Meeting my son who I gave up for Adoption 30 yrs ago for the first time.

a reply to: misskat1

Good Evening- "A Mother to One is a Mother to ALL" I'd recommend that You "get out of Your way" and allow Your Maternal Instincts take over, as You typed, there hasn't been One day that You haven't thought about Him and I'd guess He has some questions, let the Love/Truth flow and there is NO way it won't be a pleasant/growing/Loving experience for ALL involved.

I'll also bet that when the meeting is over a HUGE load will be removed, because I'd opine that along with those daily thoughts, some worry was mixed in?? ALL that will be removed/erased, and only forward will be viewed.

Goo...GREAT for the both of You. Tons of folks don't get the chance or if they do, they balk, and then the thoughts haunt them from that point on.. R E L I E F.

namaste

P.S. You don't type a day past 36

I'm extremely happy for you.

I wish both you and your son the best of luck on your new relationship.

You know what I think? I think things will work out just fine. I'm sure you are both nervous and not quite sure what to expect, but that is completely normal. Obviously you have always loved him and kept in touch with the adoptive parents. You actually chose the adoptive parents only wanting what would be best for your son. I am sure he will see this.

He is a good looking and talented young man. Looks happy in the vid. I am sure he has had the good life you intended for him. Be yourself when you meet him, try to relax as best you can and all else will fall into place. I can't wait to hear how this all turns out. I am actually very excited for you. HUGS!!!!!

Thank you everyone, I will be holding my breath until summer.
And I will let you know how it turns out.

I have received a few private messages about adoption and finding ones birth mom or siblings. So, I thought I would share my advice. For what ever its worth.

Several years ago, I found my friends birth mom. As well as finding my own son. I dont know if any of this will help anyone else, but:

Start by creating a free blog. (I use wordpress) In the first paragraph, put all the information you have, and try to think of the wording your birth mom would use, or a sibling would use when internet searching. Dates, place of birth etc. Then add what you want to say to her and provide pictures. You will look familiar, to the right family. A blog is good too, because you can add private pages where you can keep a diary of where you have looked, etc to go back to later. It helps not to get caught in the same loop, as well as keeping records. Its easy to cut and paste records or bits of information you dont want to lose, so you can come back and work on the loose ends later. (I had a stroke so I forget things)

Then I would take all you know and search Ancestry.com, and all genealogy sites for your date and place of birth etc. Concentrate on the area you were born. If a women gave birth at the same time you were born, then write a letter. Take the names you find and see if there are any marriages or divorces on the genealogy sites. So you can track new names if you need to. You might even need to check the social death index with these names to see who is still living.

I would also, search the local newspaper archives from where you were born to see if there was ever a personal ad taken out by your other family. I would also call the local library and just ask if there is anyway you could leave a message for your birth mom. You might even put a personal ad in the same newspaper. Dont expect it to happen over night.

Put yourself in their shoes, and try to anticipate where or how they would look for you. What their internet search would say. Then put that into your blog. Let your heart guide you to them.

Once you narrow down the possibilities, use a pay site to get the addresses, then start writing letters. I sent out a bunch of letters to my friends possible moms, then one day, the call came in, and the rest is history!!

I found my son on the social network sites. But, it was an open adoption and I knew his name.

Creating a blog is easy, but if your old like me, there is a learning curve, so If you need help with it let me know. However, the only one I have used is wordpress. I will be happy to help on the phone, and you can message me for my number, if you need me to walk you through wordpress.

Happy Hunting. Dont give up, it is worth finding your roots.

a reply to: misskat1

Good luck! I hope it becomes a positive experience for you both, and leads to a great life long relationship. ~$heopleNation

originally posted by: misskat1
I know I cant mother him, but that is what I "need.

Honestly - I don't think that is going to happen. Your child is an adult and has already had someone 'count fingers and toes'. What you'll most likely encounter is an adult with questions about family medical histories and perhaps some questions about how he came to be adopted.

I"m an adoptive parent and I've asked my daughter if she's curious or wants to try to find her birthparents. Her answer is always 'no'. She has no interest and doesn't care. She doesn't think of herself as adopted and neither do we. Her only curiosity is any medical issues that could be passed down genetically. She was able to get a lot answered via 23&me, back when they could do the genetic testing. She has no interest in trying to make any kind of relationship with birth family. There is no emotional connection.

I know not all adopted people think the same, but I'm passing along how my adult daughter is thinking as a possible example of what you may encounter so you can be prepared.

What a touching story! Hope you share with us how it goes!
I have heard that it doesn't work out well for some people. But it sounds like you did everything in a way that makes it clear you did care, and did whatever you could for his well being.
Just rooting for you both!!