stick while she was sleeping, just to see if he had any feelings. His wonderful mom was fine but, just as he concluded, he felt nothing. He knew he was a sociopath and truly did a great job of masking it.

People thought he was a little odd... different personal boundaries on the mental level but otherwise pretty average. It really changed things for me though and while we were already drifting apart this disclosure sealed the deal for me. As an older person I might have been able to handle it.

One or two in a hundred are Psychopaths, of which Sociopaths are a subgroup. Three to Seven percent score high for these traits which are part of an index for identifying them, lack of remorse, lying, lack of empathy,. Narcissists are also a part of the grouping. I had a childhood friend who was diagnosed as a psychopath. He was very charming but was many years older and I expect was so that he could control me and I wouldn't see through the deception. He was the most charming and notorious individual in High School, and then one day he suddenly attempted to kill or seriously injure me out of the blue.
You never see it coming with these types, although there are warning signs, if you catch them in time, such as enjoying hurting animals in the teens, or a police record of violence or arson.

originally posted by: Layaly
a reply to: eletheia

how do you move on from someone who believes you are forever their toy to play with

Because, in this case, it is about you and not them. They won't change - but you can.

OH yea! My ex is a sociopath, recognized by the courts after she shot me with a 12ga! I spent about a year and a half having major surgeries. You would be remiss in underestimating their ability to cause serious damage to a persons life.

I posted this in another thread, but I will put it here as I feel it is very relevent to the discussion.

I still am not sure what woke me up, whether it was the click of the safety or some spiritual thing, but I awoke to her standing next to my bed with a semi-auto 12ga loaded with 00 Mag buck shot in an and 5 shells in it. I hit the barrel and she took off about a 1/3 of my neck and piece of skull. She dropped it and ran, and fortunately I lived in the city then and fire rescue was there about 5 minutes later thanks to a neighbor that heard it go off. I was about 5 minutes from bleeding out. Had she stayed for a second round I would not have been able to do anything. We have a regional Trauma 1 hospital close by and they did some amazing stuff. I had plenty of chest muscle that they did a pec-flap and move it to the neck to replace the missing stuff. The Chief of Maxiofacial Surgery did all the surgery and if not for the scars, you couldn't tell today how bad it really was.

This was 7 years after I divorced her and gained custody of my 2 daughters. I did not realize she was a sociopath until it was too late. Going through the divorce with everything coming out the lawyer brought it up. I then read a book on sociopaths and couldn't believe what I was reading. It was like it was written during a study of my wife, literally!

All I have to say is that if you find yourself involved with one, be careful! You could have a real bad day or night in my case. She snuck back into my home and got me. And the woman actually called the fire rescue dispatch after the fact and asked them what I said in the ambulance on the way to the Trauma Hospital. Amazing story that I am too tired to type up right now.

a reply to: IAMTAT


my experience is actually opposite :

the person who takes medication gets their emotions under control and they become more cautions and aware of others, attentive, responsive, creative and loving. off meds just mixed up with emotions and angry but this is something that is easy to say as I was aware of their ADD and had experience with many ADD people. I also get the numbness but that doesn't mean u purposely get out of ur way to play games like this.

so I understand where u're coming from but I realized that is not the case

a reply to: THELONIO

do u ever feel wronged by others?
have u ever been truly in love?

a reply to: caladonea
no joking the perfect storm