Post Millennial Marriage Strike

I'm in my twenties and I receive SSDI from the government. I get 700$ per month. And I've been having for-profit college recruiters blowing up my phone to enroll in their online university. I've been working with my job coach for over a year, I've had interviews at red lobster, good will, another thrift shop, burger king, and a call center and in still unemployed.

as far as marriage goes. divorce rates are at at n all time high I think. I would merry joe carol from the following though.

originally posted by: hotel1
I think it has been successfully established that the trend is real and that for the most part it is seen as not being good. What has not been definitely established is the reasons for the trend and wether or not society as a whole should or should not be concerned by it.

Once again thanks for participating.

It really isn't a relevant question considering there is no corrective action possible and 'society' has no opinion as it is not a real thing.

A very interesting discussion.

The most successful relationships I've seen have been couples who just don't get married. Once you start the whole wedding thing, you pile so much expected behaviour from your new partner it puts so much more pressure on the relationship that doesn't need to be there, if your happy with your partner, why add the pressure of marriage, why would you spend so much money on a wedding, one day, just to prove you love your lover.People spend a small fortune on weddings, money now better served investing in your child's future

a reply to: hotel1

No, I just think society is transitioning and that it might not be for the best

originally posted by: woodwardjnr
The most successful relationships I've seen have been couples who just don't get married. Once you start the whole wedding thing, you pile so much expected behaviour from your new partner it puts so much more pressure on the relationship that doesn't need to be there, if your happy with your partner, why add the pressure of marriage, why would you spend so much money on a wedding, one day, just to prove you love your lover.People spend a small fortune on weddings, money now better served investing in your child's future

And yet, out of all the couples I know ... they are all married and happily so with only one exception.

Marriage doesn't add any strain, not unless the strain was already there to begin with in which case your shacked up with someone simply because you currently have no other options and not because you see them as a life partner. You are basically using them and deluding yourself.

a reply to: ketsuko

You mention options and I think you may have hit the crux right there. Anyone, be they male or female, are defined by the sexual market options open to them, which are value rated by the modern socio- sexual dating market. Those males or females with options get to choose, those without can, at best, feast on crumbs from the modern socio-sexual market dating table.

originally posted by: hotel1

I present these opinions of others for discussion as I found them sufficiently thought provoking and worthy of exploration.

Gah. I may very well get slammed from all directions for what's coming. I can only speak honestly from how I personally see it, and someone else might have another opinion. Is there empirical data to assist us, we who are disheartened at the lack of both true love and real companionship in the world today? The lack of integrity, truth and loyalty? Or at least the lack we sense is there? I would like to raise two issues.

Please, only throw soft objects my way, no beer cans or shoes and the like?

I think some of it does have to do with this "new" feminism. Some of it is so ridiculous I feel ashamed for women sometimes. Men are truly turned down and off by this sense of constant condemnation. If you're a straight man with a penis, then you're a target or an enemy or both. Even worse, if you happen to be a white man. Men are automatically condemned by virtue of that penis (even if they've never done anything bad with it) by women, for everything from rape to being passed over for promotion.

Yes, yes, the war-mongering, oppression and murder... the rape, slavery, and depravity throughout the history of the world has been perpetrated by men, I wonder if that is simply because throughout time, it has been men who are hunters and protectors, providers and decision makers? The strong of the two sexes of us. By virtue of their penis?
Well, I admit it may have some mystical powers,

But it is more, perhaps, that women have been the fairest. The weaker, and of course, the nurturer. It would be disingenuous, of course, to omit that women; especially in the last 20 years, have become increasingly violent. Women these days are more and more the perpetrators of domestic violence, murder, child abuse and sexual assault of children.

It all reminds me of a very short answer that Christina Hoff Sommers gave in to the accusation that men were obsolete. Make no mistake, Sommers is a feminist. But she is a "fact-checking" feminist and she works to keep women and their feminism honest. Check out her 4 minute answer to that 'men are obsolete' question:

ARE MEN OBSOLETE?

One of the responders to the video gave reply; and I admit it made me both wince and feel a pang of sadness. The young man said: "I'm beyond caring at this point. If I am considered "obsolete" then I'm totally fine with that. I'll just go back to playing video games and minding my own business as I always have. As far as I'm concerned there was never a competition to begin with, just a bunch of very unpleasant people shouting at me because I happened to be born with a penis."

Ouch.

Listen up ladies.


I also think men have become porn-damaged and celebrity blinded from so young an age due to 24/7 instant porn access via the Internet. They think women should have sex like porn stars and look like the photoshopped and airbrushed faces and bodies of Hollywood they come to believe are the ideal. Forget if she has a good heart, is faithful, would die to protect you. If she doesn't screw like those porn images or look like the latest ideal woman..... meh. Right?
C'mon guys. Here is two-minutes worth of why that is poison to any meaningful relationship:

How Does A Man's Use Of Pornography Shape And Harm A Woman's Heart And View Of Herself?


Also, the trouble is still that men feel a need to plow as many fresh green fields as his tractor has gas to plow. He has trouble staying in his own backyard. No, not all men, but enough to make a girl think twice.

All joking aside, both men and women, I think, are contributing to the demise of the traditional relationship. It isn't the fault of one sex, and neither feminism nor porn and Hollywood, encompasses all of what we are doing to ourselves and each other. You can't even bring gay marriage into this. Heteros are destroying themselves. Whomever is gay has always been and always will be, they aren't concerned with nor can they diminish hetero relationships. This one's all on us.

What I think hurts us in a real and big way is that when we try to enter new relationships, we have already painted the person with the paintbrush of the past hurt. I know a lot of guys have been treated quite shabbily by shallow mindless women, and women too, they have been abused, cheated on, lied to and abandoned.... but no one else is that person who did those things to us. Why do we do that? Why do we bring everything from the past into a hopeful future? It makes no sense, but we do it. And it is doomed from the start.

If we could turn back time. Not too far... I would like to be able to smoke or vote or pick my own man or sit in a theatre or bar by myself. But go far enough back that life is simpler and richer, with focus on relationships and family and making memories. Less of the internet, porn, war against the penis, social media.....
ha! Yeah. I've been through enough that I don't have to apologize for being a dreamer. -__-

I kind of sort of feel this is the matter. But a solution? Perhaps, we've already fallen over the cliff?

a reply to: StarlightNine
All of what you say fits the overall narrative of the thread and brings even more depth to the points. It very much seems that things will continue along path and short of complete societal collapse, things will not be going back to the way they were as far as this topic is concerned.

originally posted by: hotel1
It very much seems that things will continue along path and short of complete societal collapse, things will not be going back to the way they were as far as this topic is concerned.

There will be no collapse, Millennials are acting rationally to the MAJAOR changes that occurred economically and judicially in the the USA. These changes include, the increases in costs to start small businesses, the lowering of thresholds for criminal charges and the overall reduction in opportunities for economic "second chances". We are a "one-and-done" society and Millenials know it better than ANY other generation because they grew up and were ingrained with "zero-tolerance" policies, in ALL parts of their lives.

Millennials are eliminating owning "things" of any kind, that they can lose or have taken away, should they get "dealt a bad hand". They have seen our society for what it is, a big casino, where the people whom seem to be winning the most are the ones with largest bankrolls. In the mind of a Millennial a rich celebrity can afford to get married and divorced many time, a wall street banker can afford to have babies "making more people" and only rich kids can start businesses that have a realistic shot and being profitable. For example, take a look at ANY of the hot venture capital companies out there today, 98 out of 100 are founded by rich kids under 30 years old. Compare that to the 1960's and 1970's when 30+ year old veterans were founding businesses, with a combo of savings and loans from banks, NOT mommy and daddy venture capital connections. Most Millennials know that they are not these people, so they minimize potentials for losses and surprisingly they are quite good at it. They know that without money as a "foundation", you've got nothing, because in our society you can loose everything in a traffic stop, going to the hospital without insurance or an accusation of rape at a frat party.

"Opting-out" of everything, solves the "risk" equation quite nicely. I will note, the Millennial thought process is definitely somewhat sad and defeatist, but it is certainly a rational response to economic and criminal system we have operating in America today.

A Millennial would deal with loss in this manner, "oh..I broke the law and you are taking me to jail? Well, all I have is the stuff in this bag here, so I'll take the free meals and place to sleep, while I wait for my court hearing because I couldn't find full-time employment anyway".

A boomer would never have taken the position of "minimize losses", so the codes and laws, as currently written, have absolutely no way to deal with this thought process shift among the younger generation. Millennials are going to overload the system with apathy because its been designed to SOLELY energize "busy-body", A-types, to grab more than their share. Millennials don't like "busy-body",A- types and won't cooperate with them on any level, ignoring their mandates, rejecting their advice, refusing to buy wares for sale and/or contracting for their services. The craziest part, is that mass apathy, hoisted upon the current corporate and governments bureaucracies, just might cause real change, due to "under-load", because the current system is designed for constant overload by A-types killing each other to get a penny more of profit.