NLBS #46 The Madness Of Helicopter Parents Versus Free Range Parents

a reply to: Foxy1

I finally found some lady wandering around in the distance carrying her. she asked "Is this your daughter? She was crying and unattended."

First and foremost, I am happy that you've found your child! That's the most important thing here!

I agree with LadyGreenEyes, what she did was child abduction, especially when both your kids were in the park and so were you. It's a common tactic for those in the wrong to throw the first punch of accusation, and in this case, she might have just done that - to put you in defense. If this has just happened, it might make sense to look further into it, especially if you can recognize her. For all we know, you may prevent another child abduction, or recover someone's else abducted child.

I hope you do not stop taking your kids to the park, esp. if they enjoy being out there. In the risk of over-stepping my boundary, I'd like to offer a suggestion, i.e. if you have not done so yet - if your kids are the only ones around, perhaps they can play in the same section? If there are other kids, is it possible to work with the other parents to watch out for one another, and exchange phone number esp. if you are away to attend to the other kid in another section? To my knowledge, most parents can be quite helpful when approach; I, myself, would certainly be glad to do so for the other parents.

a reply to: theNLBS

I won't get into the innards of this thread. The insane first paragraph indicates plainly to me that this is "gloom porn" which is different than "doom porn" that we see too often on ATS today.

Basically, it states that parents are bad for being good parents...maybe too good by some standards (at least for this thread).
You folks want to rail at some real social issues stick with non-involved parents.

I had thought i was a helicopter parent and was told I was overbearing and such but I never pushed my beliefs on other parents. However helicopter parent is a term that has changed in the last 20 years evidently. I couldn't bare some of the things that they say helicopter parents do nowadays. Or maybe its just the extremist helicopter parents?

I may have hovered regarding certain things like learning but I also allowed him to climb trees and dig in the dirt like normal kids. Ive seen kids grow up bad who came from both extremes be it the free range homes and helicopter homes so I always tried to remain healthy mix.

While I could never allow my kid to go free range as they do now I also couldn't imagine not letting him have normal experiences either.

I guess what puts me on the fence here is that it seems only the extremes are the examples here and extreme parenting standards have always swung the pendulum from one side to the other. So I guess I can't relate to either side of this issue but more the middle.

It's one thing to raise your kids your way but to impose our own beliefs in parenting upon others is a futile and rude concept no matter which side of the issue you stand.

a reply to: Sublimecraft

I am right with You Here! Those Mother F'rs 'in charge' are really crossing the line with this! Total Bull S T!!!

Time to Lock'n Load!

Here is where the committed lefty socialist goes all right wing... leave the kids alone!

I was "overprotected" in my youth in the 70's, according to my peers (and me), and still remember most all the fun I had was either alone or with bands of wild, unsupervised kids... careening around the area until dark... jockeying for social position, learning to be witty or lame, fighting when I had to, ducking the rare pedo or three... even getting the occasional bruise or stitches... you know, being a human kid.

By gawsh, this 'helicopter parenting' is ludicrous and will create neurotic, self-doubting, totally uncool messes... and studies support that gut call. Free-range... heh... but that's my recommendation, if that's the term.

Sheesh.

originally posted by: Snarl
I had to stop. You made your point (for me at least) in the first 5 minutes.

The People's Republic of Maryland is one effed-up state. One of my friends got caught in traffic and was like five or ten minutes late picking his daughter up from school. $500 fine!! and threatened with incarceration for any subsequent tardiness.

Sorry. That's too much for me. Not even driving through that place. Avoiding Joisey too. LOL

What in the literal f***

I usually say nothing shocks me anymore, alas, Liberals continue to amaze.

a reply to: chuck258

Ever heard of calling the school? Letting them know there is an issue?

You NEVER assume someone will just automatically take care of your child.

My guess, could be wrong, this father was a repeat offender.

a reply to: theNLBS

This Maryland situation... It's appalling.

When I was a kid, I used to walk home from primary school every day. Sometimes my mother would be there to meet me, sometimes she would be at home waiting, and sometimes she would be off in town trying to get the business of the household done, paying bills at the bank, going into the branch offices of the energy company (yes, they had those back in the day!), or to the council offices over one thing or another.

Sometimes I would cycle to and from school, although there was always the risk of my bike being vandalised by total bastards if it was left in the bicycle shed all day. It was a six minute walk in any case, and aside from the chance of getting accosted by one or another of the sociopathic little scumbags who were my class mates on the way, I always handled that walk without a problem. I would cheerily greet the people at the bus stop near the train station, and the managers of the business premises which dotted the high street along which I would be walking in order to get home. I did this regularly from about age six upward.

Sometimes, I would get home, and mother would greet me at the door with a hug, ask me about my day, take my bag off my back, hand me some pennies, and send me back onto the main road to buy bread, or milk, or butter, or other essentials that we might be out of. Now, my mother loves me, and my sister to death. She's always been in our corner throughout our whole lives, and has tried to protect us from the ravages of an uncaring government, a failed education system (as we had back then), a father who was functionally useless, and everything else on the planet. But the one thing she never tried to protect us from was our ability to feel, and behave like free people. As a result, when a neighbours pit bull got out of their yard, and tried to bite me as I was walking home from school once, rather than curling up in a ball, and dying in all probability, I stepped sideways, then kicked it flat in the testes, sending it stumbling, scampering back behind the fence it had broken through.

That is why, by the time I was in high school, I already felt that the entire BOROUGH in which I live, was my patch, my stomping ground, my manor. The reason for that, is that I had the freedom to explore, to learn my way in the world.

The kids referred to in the video, were closer to home. They had been in a car for hours, and needed to stretch out, play, re-expand their physical limitations, from their compressed state! Hell, I used to get home from long car journeys, and then ride my bike for half a damned hour! I used to cover a mile in that time, and no one batted a damned eye, and that was HEALTHY for us as kids! It felt GOOD!

The police in this instance were, in my opinion, totally out of order in doing what they did. The law should support the right of children to walk about their neighbourhoods, to become used to being part of their communities as independent human beings from a young age, and it ought to do so by removing real threats to children, like speeding drivers, molestors, murderers, and gangs. If they put all their effort, ALL of it, into doing those things, rather than trying to penalise parents for allowing their children to live a healthy, broad, expansive life full of exercise and Independence, then the balance here would be much better, in my opinion.

a reply to: Sublimecraft
Thats true. Give room and let them make their mistakes but with clear lines and what you wrote pretty pictures my childhood. And I know what you mean with envy, they are envy because their kids are loud, entitled and can not sit still for a second things like that. While the kids that enjoy some grade of trust with their parents but have clear rules and know that it has consequences to break them intentionally learn to behave, be polite and what to do when and where and what better not while still have freedom like camping for a weekend with knives in 4 grade.